(i can't believe there isn't already a) Skyrim/TES Thread!!

According to Steam I've clocked over 2800 hours in Oblivion. I just love this game so much. I love running around Cyrodiil, picking flowers. I love Wes Johnson. I love the guild quests (boom de yada boom de yada).

I keep meaning to give Skyrim a chance but after spending so much time playing Oblivion the UI throws me off really badly. It's close enough to be familiar but just ever so slightly wrong.

And honestly I'd rather fight Mehrunes Dagon than the Elf Klan or whatever. I spent nearly 3000 hours saving Cyrodiil and you bastards *broke* it just so you could go back to being gods? Screw you.

And I'm honestly a little afraid to give ESO a shot because SWTOR sunk its teeth really deeply into my brain and I don't need ANOTHER massive time-sink in my life right now. XD;

 

I just recently finished the Shivering Isles main quest on that note. With that done I was like I AM NOW FREE OF OBLIVION BACK TO SNOW HELL WITH ME. I will never be able to love Cyrodiil and its fucking grass. That awful, awful grass.

Though I don't care about Skyrim's main quest anymore than I do Oblivion's. I am a bit more partial to it though because I am biased in favor of Vikings over the Roman Empire. I have never finished either game's main quest and I honestly question if I will. I got close with Skyrim's once and then was distracted by a bunch of other bullshit. Morrowind's main quest I really loved though. It was my sort of religious scandal and intrigue.

 

God I love the Shivering Isles SO MUCH. THOSE MUSHROOMS.

Also, diverging slightly into meta, I made the argument in private chat the other day that what the Thalmor are trying to do is in fact *really dumb* because being immaterial and non-linear would most likely NOT lead to an improvement in their quality of life in any appreciable way. On what do I base this statement?

On the Aureals and Mazken of course, and how they live their lives! They're minor spirits! They could live wild and free in the waters of Oblivion if they wanted! But they don't, because it's cold and boring and way too easy to get lost out there. They'd MUCH rather swear themselves to the service of a tall, strong, beardy daedric prince like Sheogorath, who builds them these lovely temples to live in, and gives them enemies to fight, and builds them even lovelier chimes to help them find their way home after they get poofed (usually in the course of fighting said enemies). Sure, they have to watch over a bunch of aggravatingly dumb mortals in exchange for all this, but given how both factions totally *lose their shit* when Jyggalag's forces threaten the chimes, it's clear that even patrol duty in New Sheoth is preferable to Oblivion.

And *that's* what the Thalmor are trying to sign on for (only, presumably, in service to one of the greater aedra)? WHY????

It's dumb enough that I have to wonder if they're secretly being manipulated behind the scenes. By Mephala, maybe. Or just possibly the one being in the cosmos with a vested interest in totally breaking reality, for both aedra and daedra...who one lore book even implies already tried a similar trick once, by setting Lorkhan loose on the other entities...perhaps the Dread Father is finally avenging himself on his wayward offspring...

 

I am entirely fine with them probably fucking themselves over, honestly. I want to believe that one of the Daedra is manipulating them behind the scenes. Just because it's funny.

AND YES THERE ARE SO MANY MUSHROOMS. I like the Dementia half of the island best. Not just because I am a paranoid loony who fears everything, but also because I just like the swamp aesthetic more than HAPPY FAIRY TALE WONDERLAND OF MURDER. I like the Dunmer's mushrooms best though. Even if getting around in Telvanni towers is stupid bullshit that made me just go "Fuck it I don't care we are using the console because I didn't buy a god damn potion". I like House Redoran's aesthetic best though. They were like "WE ARE BUILDING OUR MANSIONS OUT OF THIS GIANT FUCKING CRAB'S DEAD CORPSE AND DESIGNING ALL OF OUR OTHER BUILDINGS AFTER GIANT INSECTS". Like good sensible folk.

truly boethiah taught these people responsible architecture

 

As long as the Thalmor only fuck *themselves* over it, I'm cool with it. Pull a dwemer, knock yourselves out. But they are bound and determined to ruin Tamriel for everyone *else,* too, especially the beastfolk and races of men (did you HEAR what they did to the moons to bring the Khajiit on board with their new Dominion???? NOT COOL) and that's what I object to. I *like* Tamriel, with all its (frequently contradictory) weirdness. If it did turn out to be Sithis behind it all, I would probably have to suck it up and oppose him (even though I love the Dark Brotherhood oh so very much) because come on, dude. I know you were the first of the house, but it's been like five thousand years now. You need to learn to share.

Dunmer aesthetic is the BEST. <3 My friend who's playing ESO keeps throwing screencaps of nyx hounds and the little chicken-lizards at me, they are ADORABLE and I love them. I really need to give Morrowind a shot, maybe I'll have an easier time getting into it than I have with Skyrim.

I got a friend with bipolar really interested in the series by describing the Shivering Isles to her. She thinks the Manic sound like a complete hoot. I'd never really thought about the dichotomy of the Isles through an actual, like....medical lens or whatever, but she says it actually strikes a major chord with her and her experience of bipolar disorder. Which is pretty neat!

 

And the best part: Skar the emperor crab might not have been dead. House Redoran woke it up to fight the daedra during the Oblivion crisis.

I'm not sure which is better: Living, but really lazy giant crab hollowed out to use as a municipal district, or a giant dead zombie crab.

 

;-;

not even skar was even to help save ald'ruhn too

MY ELVES

THE RED YEAR

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

a Skyrim thread??? :D
hello friends!
I've been playing Skyrim for about a year, beat the main questline, and am now proceeding to fuck around doing every other available quest. I WILL DO ALL THE QUESTS
also I married Brelyna and I Love Her
I'm a Khajiit and I have magics and it is FUN and I also enjoy killing people, stealing things, and eating human flesh.

 

( the sounds i made when i realized I could be a cannibal in this game was the same sound I made in Fallout 3, and it was a wonderful sound.)

 

A TES thread but yes hello!

 

YES GOOD!!!! the criminal life is the Good Life, and Illusion and Alteration are the Best Schools

i just realized that although i've had this computer (and thus this copy of skyrim) for almost two years, and although i have characters at level 118, 95, 64, and 47, i still have not finished the main questline on any character. WHOOPS............

(oh but recently!! i have tried out a new playstyle!! because i wanted to try the civil war questline for once in my life, i made a nord character and decided that she was a Skyrim For The Nords type, and those types like traditional sword-and-shield combat so..... i have discovered that shields are the best, holy shit, oh my god??? just whack everybody with your shield all the time)
(her name is Ylva and she can't sneak worth shit and she's probably a bigot)
(i havent even bothered to pay much attention to the civil war questline......)

edit: re: marriage, i have been left Unsatisfied because i am not allowed to marry any of the characters i desperately want to :( let me kiss Serana...... or Nazir..... or Sapphire..... or Brynjolf..... :(

 

just let me adopt lizard and kitty children

 

oh man I only finished the main quest because I was like "gonna get 'er done and THEN do the fun stuff" and since finishing that I have become a thief and an assassin and taken up The Criminal Life and it's great because whenever I get caught doing smalltime bad shit I go "I'm the Thane" or "I'm with the Thieves' Guild" and either they look the other way or they let me pay less of a fine than I should and it's GREAT and when I get caught doing bigtime bad shit...well I'm just careful not to get caught doing that shit also I enjoy Destruction and Conjuration magics I will lightning bolt you into next week
(omg I haven't done the civil war questline yet I...I don't want to...)

 

oh oh oh. are any of you guys the type of Huge Nerd to give your crafted items/weapons names?? because i usually go through the whole game with weapons named things like Big Sexy or Diplomacy (or more sincere cool-sounding names if it's an endgame weapon) and i inevitably call the dragonscale/bone armour Dovahskiin. also every enchanted alchemy/magicka-cost-reducing/smithing etc. gear set gets an appropriate name. for organization. also for cool-points

 

omg i HATE CONFRONTATION and also half the things i am carrying at any given time are stolen so i go to GREAT PAINS to never ever ever get caught lmao..... i quicksave before i pick pockets/before i kill people and use quickload JUDICIOUSLY..... do you play on PC or console??

(also I FEEL U.... even though i created the character SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT PURPOSE, i still.... don't wanna..... she's level 47 now and i still Don't Wanna)

 

I used to do that but now I just don't care because a. all my valuable stolen shit is in my house and b. I'm usually only carrying cabbages and stealing cabbages anyway, the only time I have to worry is when killing people
I'm on PC! don't have any consoles...
(omg yes it's just. nope.)

 

I had fun with the Stormcloak side of the civil war questline because their quests were just so stupidly manly. GO FORTH AND SLAUGHTER THIS FUCKING ICE WRAITH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS TO PROVE YOUR MANLINESS. SHOW HIM MY AXE. HE'LL GET WHAT I MEAN.

The Empire side of things was much less interesting.

 

Basically if the Empire wants to get into my good graces it needs to get all Song of Pelinal in this shit. Have General Tullius bathing in the gibs of foes he slaughtered in a berserker rage as he purifies this land of the Elven threat.

 

omg it's just. so many of my alchemy ingredients are stolen, and so many of my jewels, and my gold..... not that i really need the jewels or gold because i am Incredibly Wealthy and i have the ability that lets you find jewels EVERYWHERE, but. it is.... the principle of the thing....... also i dont like when the guards yell at me >:( i am a Citizen Of Note!!!! how dare they get on my case about killing the emperor's decoy in public that one time!!!!

edit: hold up wait

whats. what's the deal with the cabbage

 

I tend to steal mostly books and money/jewels to sell for more money. So getting caught is pretty hellish for me. I need those books and I need that money to buy even more books. Or to upgrade my home to have the library I need to house all my books.