Vent Walk-in freezer (general-purpose vent thread)

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by seebs, Jun 1, 2016.

  1. raginghearts

    raginghearts Well-Known Member

    I'm still bitter and salty about a... I don't want to say toxic friendship, but a really shitty one that ended on a really shitty, really blamey note, with all of the blame being dropped on me--and I do admit I was at fault, yes! I tromped all over some boundaries and wasn't as great of a friend as I could have been and wasn't honest about my feelings and let things that bothered me just sit until they got too unbearable. But I was absolutely not the only one at fault and I'm still so salty about it

    and just recently the ex-friend issued a public, blanket apology, and it sounds kinda nice but he's given apologies like this before and it doesn't address any of the specific shit he pulled, it's all just "I was angry and wasn't as full of love as I could have been" and it just
    it sounds like stuff he's said before and not gotten better and I want him to fucking admit and acknowledge what he did that was so shitty, I want a direct fucking apology

    but at the same time I feel bad about not being forgiving, about not giving him another chance. But I'm tired of giving people second chances and then having them go back to do the exact same shit, and I'm worried if I do just accept his apology and decide to play nice, then I'll spend the whole time feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. That and, like. We never were really that close, to be honest. He himself liked to point that out, again and again and again despite the fact that I asked him repeatedly to stop bringing it up because it made my anxiety go off the rails. And a lot of his actions and words and shit sounded a lot like my mom. Which just set off all sorts of alarms

    but. Yeah. I'm really struggling with... the better thing to do would be to forgive him and move on and stop holding onto my bitterness, but I don't want to, I don't want to feel like I'm just letting him off the hook and I want an actual apology but does that make me a selfish person
    aaaaaaaaargh
     
  2. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    when we were all on the same team we would joke about friending the team leader (reciprocation is discouraged in the program) on fb and he'd always say no never absolutely not

    but the other day I found out he confirmed fb requests from like half the team and ignored mine

    it's not even a big deal, like, fine whatever dude, you're missing my a+ quality content, you never got back to me on stuff anyway, I was so fucked up the entire program and I didn't get any support (example: we were in houston during the pulse thing. actually, I don't really think I have to explain that one any more)
    I was just super let down bk he was the only other lgbt person on the team and we'd have great discussions, and I guess I thought it was a potential friendship but I guess not
    :/

    edit: this is now after the program, all friending has occurred post program, so it's not like
    ...I haven't slept yet so I want to say it isn't malfeasance but I don't think that's the word
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2016
  3. ANON1(a)+?

    ANON1(a)+? Vent Time|18+

    Stop being so damn passive-aggressive!
     
  4. BlackholeKG

    BlackholeKG I saw you making fire

    Brainbug I don't like: Romance scenes in films/tv being hard to watch. Not because I'm uncomfortable with romance, but because it triggers jealousy and self hatred such that I usually have to literally look away from the screen when one's happening. It's so pathetic and not even caused by anything that really should be important, but just. Argh.
     
  5. Everett

    Everett local rats so small, so tiny

    i'm irrationally annoyed at the diabetes care people because they're too non judgmental?? like, you go to push a door open and it's extremely light so you fall over due to your own momentum. i'm expecting them to be like, hm wow your numbers are bad, but they're like "you're more than numbers" which is stupid! what the fuck. i'm hungry
     
  6. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Its funny how the older I get the more guilt and shame I am feeling over my sexuality and how none of it is coming from outside the queer community
     
    • Like x 1
  7. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident Bisexual Lich

    • New follower on tumblr.
    • Reblog a thing, new follower talks in tumblr IM to me.
    • Get excited because that rarely happens and Yay! Interaction! :D
    • Exchange about Thing Reblogged, don't know their reference, make a joke for a reference of my own because I seriously think it's funny and wanna Talk.
    • Unable to tell if their comments afterward were at the idea I put forward being stupid/insulting me, or if agreeing with silly idea and the comment being about how character involved is dumb.
    • Can't tell tone of the thing, doesn't know person, cannot ask.
    • Immediate screaming static noise and a lot of Noping the Fuck Out of the text box because Panic Lives There Now.
    how the fuck do people interact, I do not understand this, I had to learn to talk to my friends like i do now how do I do that with strangers without turning into a panic puddle and forgetting Words.
     
  8. ectoBiologist

    ectoBiologist I'm a wise guy

    FUCK YOU YOU STUCK UP ASSWIPE!!!!! "Oh look at me, my names [redacted] and I like to hit on minors with inappropriate sexual innuendos and steal people's friends and lie to people and tell people I'm too good to play with them in splatoon." FUCK YOU !!!
     
  9. ANON1(a)+?

    ANON1(a)+? Vent Time|18+

    I'm worried about the TPP, and Trump winning (both as separate things, for separate reasons) but I don't know enough to know how likely they are or how things will change if they do happen.
     
  10. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    I'm still mad at her but also I want to go back to being friends but also I am very fed up and Done but also it's her birthday today and just

    screams into abyss, sends her a message trying to express this, goes back to screaming
     
  11. tinyhydra

    tinyhydra a dingus

    i don't make friends and I don't contribute anuthing and my coworkers don't like me because I'm stuoid and boring and rude and I dunno, I just don't see it ever getting better. I think I'm gonna be like this for the rest of my life, and maybe I oughta just stop it before it gets old.
     
  12. Carnivorous Moogle

    Carnivorous Moogle whose baby is this

    hi i am here to offer my professional services as Shitty Parent Puncher. send me your shitty parents and i will punch them in the fucking face so hard they will texture glitch. i will provide this service for Free
     
    • Like x 7
  13. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident Bisexual Lich

    After 2 years of mysteriously losing $30-$40 a month to paypal charges of unknown origin, and 2 years of my spouse saying "I don't know!" but not really doing anything about it or asking questions or.. anything, really... after 2 fucking years of "don't worry, I'm on it" and having it brushed the fuck off, I figured it out in 10 minutes on google and the motherfucker is asleep and can't fix the damned problem.

    All this on top of him putting off paying the rent till the last second, forgetting the laundry for two days despite me offering to crawl and help if needs be and pushing myself physically to do everything else so it'd be even easier for him to handle the One Big Chore and one small chore.

    I am gnawing on the goddamn walls here.
     
  14. TheLittlestHero

    TheLittlestHero Striving for courage

    someone just made a big post about how my OTP is a hateship and could never possibly be fluffy and happy and healthy, and they linked a bunch of my work as examples of "doing it wrong" and I
    do not
    feel good right now
    I actually feel pretty bad right now
    I'm kind of shaking
    a lot

    whywhywhy do I care so much about something so damn trivial
     
    • Like x 2
  15. Hatchback

    Hatchback ... he is just fine again today

    I had to drive through my childhood hometown yesterday. I thought it would be fine. It's been so long.

    It... kinda had me fucked up just seeing it, though. My brain wanted to go drive by my childhood house so badly (for what the hell purpose, brain?), and thankfully I had someone else in the car so I didn't, but... I keep thinking about it.

    Fuck that city.
     
  16. IndigoRiffRaff

    IndigoRiffRaff FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

    desire to eliminate all meaningful relationships from my life and then kill myself is back, and it feels more tempting than ever before
    which is problematic because I just became really attached to someone
    well time to figure out how to gradually drift apart from them with hurting them - fuck, that's probably not possible
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2016
  17. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    *throws self on the ground and huffs*

    time to be angry at my mom and feel bad about it because she hasn't done anything LATELY (because I haven't been in contact with her lately) because someone did something that she does all the time. specifically, when someone says "huh?", repeating back "HUH?!???" in an mocking voice as a jab (and then denying it's a jab). she does that to my dad ALL THE TIME and then is surprised and so hurt when he's annoyed with her.

    I'm just so done acting like I'm okay with what she does because anything negative (that isn't Approved Sugercoated Criticism) is an attack on her. I just don't have the goddamn energy to do EITHER of those things.
     
  18. The Frood Abides

    The Frood Abides Doesn't Know Where His Rug Is

    http://www.thingsinsquares.com/comics/make-a-choice/

    I saw this comic and I realized the source of a lot of my angst.

    This is the path that every single one of these dumb inspirational messages shows. You do something practical and it kills your soul, so you quit and you're happy pursuing your passion. I'm scared of the reverse. It may not be possible for me to earn a living writing. Not even a shitty living. My family is full of failed artists. What the hell makes me think I'm different?

    As soon as I step off that path, I can't win. There's no narrative in our culture that makes that a worthwhile choice. If I fail, I'm the sad delusional fuck with a half-written novel and a job washing dishes. But if I somehow succeed at a different career, I become the corporate sellout that tries to fill the gaping hole in his life with money.

    I know it's possible to be a good, happy, worthwhile person and not do anything earthshaking with your life, no matter if you're rich or poor. but there's still a whisper in my head that says "not for me." Without my talent I may as well be a broken windup toy.
     
    • Like x 4
  19. iff

    iff Well-Known Member

    oh yay my dad's mad bc my sis and I didn't do a thing we didn't know we were supposed to do. how unusual
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2016
  20. Everett

    Everett local rats so small, so tiny

    just got the "i dont mean to be rude but youre disgustingly messy can you PLEASE wash your dishes and clean the toilet and vacuum and throw out all these old papers and everything like why is there so much clutter" talk from my landlady. cleaned the toilet and moved a couple shoeboxes to my room. good to know i'm officially baffingly disgusting?????
     
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