There has been some excitement behind the scenes recently. You may have noticed Seebs and I being slightly more on edge, or you might have fielded some weird requests from me. This is why. Some of you may have noticed a fairly disturbing thread over in the 'Is This Abuse?' forum. Worth reading, but a few sample quotes: Spoiler: tw: abuse, exploitation, suicide attempt his response had been to get VERY MAD because he took it to mean people would be putting claims on food in the fridge, and that was something he didn't want because then what would he eat if people put claims in on food i am currently on food assistance, i get money every month to buy food for myself. i have to buy garbage food most of the time to prevent it being eaten by others. if i buy frozen food then no one else will eat it. it has happened many times that food i had bought ended up missing. if i'm not careful with what kind of food i order out, it will also get eaten. and yeah but see it makes him anxious to have people put claims on any food cuz how would he know what he could eat he's also insisted on not having any 'go-betweens' or 'mediators,' and that he'll only talk about these things if op comes to him about it first. despite, you know. screaming at other people he talks with. Other highlights include objecting strongly to emergency services being called in response to a suicide attempt, and balking at requests to let emergency services know where a suicidal roommate was. The OP of this thread is a Kintsugi user who ended up needing a place to stay, and someone offered to take them in, give them a place to stay, and so on. Bought tickets for them to move out. And then... this happened. And this isn't some random asshole off the Internet. This is Wiwaxia. Yes, that Wiwaxia. The one who was so vocal about watching for abuse and ejecting anyone abusive from the community. This is one of the reasons that this went up: please don't assume that someone from here is necessarily going to be trustworthy. Please report things that make you uncomfortable. We really, really want to try to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. As part of that, Wiwaxia's account has been limited (post moderation, no private messages, no edit/delete) to ensure accountability and oversight. Because this was profoundly fucked up. To head off a couple likely questions: No, this has not resulted in a ban. It has resulted in the above restrictions. Yes, the OP of the thread above is now out and living somewhere safer. We didn't want to share anything until after they were out and had given the okay.
Note: the timestamp on this is way old because it was drafted in a hidden forum so concerned parties could review the wording prior to it being displayed publicly.
preemptively, in case anyone's impression is that this is a continuation of the Great Seebs-Wax Feud: i speak as someone who used to be good friends with wax, agreed with a lot (definitely not all) of his* ideas wrt the drama that started that, and regularly gets pissed at seebs to this day still, when i say that his behavior has been absolutely fucking horrific. i won't tell anyone you have to cut contact with him, but if you don't, please be aware that he has a history of sexually predatory behavior that is not limited to people who live with him. be on high alert. *not misgendering. despite having gone to great lengths to appear nonbinary on the forums (and possibly AFAB as well) wax uses male pronouns in real life, claims to pretend to use 'they' for ''privacy,'' and has not made any indication that he is not a cis man irl. make of this what you will, given his predatory behavior toward multiple AFAB people from this community.
what in the great googly moogly to questionmarks OP, I'm so glad you got out and found another place to live. (should I post this here or in ITA? are they still visiting Kintsugi?)
Also I figure I should make it clear that if people have questions they are welcome to message this account but also I do not guarantee any responses and if I find your PM upsetting I will post it publicly.
The original draft FAQ, excerpted and paraphrased from conversations I had with people on the topic: Q: What the fuck? A: What the fuck. Q: What the FUCK? A: What. The. Fuck. Q: WHAT THE FUCK? A: What the fucking fuck.
Yeah, this is very much about the recent fuckawful abuse and how it colors things going forward (the restrictions, the fact that we would encourage people to be careful about meeting up in person, etc.). I know that processing previous events with new information in mind helps people make sense of stuff, and maybe we should have a separate thread for that.
hm, fair enough. i'm still uncomfortable with other-drama stuff coming up too much in this thread--another one for processing sounds like a good idea--but given that i haven't seen most of his correspondence with people around that time and how many things i had no idea about until someone told me, targeting people to wear away at in private doesn't exactly seem incredible.
At least with regards to some of the stuff posted publicly about moderation techniques and stuff. I don't care if you think otherwise, but also note that just because a person is abusive doesn't mean they can't recognize it in others. Cognitive dissonance is a thing. Also I don't wanna rehash a lot of that shit here either. I'm very tired and I'd prefer to mostly keep this to questions about This Particular thing. If you guys want a processing thread for yourselves absolutely go for it.
