pretty much what is in the title. depressed, possible ptsd, possible aspergers, possible just about every fucking thing under the sun. (not really, but add ADHD on top of it) honestly like I feel like I am totally run down all the time. sleeping doesn't get me much energy, but I still have to trudge through the day. Work today was hell, I can't focus, and as soon as my mental script got messed up, I couldn't figure out what to do. I fucked up counting money, I fucked up ringing things up. I feel like I can't remember how to do anything. All I wanna do is shove my head in a book or on the computer and stop existing forever. Which is not a thing I can actually do. help?
That sounds like depression, yeah. If possible, talk to psych types about treatment, which may or may not include medications. If there's a way to change your living environment, that might also help. A bad job can make you very depressed, for instance.
Yeah, therapist has said I need to make an appointment with a psych type person so I can get back on some medication. I haven't been on anti-depressants in over 6 months. Living environment is a no-go for now. Still stuck with parents which is a whole nother thing that I covered in a couple threads in the abuse forum. The job isn't really that bad, I mostly get to spend a lot of my day reading or texting. It's just when I have to math something out, or have to do something that breaks my script of reading off the total on the screen and telling people to have a good day, I get hella tripped up. I froze today when someone handed me a fully stamped stamp card, and was silent for like two minutes while my poor brain tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. (I was supposed to give them a discount on the thing, that is what I was supposed to do. It took me that long to figure it out. I felt so stupid.)
Feeling stupid because you're overloaded and depressed is... well, actually really common, but it's not very accurate.
Yeah. It's just frustrating and tiresome. I only work one day a week on average, so I shouldn't feel so overloaded and depressed and tired.
My favorite analogy for "shouldn't" feel so depressed is "why do you even have asthma? there's lots of air!"
Yeah. Blurgh. I have spent a lot of time being told by my parents that I should not be depressed or sad or anything. Because I am not even working that much
Even working a little can ruin you when you have little to no spoons to begin with. Medication should definitely help if you get a mix that works right, but also, being constantly told you shouldn't be depressed is probably making you more depressed. I wonder if you've been sick for so long because you're so out of energy and your body can't deal with it?
Probably! I tend to get mildly ill like this for months at a time. It's kind of like a constant state of being. At least it's not as bad as the time I was sick for a whole month with stomach cramps, and was throwing up and unable to eat much. I lost like.... twenty pounds in a month? It took me two years to gain any weight back too.
That sounds like either a symptom of depression, or an already weak immune system keeping you almost constantly low-level ill, which saps your energy and contributes to your depression.
That... is a possibility! I hadn't ever really thought much about being sick all the time, it just was sort of a thing I stopped noticing after a while.
Uh... Take my words with a very tentative grain of salt, but if home life is really stressful, sometimes working more helps, especially if you like your work.
I will be working more soon, I just tend to get really really tired and even MORE stressed out the more days I work in a row.
Definitely go it slow on adding more work days. Arupt changes suck. :c (I admit I was hoping to find an answer on this thread, so I'm really not sure if my advice is any good)
Possibly whooping cough. Apparently the vaccine wears off over the years but whooping cough is very mild in adults. So there's a bit of an epidemic of it going on but people generally don't know as by the time they go to the doctors with this nagging cough the bacteria itself is gone, just leaving some damage behind. Avoid babies under two months. I know this isn't helpful. For tiredness, possibly there's a physical cause. E.g. mould in ventilation system, can you move for a few days, go on holiday? Maybe keep a diary see if you can find a correlation?
Haha, I can't go anywhere for a few days. No money, no transportation. Plus my parents would be pissed off that I wanted to get away from the house because then I am avoiding them.
I don't know that I have any actual good advice. Given what you've said in other threads about your home life (your dad sounds like a controlling asshole, btw), my first recommendation would be to get out of there because it's amazing how much a better environment helps. But I get that that's not really an option for you. This is stupid advice, because depression does not give much of a fuck about what you should be able to do or shouldn't be doing. It's just a very fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of depression in general. The most helpful thing I can think of right now is maybe you can find a way to work some shifts at times that are even less busy. So the work isn't as stressful, but it still gives you an excuse to get out of the house. Maybe something like that is worth it even if you aren't getting paid? like volunteering at your local library or something? I'm not sure. It seems like a really difficult situation.
They only have one shift at my job, cuz they open at eight in the morning and close at five. No real options for less busy shifts.
