Should I drop or not?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by luna, Oct 30, 2017.

  1. luna

    luna Active Member

    So it turns out that I super can’t take public speaking classes. The school councillors and professors suggested I take group speaking, but my anxious ass waited until the last minute to sign up for classes for Reasons and there were none left and I felt I had to get all my units done this semester. Teo weeks in and I really, really wanna drop public speaking and take group speaking next semester, but my dad will be extremely mad. Should I still go for it? Any suggestions on how to talk my dad down? Do you think it is possible to secretly take the class next semester (while I’m still living with parents) and just not tell him?
     
  2. luna

    luna Active Member

    Factor: firsts speech is today and of course it is an introduction speech so of course I was too depressed to write it
     
  3. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    If it's causing you anxiety that will affect your ability to do schoolwork, I think dropping is a reasonable action to take. Can you explain that to your dad? Possibly saying you'll be taking something similar next semester, so that you're not missing out on something you'll never be able to take again. Maybe emphasize that this is something that could negatively affect your GPA?
     
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  4. Nobody's Home

    Nobody's Home I'm a Greg Coded Tom Girl

    Hm like you could do it secretly I guess but i dunno how ur dad works but it might be stressful to you to keep it a secret and be vigilant about it
    Perhaps if you think you could pull it off? But i don't think I can recommend that

    I think yeah in general it might be more useful to you if u drop to
    - like quell anxiety and take the class you'll be better able to participate on the future

    Perhaps say stuff like

    - you rushed and made the wrong decision but u think you'll be able to learn better in the group speaking? Like contrary to what school feels like sometimes (like i feel) that school is for learning thus it's better to get something more conducive to your learning right?
     
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  5. luna

    luna Active Member

    The problem is that my gpa is good for what I need ( transfer)- I just need to get my requirments done. Maybe I can argue that it’ll affect my ability to get a good grade in math?
    ...except I lied and told him I passed stats last year so he didnt get mad at me then. Oh what tangled webs.
    It depends on if he is still doing the lyft thing next year? Be that keeps him away for most o the day. I could also say I’m going for a walk? But this is probably wishful thinking.
    Their argument is that if I learned to get over my issue with public speaking it would be better than “giving in”
     
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  6. Nobody's Home

    Nobody's Home I'm a Greg Coded Tom Girl

    What kind of punishment from your dad will you get if you just drop it?
     
  7. Nobody's Home

    Nobody's Home I'm a Greg Coded Tom Girl

    Upon reflection my question isn't the best question, my apologies, feel free to ignore
     
  8. luna

    luna Active Member

    Best case scenario- nothing. Worst case- screaming, throwing things at me, destroying my things, possible escalation. Hes really hard to predict. Its entirely possible that he’ll be fine one day and angry the next
     
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  9. luna

    luna Active Member

    Ok how is this excuse- I still have credits left in my bog (what allows me to go to school for cheap) so I wanted to still go to class in the semester between finishing and transfer
    Of course then he might be mad that i’m not getting a job?
     
  10. Nobody's Home

    Nobody's Home I'm a Greg Coded Tom Girl

    I don't really know that school system exactly so i can't say for sure but
    Hm
    It could be a thing like it is easier to focus on studies if you don't have some job or job search distracting you because those are p labor and or thought intensive

    Perhaps stating reasons well in a formal way, like written down or something, might help?

    Not sure how to help with him trying to say getting over is something that will happen vs 'giving'
    But you are still going to attend a speaking course
    So perhaps if you can, leverage the benefits of group speaking skills? Like ok there's good things about learning to public speak but there's also good things to learn in group speaking
     
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  11. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    and possibly learning to do group speaking will help you with public speaking?
     
    • Agree x 3
  12. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    Okay, I have, like, negative fear of public speaking, so I'm probably not the best to give advice, but, like - what specifically makes it hard to do public speaking? Is it this speech, that it's about you? Is it that people will be watching you? Do you have problems with your voice? You don't necessarily need to answer, but, like, are the issues you have with public speaking ones that will be ameliorated by standing up with other people? If yes, maybe worth dropping. If no, maybe worth talking to the professor privately about ways to deal with anxiety and toughing it out?
     
  13. luna

    luna Active Member

    It’s about 20% that I’m up there alone with no one else to play off of (I don’t like being vulnerable) and like 80% that it’s about myself. I fucking hate having to do introduction speeches because I have nothing good to say about myself and I know nobody wants to sit there for like 2-3 minutes as some bitch has a pity party and the teachers always super stress that you can’t lie we’ll know if you lie!!!! And just. The idea of other people getting up there and having things to say and I just can’t is humiliating.
     
  14. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    Pfft, they have no idea if you lie. Maybe try doing that speech and if you feel like it's genuinely more stress than you want to go through/more stress than dealing with your dad, drop it?

    Also, like, strategies for intro speeches: how do you introduce yourself to people? What are, like, 3 things you're interested in? Major, town of origin, family composition, pet stories, hobby stories, volunteer stories and work stories are all fair game. You don't need to display any emotional vulnerability at all if you don't want to.
     
    • Agree x 1
  15. luna

    luna Active Member

    The specific structure of the speech is “something significant you did in the past, something significant you’re doing right now, what do you see yourself doing in the future” and I just. Have z e r o fucking clue how to do that speech w/o “I was a useless piece of shit who should have killed herself, I am a useless piece of shit who should kill herself, and I will be dead.” Also I mrntioned playig dnd on thr first day of the class and a 50 year old man practically backed me into a wall interrogating me about what edition I played, where I play, ect so. I am reluctant to share anything more.
     
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  16. luna

    luna Active Member

    And I dunno allistics have all sorts of wierd fucking powers how can I know if they can tell if I’m lying or not
     
  17. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    They think they know, sometimes, because there are tells? But most people aren't as good at reading them as they think they are, and most tells go out the window for neurodivergence anyway.

    So - in the past, did you complete any project you like, ever? Or did you participate in anything? Did you help anyone? Did you go somewhere? 'Significance' doesn't have to mean, like 'cured cancer,' just 'something that meant literally anything to you.' My go-to tends to be either 'got in a fight with a car and won' or 'was in a dogsled race.' And, like, right now, if you feel like opening up, fighting depression is a significant and impressive thing: you are keeping going despite your brain. It's awesome. Otherwise, if you're going early in the class period you can get away with saying you're working on your education - you can get away with that less the more people who use it before you. In the future, you're going to transfer to another educational institution - you can talk about that degree program and what that can be used for. I recommend making up something optimistic for this part, like a potential career or just enthusiasm about learning stuff with a specific thing about you think you'll find out more about specific opportunities once you're actually in that program.
     
  18. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    Most speech classes are crap and don't teach you how to speak. They just give you topics and make you do speeches.

    Public speaking is a teachable and learnable skill, but classes are not a good method. I've taught pretty anxious teenagers how to speak, but it's a one on one process that takes a while. It's not easy and it involves breaking down the physical performance into little pieces, but it can be done.
     
    • Informative x 1
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