Reporting the mods

i'm glad you've apparently managed it twice before, but yeah, please go to rehab and get professional help along with it. even if you don't wind up having a seizure from withdrawals or something, there's still the fact you'd have access to professional help and the beginning legs of therapy as well. perhaps the reason you've done it twice in the past and it not sticking is because you needed more help than you assumed to NOT go back to the bottle again. long term sobriety is a bitch and a half but i think you can do it.

 

What happened the first time is that they kinda cut me loose with no long-term plan. The second time, I wanted my hoarding addressed first and there was also my husband getting pissed at me because I wasn't taking care of him after I got home from daycare, but instead I would just lay on the couch and watch Netflix.

 

...no? We shouldn't have to crack the secret code to not get abused. This is a social forum, not Numberwang.

 

Ftr, I had a former roommate that his mom tried to stop her alcoholism on her own and literally a year ago cause of it. I remember his reaction when he got the call that his mom died. Not getting medical help to help end alcoholism CAN KILL YOU. Seek medical and professional help.

 

That's probably not going to happen, being as they're a mod and still have to perform modly duties, including but not limited to wiggling potentially egregious posts. I would suggest you just not mention Spock or refer to any of your interactions. I'm sure she will be more than happy to not have to pop over here every time you ping her.

Yeah, sounds like Ryn is right. You needed more help than you got. You need an actual out patient program and once you're getting through detox you need a therapist to start working with you right away. And your spouse can fuck off, you aren't his nanny. He's a big boy who can take care of himself and help SUPPORT you. You're SICK. You need help getting better He needs to understand that and actually HELP.

Honestly I'm not even sure why that got through? Was it the phrasing? Because we have been saying "you're literally too intoxicated to connect with reality" for several weeks now.

 

This is a bit disjointed and missing sentence elements I think? Unsure what is being said in the first half, agree with the latter.

 

Sorry, my brain moved faster than my fingers again. I’m saying she died as a cause of trying to quit her alcoholism on her own. Her body went into shock and I can’t remember the exact details, but they said it was result of her trying to stop drinking on her own. So I’m saying as a secondhand witness that’s a real danger.

 

Yeah about half a year ago my neighbor’s boyfriend had a fatal siezure like a day after trying to go cold turkey. It is so important to have help and medical attention through the proccess.

 

My maternal grandfather was a binge drinker rather than a constant drunk, but that killed him anyway. Grand mal seizure.

 

[citation needed]

 

@Athol Magarac pinging you for that apology now.

 

I must have gone to some shitty programs. Well, the one was just a holding facility, not rehab. Wouldn't let me have a book that I wanted to read, no one got to watch tv, nothing to really occupy time with if you didn't like jigsaws, just a lot of nothing.

The second place, I went to all of the groups and there were people who wanted permission to have downtime instead. I still did all of the jigsaws they had that were in my piece-count frustration threshold at least twice each, and that was with free access to the movie room.

Both times, they really didn't medicate me since I didn't feel I needed librium. The second place, I finally got their doc to write me a prescription for the ginger candy I brought. And what they were feeding me was contributing to making me sick. I loaded up the freezer on processed food mostly for hubby, I need the option of eating "safe" foods.

 

Edit: Oh, also in the second time, they were yelling at me to go to sleep, and they wouldn't let me have melatonin. It was either some heavy drug that I didn't want or nothing. (Just, the way I react to some cold pills, I didn't want to take an actual tranquilizer.)

 

Again, not going to work so well unless I get this place cleaned up. I just ran into someone else on reddit that had the same problem.

It was pretty expensive with military insurance.What's it like when insurance sucks? Otherwise, whether I want to go or not is a mute point.

 

can i ask why it's so important that you address the hoarding before getting sober enough to better effectively approach that therapy as well?

 

I can take a stab at answering part of that, tho Athol likely has other reasons and this may not match her experience

but basically part of what rehab needs to work and stick this time is for the patient to come back to a house w/o any alcohol. this is hard enough in a clean house, bc a lot of alcoholics have stashes of booze that are hidden away in places other than their liquor cabinet, but in a hoarder's house this can be all but impossible for anyone other than the alcoholic to find every place they've hidden alcohol

also, living in a hoarder's house can be depressing af, and can drive someone to drink or otherwise self-harm

basically it's a cyclical thing: this house is such a fucking mess I can't deal so I'll drink -> I can't clean bc drunk/hungover/feeling awful from my liver trying to tell me to stop drinking -> this house is such a fucking mess

personally I'd recommend that Athol find someone willing to clean the house completely while she's at rehab, but that's expensive and I got the impression from a few posts up that cost was a limiting factor here

eta the actual cycle that happens

 

It's the depressing AF thing. For a while it was clean the kitchen every day, sweep when it was still clean enough to sweep, not be able to deal with the rest of the mess satisfactorily enough to do something fun that didn't involve the computer... eventually it got to where I would just plop down in front of the computer and try not to look at anything.

I've had people come in to help, but I think it needs to be more aggressive. Or I need to get my husband involved more. When I was at my mom's house, I didn't have to ask my husband if I could get rid of something or worry about him being able to find it. Other than a suitcase full of broken Atari, the only thing that was left was a bunch of books that he didn't want anymore. The cleanout was me and my mom and there was very little there left that I want. (Volumetrically, it's probably about two carloads and I could probably get it down to one if I had to.) Her house was mostly filled with dead-people things and she was making most of the decisions. I could suggest getting rid of something and she was the one who's opinion mattered. Here, there's a lot more stuff that I want. And I have to ask to get rid of anything that isn't garbage, or worry about storing it so that I can remember where it is when he needs it. Plus he insisted on keeping both dinette sets, the recliner, and a huge filing cabinet. There was no room to move around for 6 months because of the way he let the movers put stuff anywhere they felt like.

 

Yeah, your spouse is being an active deterrent in your progress and also a spoiled man child. Throw shit out. If he doesn't want it thrown out HE needs to pick it up and find a place for it. HE needs to take care of HIS things. He's not a baby, and you aren't his mother.