my dog is going into surgery now to have her uterus removed, it turned out to be a really bad infection if anyone here who prays felt like sending one in my direction I could really use it right now
dog is ok!! may have further medical problems for the future but got out of surgery ok gonna get to see her tomorrow morning
it's cool how my brain thinks "being annoying" is the worst thing I could ever do to another person & interprets all vague social disinterest as that but also still get triggered by communication breakdowns and make things worse by hyperfixating on them. also can't control my tone of voice so no one ever believes I'm sincerely apologizing. great stuff!
basically accidentally triggered my spouse twice in 24 hrs. apologized & they're not upset w me but still feels pretty fucking bad. bc I know some of it is because of my shitty-ass impulse control & not thinking before i open my mouth. but also still socially oblivious enough that plenty of times thinking doesn't help bc I don't have the perspective to understand what I'm going to say is upsetting. would like to not have to hurt people first to figure that out.
realized my dad's been dead as long as I knew him alive now. and in a few years it'll be the same way with mom. for some reason that's hitting me kind of hard.
I wish my roommate wouldn't make comments on how much of something I eat. Like, I get she tries to word it in a positive way, like 'Wow, you ate almost the whole box of fudge rounds in a couple days. That's impressive/good job.' It still comes off as semi-condescending to me and I don't think there's even a NEED to comment on how much I eat. I know I eat a lot, I tend to have a larger appetite and will still be hungry right after eating and for hours after unless I eat more. I already was trying to hide how much I eat because I didn't want any possible judging comments, but after this one and saying 'Wow, that's a lot of waffles' When I was having breakfast one morning, now I don't want to eat around her at all.
I often find myself wanting to self-harm but I'm too afraid of pain, and then I think "What kind of loser can't even get that right?" I know it's irrational, but that doesn't stop me thinking it.
trisha paytas triggers me because i know that in some spaces she would be k*lled for this behavior and it just makes me fucking paranoid about violence and puts me in a violent mindset
LMFAO that's b-moc and mama dragon now you visually see the shit i deal with when i stand up to these people
got off work at 11:30 last night. foreman assured us many times we wouldn’t be working today because late night aside, it’s also raining. i wake up at 6 because i forgot to turn off my alarm, anxiety wont let me sleep again till i double check about today with the office, and would you fucking look at that, they want us in today after all and they’re just delaying the start by one fucking hour. i would not be upset if they hadn’t told us that we’d have today off. the person in charge of this site (not the foreman) has been stupidly inconsiderate of the flaggers’ time for months. we didn’t know we’d be working past 5:30 yesterday until the afternoon, for example, because he didn’t give accurate shift times and i guess never thought that some people need to catch the bus home. and on bad weather days he’ll have the flaggers show up and then just sit around for hours until he decides if they’re going to work that day or not. if he does that to us today, I will do nothing because i have a reputation as an excellent worker that i want to maintain, but i will be fucking pissed.
The hard part about trying to stay positive & loving towards myself & ignore negative self talk is that I have, in fact, actually done some monstrous, horrible things in my life. No exaggeration. So how do I not get stuck on that?
try to focus on the fact that you're aware it was bad and actively want to change instead of being in the old mindset. That's active progress.
mh. glad and sad that I didn't even need to read anything in this fic to know i would never enjoy it. tags kinda indicated it was a plot i would probably not like but i wanted to look to see if maybe they'd surprise me but at the mention of the one author i have blacklisted bc they are so much not my taste that i don't even want to see their fics i just. backed out. because it's going to go down paths and characterization i don't like. why does everyone hyperfixate on pre-event version of this character, and not even just that version, but like... a fanon eviler version of that version.
I don't even know what fandom this is, but I feel this so hard. Especially when the fandom makes sweeping 'If you like pre-event X, you're nasty!' despite us only getting like. A ten second preview of pre-event X where all that character says is that they're a huge fan of something and they fantasize about being a part of it. Like, you know, these fans do themselves.
it's baffling honestly. also the fuck. when it's literally just a ten second preview how the hell can you act like the character is horrible, esp when it's innocuous as that? Just what. i usually don't mind fannon much, but this drives me up the wall bc people act like we all must have the same version of this character in our heads...
can someone with more piercing experience than me confirm a little redness on the second day is normal because my brain says no (no pain, only a bit ouchy when I move the hoop to clean it, no discharge of any sort) but my mind is screaming infection
@anthers completely normal! it might persist for another day or two, the redness, but as long as there's no discharge, you clean it well, and there's no extreme pain for no reason, you're perfectly fine! eta source: I've had piercing infections and they're leagues above week-of redness and swelling. also i just got another piercing where it was red and swollen for like 3 days before it finally calmed down