Y'all have probably heard this one, but I love it so much. (Please watch the video as well, it makes an already-hilarious song even funnier!)
When I was fourteen, mom asked me to modify "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" to be a pagan song about the solstice. This is what I came up with:
that's much more impressive than my two randomly invented carol parodies, Away in a Bunker and While Sheperds Tugged Their Cocks By Night (oh and a second verse to the evergreen 'dashing through the snow, with a rusty razorblade')
lmao they're pretty short, okay. don't expect any of them to be good Spoiler: sex and violence [to the tune of Away in a Manger] Away in a bunker Not safe at all We're sitting and waiting for H-bombs to fall We'll be dead in an instant And fried in a flash And then Barclays Bank will retain all our cash (forgive this one I made it up years ago) [to the tune of While Shepherds Watched] While shepherds tugged their cocks by night All seated in a row An Angel of the Lord came down And had a cheeky blow [to the tune of Jingle Bells] (this first verse I didn't make up but heard thru the school grapevine; made up the second verse though) Dashing through the snow With a rusty razor blade Cutting off their toes Laughing all the way Over hills we go Leaving trails of red Oh how happy I can be When making people dead
Children Culture* in my area had a bunch of carol parodies and for a while I was trying to collect them xD My favorite Jingle Bells one : Dating through the snow, On a pair of skies. Over the hills we go, Crashing into trees! The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead... Rush me to the hospital And lay me on a bed! And for Deck the Halls : Deck the Halls with gasoline Falala...(etc) Light a match and watch it gleam Falala...(etc) Watch the school burn down to ashes Falala...(etc) Now you know not to play with matches Falala...(etc) I can't remember any of the others xD Edit: stupid phone typos lol *Or whatever the term is for that stuff that kids just seem to know without anyone saying anything