milk = love my name is lukas. i'm very pretty and i deserve to have a fortunate brain. please cast good spells on me. my bike got stolen yesterday and i'm still waiting for this guy on letgo to respond to sell me a new bike. i'm anxious about spending so much money but realistically, two people have bikes for less than the price of one person having one bike in many cases. i'm extremely privileged and lucky to live in a city with a deep bike hustle. however, i feel like when you think there's one more stair but there's not.
i think i know why people are shocked by me going in this journey it’s class people think that i’m from their class when i exhibit higher thinking but really i’m not, i’m learning this from a much lower position. i’m of the 0$ variety homeless people it’s a different journey for us to arrive at what the current emotional and social boundaries of the middle class are when i say that i sound smart. that’s a mistake on my part because i’m not leading people into a situation where they know what to expect. i’ve been building up this defense mechanism so i can be on the internet. but that was a mistake. the internet was not supposed to be for people like me until now i’m starting, not an old head
my language changed when i moved here. it changed to be more of the low class parlance that’s found around here. my emotional and mental boundaries adapted to it idk why i’m posting this good shit on here when i should be keeping you guys ignorant. that’s an example of a boundary that’s changing as i go on this journey. we keep our thoughts to ourselves in the bay area. i didn’t understand that for a while and it made me feel in pain because i’m a very communicative person
maybe i should accept the limitations of this body while i’m in this life. i’m never gonna be an athlete or a fighter and that makes me feel heavy and frustrated. my body won’t provide protection. it won’t let me experience freedom. it makes me feel awkward, small, and unbalanced. how do i accept that
i was really deluded when i first moved out here that i would suddenly jump to the middle class just because one middle class person was my friend. even if i had ruben when i came out here they still would have abandoned me, the process just would have been more slow and painful and due to “disappointment” and i wouldn’t get to have my own space. i wouldn’t even be conscious of the class differences
i was really excited to suddenly communicate my perspective to the middle class when i was out here. why did i do that? i’m poor. before i was patient and that’s how i found someone to listen. i share and relate to poor people.
this is more like a diary than a blog, in reality i’m just sitting here laying in bed because i’m scared to skate and be female. i have a lot of thoughts in my head, no friends because i didn’t want the pain or cross-class relationships
dsa needs to change completely... people have said things like that giving homeless people a safe space to camp “normalizes homelessness” and other just really dumb shit !
never trust someone who tries to make you accept a simplistic explanation of something so you can stop thinking about it
the way that people force change in my ideas by social exclusion and isolation. lol, you thought i didn’t notice it. you thought i was really that dumb because i talk the way you think i am. i was tricking you. you’re too classed to discuss sexism with. test failed
knowing a lot of stuff but not getting to talk about it makes you go crazy and delete stuff from your brain and the way that you talk about it is behind a paywall (college)
i wanna talk about the pressing problems in my life in a way that respects me and doesn’t lead me to a political place. trans tumblr completely fucked me up and then radfem tumblr just repeated the same shit after telling me they were different. people are shit!