Vent Back to your regularly scheduled wine&cheese tasting

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by winterykite, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    I sit here all alone, and know my loneliness comes from the fact that I ought to pay it back, help some other people for all that has been done for me

    But I'm just a black hole, all take and no give
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  2. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    -offers hugs and pets-
     
    • Like x 1
  3. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Can't even take a break from caring only about myself in hopes that someone I care for for 5 minutes because my own brain allots be about that much cares back. Hooray for being high maintenance, best in small doses, and that the nasty little voice in my head uses my voice but my cunt of a biomom's words against myself and everyone who'd come, because lbr here guilt tripping is shitty.
    But the brain weasels only leave that phrasing left.

    Would feel better if had more people that showed they cared: would require having the energy to be there for them myself: too depressed to do that

    This ride sucks and I want off of it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2018
    • Witnessed x 1
  4. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    thank you
     
    • Like x 1
  5. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    many many hugs :c
     
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  6. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    hi im kite and i spent 2 hours screaming about the new mystery skulls animated video, from 2am to 4am, and i am still screaming about it now that it's half past 1pm the next day and i have slept 6 whole hours
     
  7. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

  8. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    tfw you have some really cool minecraft and girl genius stuff you want to show your dad because you share those interests, but your dad is an entire arse who puts your moms everything before your mental health ::/
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  9. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    aaaaand my phone just went and broke. because i dont have enough problems right now.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  10. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    BLESS @IvyLB THEY TOLD ME EXACTLY WHICH PILE OF PAPER I NEEDED TO CHECK AGAIN TO FIND MY RECEIPT FFFF yeah
     
    • Winner x 2
  11. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    feeling the despair today

    the thing i have a degree for has many applicants for few positions and takes MONTHS to process applications
    the thing i have somewhat enough knowledge to bullshit & learn the rest im having more and more trouble staying focused on. ive started to hate code.

    everything else:
    1) needs other degrees / qualifications i dont have
    2) requires sensory processing i can't deliver
    3) won't take me

    i dont know what im doing wrong

    i shouldve been sending out applications for the past 2 years but my brain wouldnt let me. i just freeze up whenever i *think* about looking at job postings

    aka: i got a "nope we decided against employing you" message today
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  12. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    I'm sorry :c
     
  13. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    TFW you look forward to eating breakfast but you botch your dex roll and spill the entire bowl all over the floor.

    Which, thanks to executive dysfunction, is *not* clean enough to eat off of.

    Uuuugh I was looking forward to my leftover stroganoff ::<
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  14. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    Blergh. Had another narcoleptic attack, even though I had enough sleep last night. Three-ish hours I wanna say? No disorientation, but my spoons are gone. Can't even bring myself to move mostly.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  15. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    of course the day i gotta stand up early because a guest arrives early is the day my sleepy meds decide not to work and i lie awake for hours

    we scrubbed his old place today, my feet hurt and i cant lean on my left hand atm or the wrist acts up. but at least the vast majority of work is done
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  16. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    i hate knowing that i had yet another dream in which i was back at my parent's place and kept forgetting to procure a connection back home to berlin, but.
    im also glad it was just a dream and is over and im home in my own bed.

    even if it is 5am.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  17. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    i keep having dreams in which im stuck back at my parents' place, night after night.
    starting to be sick of those.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  18. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    I´m sorry, those sound sucky
     
  19. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    also it looks like the issue with my laundry machine isnt as fixed as i thought it was. from the looks of it, it appears the pump is busted. so i either need to get a new pump and install that, or a new laundry machine.

    and by "new" i mean "buy used" because i aint shelling out 500 bucks for a new one.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  20. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    it took 9 damn hours for the pulsing in my ears to die down.
    im typing this at 5am.

    i was unable to sleep, and i am not happy.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
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