Terrible original/published fiction?

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by ChelG, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Acquaintance's description of Battlefield Earth included mention of the "aliens with bones for eyelids and lips, because nothing except the book itself can properly get bent". I'm gonna be giggling all day.
     
    • Winner x 4
  2. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I propose that all books should be proofread by, as well as professional editors, a twelve-year-old boy, so that we do not get lines like the one in this book I'm reviewing where a guy complains about having to run instead of ride his horse because "I missed the power of a large beast between my legs". Seriously, HOW can you miss the problem with that?
     
    • Witnessed x 3
    • Winner x 2
  3. bornofthesea670

    bornofthesea670 Well-Known Member

    I disagree with those witnesses, that is a delightful line to run into.
     
    • Like x 4
    • Agree x 3
  4. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Another case where the issue could have been solved by a teenage beta: author is under the impression that a camgirl and a vlogger are the same thing. Uh, nope.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  5. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Completely baffling worldbuilding in an urban fantasy thing only made my annoyance at the author calling male merfolk "mermaids" even worse: the names of monster species were derived from the surnames of the families chosen as their rulers, including "Larry and Ted Mermaid". Where did the words come from to be people's surnames, then, and why do the merfolk royals sound like the leads of a bad buddy comedy?

    ETA: One character's name is "Lupe Shifter". He's a werebear. I'm not sure if the author was trying to be funny or not. Kind of reminiscent of the Three-Ring Binder stories which once featured a gardener named Mr Lawyer...
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2021
    • Witnessed x 1
  6. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Characters we are supposed to take seriously whose first names are Idol and Manchester. Did the author just open a dictionary at random?
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  7. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Also, the characters on both sides go out of their way to not actually kill anyone, for no real reason.
     
  8. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Author cannot decide whether important piece of characters' family history took place in the 1400s or the 1600s, and I have the horrible feeling she's not aware there was any major difference between the two.
     
    • Witnessed x 5
  9. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Regarding the book with the unfortunate horseriding description above, I decided to add a "Bestiality Yay" count for my Das Sporking review of it. Unfortunate descriptions of the characters' interactions with animals have cropped up four or five times now, and the leads seem to have more chemistry with the dogs and the horse than with each other.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  10. bornofthesea670

    bornofthesea670 Well-Known Member

    This doesn't really belong here but I just saw an ad that had the tagline "City girl and the wild man" but I thought it said "wild mom" and now im upset there isn't a comic about a girl getting lost in the jungle/back in time and falling in love with a Big amazonian woman with wild hair and a cute kid
     
    • Agree x 3
    • Witnessed x 1
  11. bornofthesea670

    bornofthesea670 Well-Known Member

    I guess Tiger Queen (Digress Queen?) Kind of counts but the other lead is male. Or if you want a slow burn you can look into Tiger Tiger

    Both webcomic

    Neither have gotten to the really romantic parts yet HOWEVER Tiger Queen has very good characterization and also everyone is very good looking. And the leads are trying to agree to a political marriage between them but STILL it's less "wooing the wild woman" and more trying to come to terms with a war that probably didn't need to happen and very negatively effected her people and she's an incredible leader so now the war is effecting their kingdom even more negatively AND ITS KIND OF COMPLEX and we don't have solid proof the leads will actually end up together BUT I LIKE THEIR CHEMISTRY

    Tiger Tiger is not anywhere near romance between the main couple but that is because Luck is an eldrich god/abomination and hasnt gotten around to asking our main girl out because she's busy being intimidating

    They're both very good though. Im bad at describing because I haven't read them in a bit. I like to wait a few weeks/months between webcomic binges to let the updates stack up.
     
    • Like x 2
  12. KarrinBlue

    KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

    It's Tigress Queen, yeah. And I think it's pretty much a given that they'll end up together? Especially taking into account all the shippy official art and the title text comments and so on.
     
    • Informative x 2
  13. devils-avocado

    devils-avocado tired and gay

    ok but I love the specific overlap and non-overlap between those two things

    camworker at a normie event: 'oh yeah, I'm a... vlogger'
    a normie: oh cool what're your vlogs like?
    camworker: uhhhhhh naked I vlog myself jackin it it follows my dayjob as a... spreadsheets... filler
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Like x 1
  14. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Alas, the confusion in this case wasn't in that direction - the late-thirties-ish-aged protagonist kept saying she'd been a "camgirl" as a teenager, and it took me a while to figure out why she seemed so open about that.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  15. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    I have avoided this problem by making my 'mermaids' hermaphrodites.
     
    • Winner x 3
    • Like x 1
  16. devils-avocado

    devils-avocado tired and gay

    one of my fave sci-fi worldbuilding details was a monosexual race being described by other races as 'women', bc they could be sexually exploited, and the race in question having a derisive hatred of multi-sexed species for this among other reasons
     
    • Like x 1
  17. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    That makes some sense as a thing, though I have bad news about sexual exploitation with sufficient determination...

    The Ean would tend to have some strong opinions about being identified as 'women', if A: They felt like being super truthful about that, and B: didn't have their own stuff going on.

    But I/we digress.
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Like x 1
  18. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
    • Witnessed x 2
  19. Emma

    Emma Your resident resident

    I'm not sure if it's incel shit per se, but it is at the very least highly annoying. Does remind me of Ferengi, though :P
     
    • Agree x 2
  20. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    Please. Please stop with all the epithets. It's okay only if A: The viewpoint character doesn't know their name.
    B: You're really getting into it, like full Edda level of epithet, because that's hilariawesome.
     
    • Agree x 3
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