sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

I noticed a theme of "opposites" with troll powers; Vriska can control people, Tavros can control animals. Depending on how the theme works, if it was intentional, it's possible a brownblood could control anything living that isn't a person, so they could possibly also control/speak to plants.

 

I think Porrim's tattoos are actually henna. She entered SGrub as a child, tattooing oneself is hard, and if I was her I would not trust anyone else in that session to tattoo MY boobs.

 

the Pokemon Legends: Arceus protagonist did not have any significant experience catching, raising, or battling pokemon prior to coming to Hisui, and their alleged proficiency at it is 100% the setting/genre equivalent of someone with a wikipedia-level understanding of medicine being sent back to the 1700's and giving better medical advice than half the practicing doctors simply because they know that Germ Theory is Real, Laudanum is Bad For You, and Fruit Prevents Scurvy

 

Concrete Blonde's "Woman to Woman" is Jolene's response to the girl who was singing at her.

 

Trolls are noted to be named based on lusus noises, so they probably have no concept of a gender-specific name, and they couldn't identify human ones if they did. RPGs being "GAMES FOR GIRLS" and romcoms being "movies for girls" implies that girl trolls are the ones associated with strategy, scheming, and complexity (troll romcoms being horribly complicated with the quadrants thing). Thus, a troll hearing about Dirk's role in the alpha kids' shenanigans might assume he was a girl until told otherwise.

 

The real reason Arceus sent the PLA protagonist back in time in their jammies is because if they'd been wearing anything with a zipper there's a non-trivial chance it would have fucked up the timeline

 

every pokemon trainer who canonically uses Crustle has 100% heard "The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!" and related jokes a MILLION fucking times already, and if they hear it again there is a roughly 50% chance they're going to smack you. the other 50% still improbably think the joke is still kinda funny and in all likelihood caught it specifically to facilitate those jokes

 

Luke Skywalker eats bugs because he grew up on Tatooine. Leia Organa eats bugs because she isn't about to let her baby brother try to gross her out.

 

The reason why nobody else figures out the shrine hint songs in BotW is that they're really, really, really old. Link gets some flashes of the memories and skills of previous heroes of Courage - including some language skills - and so can understand them but they're basically riddles in Old English

 

At the end of Mrs Doubtfire, Daniel sometimes still dresses up as Mrs Doubtfire because it feels right, and fun, and the kids love her just as much as their dad

 

My bet for A. Claire's classpect is Rogue of Light.

 

I see everyone's angsty "Emmet only discovers what happened to Ingo when he discovered his picture in a history book" headcanons and raise you "Ingo's face never actually appears in any printed texts because Ingo is the least photographable man in Hisui. He flatly refuses to sit for portraits and every time we try to take a candid or a group shot that has him in it he's being utterly Mike Wazowski'd by pesky branches, glare from the sun, photobombing pokemon, etc. even if the photographer is a professional who usually doesn't make these kinds of mistakes. We've tried to get him into the studio where there's at least a controlled environment but he always says he's "too busy." Either he's so preternaturally camera-shy that he can warp the laws of reality around him or there's some kind of Divine Agenda keeping us from getting any identifiable pictures of him."

(this headcanon was brought to you by: "At no point since the game came out have I actually gotten Ingo into the photo studio despite having gotten everyone ELSE at least once and most of them at least twice. Ingo, what the FUCK")

 

team rocket thought: as well as the other TRio role speculation in this thread (stresstesting robots, loss prevention/professional superheroes), they seem to also possibly be scouting out regions a bit, messing with rival organizations, and doing insurance fraud with those giant robots. They've done onscreen insurance fraud with a blimp on Giovanni's orders before.

unrelated hermitcraft HC:

the hermits arent in-universe living off of only pumpkin pies or golden carrots or w/e. those are usually just their work-snacks.

given the range of species there, new members generally have to get used to something they consider odd, lethal, or didn't realize was physically possible for anyone to do.

sometimes this makes it into a video like the infamous "welsknight eating a diamond shovel" incident

 

lots of grass-type pokemon besides Sawsbuck go through a seasonal deciduous foliage cycle where their leaves and petals will drop off, and then they'll have a hilarious period of looking sad and bald before regrowing their foliage in spring. for this reason a lot of "stationary" grass-type specialists (gym leaders, etc.) will keep greenhouses for the primary purpose of keeping their plant pokemon at optimal bloom and therefore battling ability at all times of year. the naturally-shed petals produced by Meganium are also a common addition to various tea blends.

 

in other new I don't have any proof that TF2 and Crash Bandicoot take place in the same bizarro-world version of Australia, but it would be extremely funny to me if they did.

 

Link is actually trying to invoke the name of the Goddess but he thinks it's spelled with two Ls and he has a strong Spanish accent.

 

in pokemon, most regions have a regulation that pokeballs have a warning whistle equipped that is triggered when the ball activates, to alert anyone nearby that a pokemon battle is starting in the vicinity and they might need to dodge a stray Solar Beam or something. the whistle sounds like the rapid descending scales at the start of the classic pokemon battle theme.

(Galar and Paldea don't require the whistle, because their battle themes are the only ones with nothing resembling the classic theme intro)

 

*Pokes head in*

Well, I might as well try and volunteer some headcanons while I'm recovering from writer's block for my Laurie Lives series (which I've kind of come to see as like...my series has gone into batshit insane mode, but it's my batshit insane. It's kind of my comfort series for when things aren't going well). Off the top of my head:

-When he's not in murder mode, Michael Myers is terrible at drawing things (as proven by his rather childish drawing in the original Halloween II), and cannot use a microwave to save his life. (The last one was inspired by the Laurie/Michael fanfic Kitchen Nightmares, and I think it works because it's less of the men-can't-cook stereotype and more like something that's completely logical given one, um, rather disturbing off-screen implication in the first movie) He also tends to mildly mix up "Myers" and "Meyers" (and the last bit was inspired by a promotional still for Halloween 4 with, of all things, a written letter by Michael himself basically apologizing for being absent from Halloween 3 and promising to come to the party -- read: Halloween 4 -- soon. Which, yeah, he may be purely and simply evil, but he's bizarrely polite when he apologizes for missing a Halloween party. /joking) when spelling his last name.

And if you want proof that I'm not making this up: https://www.reddit.com/r/Halloweenmovies/comments/nb8m4c/the_original_halloween_4_promo_poster/

Also, thanks to one user's comment in that thread about Michael's handwriting being terrible, I'm starting to think that he pretty much kind of has issues having handwriting that isn't either chickenscratch when he's not, say, writing SAMHAIN in blood on a chalkboard.

-Before the 1978 murders, Laurie, Annie and Lynda managed to actually see the original Star Wars in theaters. Annie and Paul and Lynda and Bob went along for a double date sort of thing, Laurie was the supportive third wheel-ish thing, and despite having some disagreements here and there, they had a pretty good time together. It's still one of Laurie's fond memories.

-Laurie actually has perfect pitch for a singer, and Jamie Lloyd herself kind of has it too. (This is a little bit of an allusion regarding Jamie about how Danielle Harris, her actress, actually got to do a bit of singing herself in another movie of hers, Stake Land, and she's actually quite good at it) That, of course, being a Myers family trait. (Hell, believe it or not, I think in the Chaos Comics that were originally supposed to tie 4-6 to H20 before getting retconned by Resurrection, apparently Michael himself actually sang in the school choir when he was a kid. That was obviously before he ended up...not really talking much)

-Regarding his dynamic with Laurie and Jamie, I wouldn't go so far as to say that Michael loves them both (I think if anything, he does see them as interesting kindred spirits and worthy adversaries, but love's not really a thing that comes to mind), but I think he would actually feel a strange sense of loss that he wouldn't be able to understand if he actually succeeded in killing them. And I think that Jamie, at least, would feel the same about him, acknowledging that he was an evil spree killer, but at the same time, she wishes she got to know the better side of her uncle (for lack of a better word).

-Laurie not only babysat Rachel Carruthers when Rachel was still a kid, but also babysat Rachel's other friends and people she at least knew personally, so they all at least had some sort of passing experience with Laurie, whether or not they knew her well.

-Even though they never really got brought up in the Blumhouse continuity, I still headcanon that Karen Nelson (nee Strode) was adopted by the Carruthers family after being taken away by CPS, that Rachel Carruthers acted as Karen's adoptive older sister and whether or not they're still in touch, the Carruthers also ended up being the Nelson family's in-laws and Rachel ended up being the awesome aunt to Allyson. And given that they never explicitly said Jamie Lloyd was never born in the Blumhouse continuity, I think that Jamie is still alive but just lives in another part of town. (And she and Billy Hill from 5 are around Karen and Ray's age as well as married, and raising Jamie's son Steven) (It may sound implausible, and I haven't really seen Halloween Kills or Halloween Ends -- let's just say that a lot of what I heard about Kills and Ends both was just like, "Okay, I'm glad that Laurie gets a break in Ends after all she's endured, but everything about those movies just sounds like a deeply unpleasant experience that pushes all of my buttons." -- so my headcanon might contradict the last two movies. Hope nobody minds)

-Regarding Steven Lloyd's original name before Tommy found him, Jamie was thinking of naming him Brady as a tribute to Rachel's boyfriend who, for all his faults, gave his life to protect her and Rachel, as well as a giant middle finger to the Cult of Thorn at large.

-In a similar vein, if Jamie ever had a daughter, she would name her Rachel, after Rachel Carruthers. And she would pretty much hope that Rachel Lloyd would have a better life than she had. Same with Steven.

-After driving away from Haddonfield in the Producer's Cut, Tommy, Kara and company had to at least make sure they survived. During that time, Tommy told Kara about his experiences working at the drug store with Kelly Meeker, Wade and Brady, what they were like, even making Kara laugh a few times with certain stories, and Kara in turn told Tommy about Tim Strode and what a wonderful uncle he was to Danny, as well as what Beth, her best friend, was like. And it turns out that one of the reasons of many that Tommy got into the idea of taking Michael down for good that he didn't really tell anyone but Lindsay Wallace was making sure Brady got avenged, as well as Rachel and Jamie.

-In that vein, Tommy doing his best to parent Steven, Kara being more of a cool aunt, and Steven basically growing up learning about how what a badass his mother was, and hoping he can live up to her legacy. Steven also learning how many people were willing to protect him, and getting the same lesson his mother did years prior: a survivor in the horror-verse, despite the idea of "final" survivors, is never truly alone. Even Jamie had people who loved her and would do anything to protect her.

-Lindsay Wallace got another dog, and she named her Annie, after her old babysitter. Somewhere in the afterlife, Annie Brackett ends up actually finding that funny.

-Regarding Tina and Jamie's first meeting, Rachel actually being worried that Tina would think the worst of Jamie. That pretty much being made null and void thanks to Tina Squeeing over how cute Jamie is. Tensions were instantly diffused. When the same happened when Samantha visited the children's clinic (something I didn't think of if not for the fact that TV Tropes did mention that apparently Samantha did occasionally go to visit the children's clinic), just sort of cooing over how adorable Jamie is (I mean, even another neighbor handing out candy in 4 called Jamie an "adorable little clown", and, well...that's just the truth: https://www.themarysue.com/wp-conte...Return-of-Michael-Myers-1988.jpg?fit=1200,674), Rachel was able to relax a little bit.

-For all Tina's faults, one reason that Rachel likes her is that not only does she make Jamie smile, but Tina's one of the few people besides Loomis and Jamie who seems to actually worry about her well-being.

-For all Loomis' faults in 5, I still maintain that stuff like him trying to comfort Rachel after Jamie gets a rock thrown through her window and even trying to suggest that she doesn't have to feel guilty about leaving the clinic (even saying, "There's nothing wrong with being afraid", which...well, I've kind of been using myself just to maintain my sanity right now. Like, for all Loomis' faults, he's right: there is nothing wrong with being afraid) is a subtle sign that the old Loomis is still in there, even if Loomis himself is not doing okay.

-In a similar vein, I think that Loomis being more mellow in 6 was him having some time to reflect and do not only some physical but psychological healing, like 5 was just him hitting rock bottom and 6 was his mental health recovery arc as well as redemption arc. His manner's softened quite a lot over 6 years. It's kind of like the inverse of Luke in The Last Jedi here, where instead of getting worse, Loomis actually gets healthier mentally and becomes kinder as a result. And he does regret how things ultimately ended with Jamie, Rachel and Tina, so he's made a mental promise to never become that kind of man he nearly became in 5.

-On a bit of a sillier note for Loomis, I kind of also headcanon that one thing he's never revealed about himself is that he definitely knows his share of British cuss words (given that Donald Pleasence was British, Loomis would probably know some pretty inventive cuss words that are uniquely British). He just saves them for strictly inside his head with no repercussions.

-More of a slightly darkly comedic headcanon, but I like to think that Michael, when going through Jamie's shoebox of photos in 4 and finding the photograph of six year old him dressed up for Halloween 1963 before things went wrong, did a double-take when seeing the photo and thought, "Where did she get that, and who would be completely out of their mind enough to let my seven year old niece keep that?" (It's an effective scene, but I still wonder why in God's name anyone would let Michael Myers' niece keep a photo of her future archenemy) Basically, kind of the equivalent of Michael.exe suffering a critical error and needing to close. (We apologize for the inconvenience)

That's all I can think of, for the moment. Should say this is my first post in this thread, so hopefully I don't screw this up.