Vent a screeching bird

Can confirm that I sent Bird to bed

But @Birdy thank you, Bird please listen to your Birdy compatriots

 

I did, in fact, go to sleep. Everyone's support filled me with determination. <3

Now to catch up

 

man it's weird being the most recent vent thread

anyway here are my vents for today:

coding? still sucks

I don't know why but the sound of my sister's voice makes me want to claw my ears off.

mum keeps watchin trashy wedding dress shows and it's making me want to get married :( but I have no money and mushroom and I currently live on opposite sides of the world.

 

This is now just my personal thread


i have an interview at f***b****r (don't want them to be able to google this lmao) oh my god you guys this could actually happen??????

 

Spoiler: tmi

if i could just swap out my entire gastrointestinal system for a new one that'd be juuuuuuuuuuuuust swell

 

Spoiler: bad opinions go in spoilers

it has gotten to the point where any time anyone unironically uses the word 'transmisogyny' i roll my eyes. not because i don't think trans women get shat on, but because i've seen it used so often as a means of shitting on trans men. especially, like, 'you don't have it as hard!' fuck you, seriously. seriously. we should be in this together, or at the very least, we shouldn't be tearing each other down.

Spoiler: even worse opinions go in nested spoilers

seriously at idea that trans women have it worse anyway. their struggle is more visible, sure, but...

 

This should maybe be in XX/XY but w/e it's my thread and I'll vent about sexuality if I want to

Spoiler: nsfw

So, things keep coming up about the correct use of labels, which ngl always makes me super uncomfy bc...I honestly don't know how to label myself. But I do like talking about myself, so, here we go.
There are some things that make this really complicated. Number 1 is the fact that I am in an extremely committed relationship. To the point where even having sex dreams about someone who isn't her makes me extremely distressed, and I flat-out can't imagine myself in a romantic relationship with someone else. We got together when we were both 15, and I frankly don't think I'd ever be bothered to form a relationship with someone else if this one ended. So, the question of 'who am I attracted to?' is pretty much impossible for me to answer, because I can't imagine being with anyone but her. I know I find men aesthetically pleasing, but I definitely can't imagine being in a relationship with one...because I only want to be with Mushroom. You see my issue.
Number 2 is that I'm basically, functionally, asexual. This is a dysphoria/depression meds 2x combo, probably. I'm not sure if that overrides sexuality labels. I really hate ace discourse, though.
Number 3 is that because I'm transgender, I don't really know if I'm attracted to men so much as I want to look like them.
Number 4 is related, in that the label 'lesbian' was really important to me in eggmode, and 'gay', as a slur, is really important for me as a reclamatory label. I'm not interested in calling myself bi- or pan-, because it feels inaccurate and also irrelevant. If I'm only really attracted to one person, does it matter?
And number 5 is that Mushroom isn't even sure of her own gender, so is there a word for 'person who is only (romantically) attracted to a NB person'? And again, does it matter if it only applies to one person anyway?

So I'm...asexual, but also pansexual? And heteroromantic? But I'm not interested in any of that. I'm gay. That's what feels true.

 

Mushroomsexual

 

why do you do this to me, an innocent bird,

 

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

i dont know if that went well or not,,,,,,,,,pls kill me (not really but i am an Anxiety)

 

KICKS DOWN A DOOR

I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT

I'M WORKING AT FAILBETTER! (AS AN INTERN!)

 

Party hats for all!!

 

And now to CELEBRATE

Spoiler: Party gifs

 

THAT IS SO COOL, CONGRATULATIONS!!! :D

 

HOORAY!!! CONGRATS

 

*rubs temples*

chrissakes, people.

Spoiler: i really do not want to debate about this thx

i don't particularly have a stake in this argument, but wow people sure are mad about two posts, liked by a handful of people, about said handful of people refusing to interact with someone. i wonder if the reaction would have been the same if, say, i had said it. i sincerely doubt it.

 

i will not post i will not post i will not post i will not

 

but i WILL go around and like things like the lurky creep i am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

i would like to officially state my appreciation for everyone who likes these posts. y'all are great and make me feel validated.

content: of all the things in the world that could set off my misophonia, why did it have to be my little sister's voice. ahhhhhhhhhhh.

also i am tired and sore in my bones. :c

edit: but in good news, i successfully Held A Conversation with someone, and i supported some other people too last night, so i'm feeling pretty happy. i care about this place, and i want to do more to support the people in it.