trying not to spiral bc I told myself I wouldn't be late AGAIN this weekend, I'd get up and leave early enough to make up for transit delays, and I almost did but it turns out they changed the setup to make it even LONGER so I would have been just on time for the previous setup. except once again going to be 20 mins late. I fucking. hate this. so much. I just want to scream. it looks like I'm not trying and I AM. IM TRYING SO FUCKING HARD. this has been four weeks in a row and I'm ready to take a fucking cab to work on Saturdays even though it costs more than I make in an hour. ofc by the time i realize I'm going to be late a cab can't actually help. it's like. have to grab train for a couple stops. get off. wait for bus. bus takes 5 years. get off bus. wait for train to take me ONE STOP but they only have a train every 15 mins and that's roughly the time it would take to walk to work from there. time is already hard and I have so much difficulty factoring in wait times especially when there's no schedule for them. I hate this. I hate it so much. even if I wanted to drive and park it's like $50 at minimum per day lolololol fuck this so much. and ofc they're running SINGLE CAR TRAINS on a Saturday w transit backed up so edit: cool nearly had a panic attack having to shove myself onto a train like a sardine bc i couldn't afford to be even later to work I guess I'm terrified of crowds now. good to know.