aki's flailing at the world thread

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by Akiv'a, May 13, 2016.

  1. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Its been 5000 years since I've used this thread, but I think I'll use it to keep track of medical shit that needs to be remembered-- also so @Enzel can add things to it as it comes up.
    I have managed to move out since my last post thankfriggin. One goal accomplished. Goal 2: I've also been diagnosed with the Autisms. Hilariously, to me, I was diagnosed during Autism Awareness Acceptance Month. End of August riiight before moving I started having my usual pain cranked up 10x. It has not really gotten better.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2017
  2. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Lists Galore

    Shall be updated sometime

    ○ Ask Mass Rehab person about service doggos/ssi
    ○ Ask Dr for the referral to the gastro when liver tests are back
    ○ Whine at Dr about hypermobility issues/radiologist mentioned fibro
    ○ Ask Dr when he's done with gastro/liver stuff about a referral to geneticist
    ○ Look at different Health Care plans
    ○ Art for AANE art show/Holidays
    ○ Work out commission info
    ○ Fix up muh portfolio site
    ○ More driving flashcards/Online tests

    yeah will pick at this
    • Apparently I have myopia and actually need glasses
    • Spent my whole life thinking I wasn't, but apparently I am hypermobile.
    • My regular 'normal' temp is around 98.5 but since 10/14 (to my knowledge, aka recording it) it has been consistently above 99.4 (not a fever but definitely not normal for me)
    • Stress pushes my temp to over 100 pretty easily, usually accompanied by a bad headache
    • I've had bad headaches/migraines since at least 7th grade (13 years old), often accompanied by elevated temps/fevers


     
  3. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Wow I have not posted in this thread for like a year and a half. WHOOBOY.

    So, my health insurance got deactivated a few days before my next slew of doctors appointments, so I had to figure out how much everything was going to cost out of pocket until I can send those bills into be reimbursed. Turns out that I just have to redo the application process after sending in proof of residence. So that ended up being an easy fix at least, but a longer process. Still can't figure out if I need to get a new plan altogether, or if I can get my old plan (Community Care Cooperative) back. The lady on the phone told me C3 changed their name AGAIN this year, for the billionth time. It's so confusing. All I can definitively say about this whole experience is trying to figure out how much everything is going to cost out of pocket is the HARDEST most RUNAROUND thing for some reason, so I had to run to The Mom for financial security just in case I can't fix this billing thing in time. At least she's okay with helping out in a pinch this time.

    This is extra annoying because my health is SHIT and has been getting worse in the past two years. I have Ehler's Danlos Syndrom and some of the 'fun' comorbidities that come with it. -_- And my liver is a hecking MESS. I can only hope its getting better. Also an eating disorder that no one but one of my friends/spouse want to help me with. It's so hard to get doctors to take you seriously when you already know what's wrong -_-.

    I should feel proud for successfully calling all these palces today because I am horrible with phone calls because they make me nervous and I need a (somewhat loose) script for talking on the phone and auditory processessing issues make it even worse, but all I feel is drained and annoyed and its only 2pm. >_<

    I need to make a new list of things to get done other than that, again. But first lunch. Food is hard and I miss having the space to cook :'(
     
  4. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    AHHHHHHHHHH

    Me: *calls health insurance rep at local hospital for advice on The Situation*
    Her at 3:15pm: can you get here by 4pm i got you a cancellation appointment.
    Me: I CAN TRY
    Me: *makes a 15 minute walk in 6 minutes and catches train that literally just pulled into the station*
    Me at 3:40pm: *in the hospital building* HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THAT ITS USUALLY AN HOUR LONG TRIP

    Also me: i forgot to take my asthma meds
     
  5. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Now to wait for the actual appointment to start.

    /jeopardytune.mp3
     
  6. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    This rep is telling me this crap is happening to everyone jfc

    She cant even find me in the system

    What the fresh hell America
     
  7. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Adulting is nerve-wracking, especially at work. I just want to scream my way through life right now holy shit. I have been told I can get more hours which is great! But also, terrifying, because people are giving me huge organizational projects to design etc, so that people can keep adding to them over the years etc. Coming up with a framework for things is terrifying when literally everyone around you IS VAGUE AS SHIT about what they want, so I just flail my arms around and throw together something that makes sense to ME I GUESS??? and then hope I understood them correctly. Seems I got it right this time, thank heck /sweats.

    I'm hoping they're working towards offering me a full time job? Salary would be best jfc because i cannot motivate myself based on just hours. Never was able to. Would skip out on important appointments and classes in high school/uni because I'd always find SOME excuse to tell myself that it was okay to skip this time, and then all the skips would tally up and then I'd be in some deep shit. With a salary i'd feel way more obligated to work, even if i dont get paid overtime, just because financial stability will keep me a l i v e. Also with full time I'd be able to get a laptop and work from home if needed, which would fantastic because disability likes to punch me occasionally.

    Also I work pretty fast, so chances are unpaid overtime is just... not gonna happen hella often.

    Dear god i just want to be home and drawing/napping. :\

    Also my health insurance bullcrap is still a pile of bullcrap. I hav eto wait til wednesday to caaaaall them again. At least I got my application stamped with 'medical priority'. Hopefully THAT does something.
     
  8. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Got the full time job!!! Bosses are just figuring out when I can start full time. It's a load off honestly. Gonna have to read all the health insurance options VERY CAREFULLY before picking one. Gonna get some Subway on the way home, relax, maybe nap and then work on my progress in ffxiv and do some art. AHHHH good mood.

    Health insurance also got fixed *_*
     
    • Winner x 1
  9. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Sometimes self care is spending 285$ on art supplies as a pat on your own back for a job well done lol. /lies on floor
     
  10. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    God I need a new To Do List:

    • Work on Commission Info
    • Fix up my websites
    • Study for driving test
    • Look for apartments
    • Finish getting all characters through Meridianum/Praetorium in ffxiv
    • Make levekits and finish gearing up for Shadowbringers
    • Make art Aki you lazy butthole
    • Type up symptoms and related crap for Disability advocate lawyer
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
  11. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Dear GOD . I work in an office setting, where there are cubicles. So everything that happens, you know about it. And there's this coworker I have that has this awful chortling nervous sounding laugh that just pisses me off and sets off my sensory issues sand makes me want to scream. X_X She laughs at literally everything, even if its not meant to make her laugh. I just want her to shut up, but she's a likeable person so everyone's trying to make her laugh. I want to stab a knife into my ears. Kill me. Maybe I should ask for an office or something idk. Don't feel important enough for that, but they might listen because I'm autistic, and they hired me specifically because of that. So, we'll see. Gonna wait til I've started fulltime.

    In general everyone needs to shut up in this office. This is work, not social hour every hour. Good lord.
     
  12. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Trying to get the surveys I need to upload to the database done, but Boss Lady came up to me and was like 'how far are you on this other project i gave you' and im sitting here like ITS GOING VERY SLOWLY. BECAUSE I STILL DONT HAVE THE EXTRA HOURS I NEED TO WORK ON IT properly cryyyyy

    Please Boss Lady, tell me when i can start fulltime and how much im making ;___; cuz then I'll do your project
     
  13. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    I'm going to scream, I have so much to do at work today. Going to challenge myself to get all these surveys done and then try to work on boss lady's project. If I finish that I'll fold return envelopes and chill. Save me.

    1. Input left over surveys
    2. Boss lady's project
    3. Input todays surveys
    4. fold envelopes and watch netflix because autistic-at-work privileges I managed to get.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2019
  14. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    I'm going to scream, my boss still hasn't told me when i start full time or what I make. Which kind of fucking sucks because there's a lot of crap happening rn, both healthwise/apartmentwise that I really need to stay on top of. A salary would really freaking help. -_-
     
  15. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Ok, starting full time next week or the week after, whichever one I want apparently. I hope we get the apartment we applied for, so far so good it seems. Talked to the realtor again and he's just going to run credit checks and call our landlord for references. I hope she doesn't say anything terrible about us, because there'd be no reason for it-- but I always worry because she's not the brightest bulb in the box. >_<

    Other than that, I'm almost done with the tasks I have at work today, and I can probably do some writing which I've been dying to do recently. aaaaa.
     
  16. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    I am hella worried about working full time. I really want and need the money but I'm worried my body is going to fall apart and that my mental health will crash :\
     
  17. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Took all 13 of my free sick hours for next week. I get to have a mental health vacation with a side of ffxiv shadowbringers whether I like it or not now... Hopefully it'll prepare me for the pain that is a 40 hour work week @_@
     
  18. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    Turns out I might have to look for a new job ANYWAY because they won't pay me a living wage here :') which is infuriating because my company likes to describe themselves as 'serving and championing disabled people' and I'm the only disabled person here and they are making me work 40 hours a week (hell on my body) for basically minimum wage. Which is nothing when it comes to living anywhere NEAR the city my workplace is in. I can't drive, not that I even would because parking is a fortune here, and I need to be able to walk to work from the public transportation I'm taking. :|
     
  19. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    I essentially said that if they won't pay me at least 30k a year, I am out of here. And guess what they're grossly under? rofl. Glad to know the people here don't actually care about the people they're serving.
     
  20. Akiv'a

    Akiv'a ♛ Nyastronaut & Allagan Technyalogist

    My job is data entry for this company, which means I input all of the survey responses we get and literally 80% of them complain about how little the workers for the company are paid, so they leave and it becomes a revolving door for employees that couldn't give less of a shit about the disabled people they're supposed to be taking care of. Which stresses the disabled clients out because there's literally no consistency and plenty of the employees are nasty and sometime abusive towards them. It's horrifying reading all these comments, because realizing disabled people are just business to so many other able-bodied people fucking sucks. The other thing that pisses me off is a lot of the disabled people who receive my company's services are non-verbal and on the surveys they're given (to give feed back about how they're treated) their caregiver replies for them, usually with shining answers and comments, and their only comment about the person they're writing for is 'they're non-verbal so they cant answer these questions themselves' and I'm sitting here like did you even let them LOOK at the survey?!?!?!
     
    • Witnessed x 1
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