Anxiety, suicidal thoughts and relationships, yay

Discussion in 'Braaaaiiiinnnns...' started by neukoln, Oct 24, 2016.

  1. neukoln

    neukoln New Member

    okay. I really need advice now.

    I suffer from some sort of anxiety problems, it's not diagnosed so I'm not sure exactly what it is but I experience panic attacks and I handle stress extremely badly. this is annoying at the best of times.

    I am now in a relationship with someone. she's an incredibly sweet, funny, smart, beautiful girl and I love her very much. there's a problem though, she suffers from depression, self-harms and has increasingly frequent suicidal thoughts. and by that I mean that within the last week there have been two instances where she said she was close to attempting, one of which she only stopped herself because I took her on a trip to the nearby beach.

    I am constantly jumpy and ready to run to her flat or call for help at the first sign of trouble, but because I am tired and extremely anxious 'the first sign of trouble' means 'she hasn't replied to messages in a while' or 'she just said something slightly weird'. she knows I have anxiety issues, she's even come to my flat in the past to check on me after I've had a fairly bad panic attack. (<3)

    we're both at uni now. I've not exactly been staying on top of my work for the last few weeks because I've been so worried about her (and also executive dysfunction, but shhhhhh) and she knows it. this feeds into her feelings of being a burden on me and it means she's even more reluctant to tell me when she's feeling down or worse. the other day, she went to great length to assure me she was alright, and then once I had calmed down and decided there was no need to check on her proceeded to self-harm. (which I felt so guilty about that she told me not to do anything stupid.)

    I know I can't save her from her mental illness or anything. but I can't stand idly by like she sometimes outright says she'd want me to while she possibly kills herself. I just want her to feel like she can tell me when she's in trouble so I don't worry (so much) when she definitely isn't. is there anything I can do? anything I can say to her? I love her and I couldn't stand to watch her close herself off like that.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice