I am a medical student as some of you might know. Currently I am in my surgery rotation. Today in the OR I had a chance to put a urinary catheter in a male patient. During the procedure the surgeons in training was gisting me advice. (this might not translate very well, but I hope you get the gist). I was holding the patients penis and it was slipping from my hand, he said: 'pull on it more' and then added: 'just like at home' It made me sort of uncomfortable, though it was also sort of funny...
It made me feel sort of uncomfortable, because on the one hand: What the hell do I know about holding penises. I have never been in possession of one, nor did I ever handle one before. And the ones on the practice puppets certainly weren't this slippery. On the other hand: how is he supposed to know that? Also, it was sort of funny because he does possess a penis, and I also happen to know that he is a gay male with a boyfriend. Ugh. It feels like it was inappropriate/bordering on sexual harassment, but then, I am never ever going to say something about it, probably. Ugh, emotions are weird.
Pretty sure anyone whose job is to cut into living human bodies and mess around with the goop the rest of us prefer to keep inside our skin is gonna be weird.
That's inappropriate, unless you have a very jokey relationship that involves such humor, I would think.
Bleh, I'd feel weird about it because while you have consent to be touching and putting things in the patient's bits, you don't exactly have permission to make it sexual if that makes any sense. It DOES seem like a kind of humor fail, but the presumably unconscious third party drags it from "Ugh, come on." to "Eurgh, no bad." territory for me.
@Emma : I've had a couple of ops 'down there' and found that nurses (both male and female) manage to cope pretty well with the embarrassment and (possibly) inappropriate remarks. A certain level of gallows humour is necessary in these situations for the benefit of all concerned and judging that level is a vital skill.
@jaob Oh, absolutely, it's just that this remark was addressed to me, and it felt inappropriate to me. I have joked around with patients about other things before.
Yeah, I'd call his comment inappropriate as hell considering it was a 'joke' comment about what you do sexually. Not okay territory for a co-worker to step into.
I think the thing is... Yeah its pretty inappropriate, and if i were that guy I'd have been unhappy. But generally the problem with that kind of joke is that people make them either to a) push you into talking and then maybe doing sex stuff with them (aka "just joking! ...unless you're gonna do it" jokes) or b) trying to make you uncomfortable so you go away or accept a lower position than them on the social ladder because you're afraid. In this case, i think it was made because the surgeon noticed you were having a hard time and tried to give advice and help make an already awkward situation less so with humor, and just sort of was bad at it. So yeah, being uncomfortable is totally valid and he messed up for sure. But it doesnt sound like it was coming from a place that should worry you going forward? Esp if he responds well to a private "it embarrasses me when you talk about sex". (If he doesnt respond well/keeps doing it, the hes an asshole and please disregard my previous statement.)
If he was unambiguously addressing you then OK, I agree with you. Personally, I always find that when the medical profession gives you that wan smile or a frown then it's best to behave - the consequences of not doing so are just too awful to contemplate!
Definitely not coming from a place where that would worry me :P Also, even if he wasn't gay (though I suppose he could be bi), he seems way too nice for that sort of thing. The patient was already unconscious from the meds when the remark was made, so definitely addressed to me ;) I have no idea what you mean by the last part though.
@Emma - Bloody Hell - I've just realised - It wasn't the patient who said it - It was the bloody DOCTORS!!!!! Sorry - I am DUMB - They were sooooo WRONG. Sorry sorry sorry. I am an idiot!
@jaob Yeah, it was the Surgeon-in-training :P The patient was already unconscious. Though I would probably still have found it inappropriate from the patient as well, but I wouldn't have said anything either.
Not to be a downer, but I would note that I've definitely gotten some sexual harassment from gay guys before, because it's way more about power over you than it is attraction. I don't think that was what happened here (I'd agree misjudged attempt to make the situation less uncomfortable), but you're totally allowed to not feel good about it and ask him not to do it again.
