Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by chthonicfatigue, Feb 17, 2017.
Premade salad is a blessing tbh
Refined the carrot frankencake, now have to test it a couple more times. For quality assurance purposes. Not because it's crazy delicious. Nope.
If I could stop being restless any time now that would be grand.
d a m p
God damn it my washer dryer is fucking worse than useless, the pervasive smell of damp fabric, from clothes compre-fucking-hensively dried and ironed, is keeping me awake and I feel like I'm gonna flip out about it
I hate this shitty damp house and this whole shitty damp country
Experiment: eat a meal replacement shake for lunch instead of usual small platter of cold meat and cheese/nothing.
Result: noticeable reduction in energy and stamina levels, very sleepy mid-afternoon despite playing video games. No effect on hunger levels yet (still low.)
Looks like fructose/carbs and non-bio-available micronutrients take more energy to digest and process than my body can gain from them, so. It doesn't look good from outside when I eat a couple of ounces of cheese and some cucumber boats with chicken bacon mayo, but that's actually what I need to do. I'm eating objectively tiny amounts for meals but it's enough, better than when I eat more of less digestible food.
Gonna have to explain that to Li again when he gets upset about me 'not eating'.
The plan was to go to bed early and get up at a reasonable hour, and it might have worked if I didn't spend between half five and half seven awake then fall back asleep.
However, I got up and showered and took meds and ate a Thing earlier than usual, so overall a win.
Got a bit of corneal irritation this morning, probably from intensive screen-watching yesterday. Or from vascular problems, or immune problems, who even knows at this point.
I am mighty. I have washed dishes, done laundry, and tidied up a fuckton of crap from various rooms in house, all done while cringing in (more) pain (than usual) because I managed to yank a muscle or something in my lower back pelvic area
I don't think I'm real to the vast majority of people who know of me
I don't feel like I exist in any concrete sense
I dunno, I used to feel like I was living in a fever dream for a lot of my childhood. I had a strong sense of the unreality of my world. I haven't felt like that for a long while.
Glitch in the system maybe
Spoiler: not sure if this helps but
You're real to me - so much so that I sometimes forget how far away you are. I know I'm just a random person on Kintsugi who just lurks all over the place but I think you're a really cool person and wish we were closer so I could know you offline.
Delurks to say you are maybr actually a lil more real to me than some other folks on forum(?) on account of us being in the same country. Finding out internet people are also Scotland people is always a very !!!! thing to me
thanks, that actually helps quite a bit.
Spoiler: Things I wish I'd realised sooner
Don't keep things - the expensive things, the unusual things, the things you love - for best. Use them. Love them. Make them part of your life. Appreciate them. It takes the sting out of losing, and breaking, and getting rid because it's no longer something you need.
Like I know people keep things for best to drag out 'for company' once in every few years, and it doesn't make sense to me that you'd keep the nicest things for other people? Or that you'd be worried people will judge you negatively for using your everyday dishes, like that's not good enough. I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone that superficial, or willing to go anywhere out of my way to impress them.
Thing is, that's my family. My mum inherited a beautiful set of Japanese serveware from an friend who had hoarded them for 40 years, and she's had them sitting in a display cabinet afraid to touch them for the last 15 years. I mean. Fuck that. I'm making a conscious effort to not do that shit. If I want to wear fancy clothes even though I'm just mooching about the house doing chores, then I will, and I'll feel good about it. If I lose my fancy cashmere gauntlets, then at least I know I've worn them to death. If I smash up a piece of my vintage coffee sets, at least I've fucking used them, and enjoyed them.
Please don't keep things for best. Life's too short and fragile.
I'd really like to not fail terribly at making meals and eating in general this week. I compounded the issue by doing the grocery shopping in a rush and therefore not getting any meal components. I hope I've done better this weekend, but I'm struggling to think of things I actually want to eat.
I'm definitely making broccoli and blue cheese soup, and chicken cobb salad, probably chilli mince tacos, and I have no clue beyond that.
Wrapped egg and bacon mayo, sliced chicken breast, and mozzarella in iceberg lettuce leaves; good stuff. Thinking of making smoked salmon, ricotta and avocado wrapped in ribboned cucumber and sushi nori with some black sesame as garnish.
Disappears into the Sims 4 on PS4 for the foreseeable future
brb building improbable houses forever
True facts about my husband:
He cannot do a dish to save his life, unless there are no more plates in the cupboard. It was the same with the dishwasher, shit piled up until it was either load it or eat off the floor. I hoped having hot running water in the kitchen would help but whoops nope.
He will not take the bins out unless it is either bin day or you literally cannot move in the kitchen for trash.
Flat surfaces are for filling with things and then forgetting about them for several months.
Paperwork goes, unopened, into a bedside drawer.
Sinks are for filling with cold greasy water. (This one legitimately gives me the heaves, I hate the feeling of having to put my hand in it, god, ugh.)
Doesn't use the planner I bought him for work because it's "too good". Prefers to leave it sitting doing fuck-all instead.
Better not bring a fucking fish home from the loch today. I mean it.
I'm honestly mad at myself for not having more energy and not just doing shit, and doubly mad that we appear to have lost half a tub of the erythritol which is damn expensive and I know where it was last, and it's not there now and it's not in the cupboards so where in fuckalally has the bloody thing went, I know it's not been used up already.
Existence is a chore.
Also I want to get out the next fine day there is and replace the slats on the bench, rub down the metalwork and repaint it in a bright colour but that means venturing into what was the garage and dealing with all the shit past me though was a good idea to shove in there.
It's enough to drive a man to drink.
I did all the stuff I detailed in the productivity thread plus midi-cleaned the bathroom sink, soaked and disinfected some things, cleaned the washing machine including inside the seals and ran through a tub clean and did a laundry load, vacuumed, and scrubbed the toilet.
Edit: was gonna do some household shopping but just spent three solid minutes gawking into the fridge wondering where my laundry was after hearing the machine chime for finish, so, time to call it a night.
Stayed up til stupid o'clock trying to get a functional roof on a virtual house. Li has invited someone round and is now happily sitting playing animal crossing while I try to tidy up for their arrival.
Like I just want them to have somewhere to sit, actually, could you. Please. Not actively make life harder for me.
He made pancakes, so he's forgiven.
I ate pizza and now I'm suffering for it. Stomach, vascular and energy problems. This is never worth it and I don't know why I don't get that into my stupid head.
Uveitis/corneal warping/what the fuck ever has effectively put the kibosh on all activities that involve actually using my eyes to concentrate; so no gaming, art, colouring, tv or ebooks for me today!
No but seriously what do I do with myself, I can only bake so much before collapsing in a puddle of overheated jelly.
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