Ugh ugh ugh I phoned my mum, because she was feeling ill last night after a day gardening and went to bed early, and she doesn't eat enough, and so god help me I still worry about my parents even though they're old enough and daft enough to look after themselves. My sister answers the phone. We have a brief conversation. She refers to me in the third person throughout, told me I need to go out in the sun for a walk to make me feel better (because just up and doing that is totally a thing I can do, without health repercussions, uh huh, not like I have heat and exercise related health issues) and terminates the conversation abruptly when I mention being with Li yesterday. My mum is fine, wants to know if I need her help (I DO NOT) and the sort of just says "okay speak later bye" and hangs up on me and I just ??? ?? What? What am I doing wrong here? I know I struggle to be a proper human but I don't know what's going on? I can chew on it all I want and form all sorts of hypotheses but I can't ever get a straight answer when I ask What The Fuck Is Up and it shouldn't be driving me as crazy as it is, but there we go. Don't make me guess what's wrong, just fucking tell me! I have major anxiety over having to guess my way through social interactions because of the whole "if you don't know what you did wrong then its not worth telling you" bull which had me implicate myself in a dozen different ways when I was still growing up, trying to find out what what what had made people mad with me this time, i don't do that any more. Fuck me backwards with a bloody chainsaw.