I might try the second one. like, I might try writing him a letter or something and giving him that, and making sure it's not super passive-aggressive or anything so that it's all good. I could take some time in between talking to him, but honestly, last time I split and tried to just not talk to the person, it made the split worse....
ARGHHHH Ok so you are saying that when the CAUSE of "bad things will happen when you don't control your emotions" happens, the EFFECT is "then you learn pretty fast to control your emotions." So I have said that I don't know how to control my emotions. It feels like you are saying that therefore, since I don't have the effect, I must not have the cause! I must just never have had any effects for my emotional outbursts! I never got kicked out of school after school and had no friends and got screamed at and hurt by my mom, because if I DID, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE LEARNED PRETTY QUICK TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS!!!
what keeps happening with you in this thread: you take another person's symptoms/experiences as a judgement and condemnation on you personally, you get angry, you yell at them. this is not a good thing. if you can't stop doing that, you need to stay out of this thread.
a brief update on my situation with my friend: I cannot write a letter to him that is not v v emotionally charged and potentially hurtful to him. I don't know what to do.
*hugs* that is a good idea that might actually work it would need to be someone who's friends with both of us or something though, so that the go-between person is not biased. maybe our girlfriend? she's very calm and not emotional about situations...hmmm.
further update, in case you were wondering, @emythos got our girlfriend to be a go-between last night she talked to me and then she talked to him and then she got us into a group chat and explained what both of us thought of the situation, and we talked it out there were several misunderstandings between me and him that she helped us resolve, and then me and him had a private Serious Discussion about my splitting and what caused it and how he needs to be more careful about what he says and how I need to be less affected by what he says and now we both have some stuff we're working on and the important thing is that it all worked out and we are talking again and everything is good!
*offers hugs* can you get yourself a hot chocolate or something? Because I think you deserve one right now.
lmao no bc if I go in the kitchen my mom's going to make snide comments about how I don't need to gain any more weight and that I better be getting a glass of water and nothing else and then I might just start crying because I really cannot take her nitpicking anymore tbh the hugs are welcome though I could use hugs
YOur mom's kinda a shithead wow. I'mma e-hug the hell out of you! You're precious and we like you and you deserve nice things!
I should kind of be used to it by now because she is always like this and I'm just why am I still so easily upset by her and everything she does but yay hugs and people who like me
i dig that you have to live with it for now bro, i'm just. aghast. holy shit. all my sympathies for having to put up with that unholy bullshit.
yeah...thanks. like, legitimately. it sucks, but there's not much to be done for now. someday, though.