charter peanut gallery

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by seebs, Feb 22, 2017.

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  1. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    no, it won't, especially from someone who's just trying to pick a fight with me. i would rather explain myself to seebs and ask for help if i need it, not a near-stranger sticking their nose where it doesn't belong.
     
  2. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    So I have had more than a few conversations with wax about this, and this is my best attempt at distilling:
    They have a problem with people who do harmful stuff being immediately welcomed back to the forum and posting normally. They are concerned by people suicide-baiting and doxxing and then coming back to the forum only a short while later, doing everything they used to do, and not making a thread in TCHGB or otherwise discussing what they have done. They view it as continuing a harmful cycle. That is the cyclical behavior they were talking about, and I agree that it kinda worries me too. I am not willing to characterize people as missing stairs or abusers, like they (or seebs) are, because I cannot make my brain do it without a preponderance of evidence, but I am worried about it all the same.
    Does that help elucidate?
     
    • Like x 7
  3. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Again, this is a public thread where anyone is free to respond. If you want a private conversation I suggest pm's, or a different thread with that expressed purpose.
     
    • Like x 4
  4. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    again, one of the main issues is people getting into others' arguments and interpreting what the person is saying.

    as seen with seebs. seebs, your own admin, admitted it was a problem and head to leave, Beldaran.
     
  5. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    I can understand how it looked like ipuntya was trying to pick a fight, I strongly got the impression that you were being defended there and seebs was being told off for speaking to you and cyborgism like he did.
     
    • Like x 3
  6. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    not after saying it was bad arguing and telling me to fuck off, kathy. you're smarter than this.
     
    • Like x 1
  7. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    also don't try to backpedal and like that post, ipuntya. fucking apologize to me or don't get involved further.
     
    • Like x 1
  8. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    I didn't see that if it came before you telling them not to beat the dead horse, I just woke up and haven't backread through everything I missed.

    I'm just. Super tired? I'm very drained and exhausted. Yesterday was incredibly taxing on me. It was like taking all of my spoons and tossing them out of the window. Typing up that last post was super distressing for me also and I just don't want to see it get lost in pages of a personal conflict - perhaps a TCHGB thread is a more appropriate place?
     
    • Like x 3
  9. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    even the original post itself was demeaning. but i understand how it can be read that way.

    i know, kathy. i'm really sorry you're going through this. this is why i just posted for ipuntya to either apologize or stop bringing it up.
     
    • Like x 1
  10. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    the argument is that leo's being a dick, but that seebs is being a much bigger dick. i have no interest in picking a fight with leo, because i think he's a dick and want nothing to do with him. people who repeatedly comment on autistic people's tone and refuse to engage with things at face value piss me the fuck off
     
    • Like x 3
  11. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    repeatedly fucking comment-- oh, fuck off. if youre going to keep bringing this up i'm making a TCHGB and reporting every comment here after that is about this.
     
    • Like x 1
  12. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    Also I apologize if that came off dismissive of hurt suffered by either party, I'm not the brightest candle on the candelabra right now.
     
    • Like x 2
  13. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    it's fine. you haven't done anything wrong.

    you should probably go take a break, if anything.
     
    • Like x 1
  14. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    This fight needs to leave this thread or I'm going to lock it until I'm out of therapy and can keep an eye on it.
     
    • Like x 3
  15. cyborgism

    cyborgism they/them

    note where i said "directly going up to alix." what i had in mind was making them unwelcome by forming a "mob" (which wax has been accused of, and to me implies direct to-their-face attacks). i didn't say they weren't trying to make them feel unwelcome at all, i know they were.

    i'd appreciate not being pinged/quoted/discussed in this thread anymore, i'm done with it for the next few hours, if not the day or just completely.
     
    • Like x 1
  16. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    ty, bel.
     
  17. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    That's fair, please take your break.

    It is so smoggy and hot here rn at 4 in the morning that my glasses keep fogging up and when I clean them, words blur. I apologize if I missed anything as a result.
     
    • Like x 2
  18. chthonicfatigue

    chthonicfatigue Bitten by a radioactive trickster god

    I understand that, in a way, but it still doesn't explain how to break the cycle other than "this person should be ignored completely or leave", and given that they stated per Kathy's post that they do not believe good faith and the only evidence which will convince them is years of 'good behaviour' (and I'm unsure how to qualify that phrase tbh, because I'm sure they could argue even mild disagreements or personality clashes as "bad" behaviour - not saying they would, but it sure is a loophole to be exploited), it does seem to me to be a very 'one strike and you're out' policy.

    ETA: and how can you prove good behaviour when the options seem to be either leave or be ignored? If I can't post normally, does my every post for the next 24 months have to contain performative grovelling? I'm genuinely confused.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2017
    • Like x 11
  19. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    That also confused me, yeah. I couldn't ask for clarification at the time because I needed to take a step back and calm myself down. Full disclosure - I lost my patience and nearly my temper a couple of times in the conversation, but apologized when I got snappy.

    I cannot further engage in private discussion with wiwaxia because I feel like I was being condescendingly patted on the head and told that in The Real World, people are always going to be hurt and you're just picking which side hurts more which...is unacceptable to me, and only applies here where trying to make catch all solutions to problems that need micro attention
     
    • Like x 10
  20. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Jo's Actual Opinion Time: I think you have genuinely made an effort to not do the thing again, and you've been willing to explain your behavior to people who ask. I also think that no one is obligated to forgive, and some people aren't going to. That is fine.
    If people don't feel like they can process the stuff they said mid-meltdown, that's okay. But I think it qualifies as "not trying to get better". (edit to finish thought: and I do not fault people for avoiding them accordingly. I still think group shun is bad, to be clear)
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2017
    • Like x 8
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