Could Moving To US Possibly Be Worthwhile?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by knifecentipede, Dec 14, 2018.

  1. knifecentipede

    knifecentipede guillotine-chan

    • I'm 20. I live in Russia. I don't like it at all. As long as I remember myself I've been planning to leave. I would rather die than grow old here. That would most likely happen as in Russia gender transition is not illegal but extremely difficult to even begin and likely to have consequences such as lasting unemployment and I am unwilling to take that risk. I would also prefer to get therapy abroad.
    • So basically leaving the country soon is a matter of not killing myself and also spending as much of my lifetime being male and mentally stable as possible, i.e. living. This is urgent.
    • Within 4-8 years it will be possible for me to green card marry my LDR boyfriend in the US. He has a decent house in a liberal area. This is my only chance to leave Russia relatively easily, early and legally.
    • However life in the US is fucked and I know many americans who are terrified to imagine their future and desperate to immigrate to EU countries. That scares me. I'm pretty sure right now it's still better than Russia but like. Would US residence help me when actual US residents are all jumping ship?
    • There are no easy ways for me to immigrate to the EU. Absolutely not straight from Russia as a young poor unskilled postgraduate with no local contacts. Please do not point me to EU immigration or work permits 101.
    • Is ANYBODY okay with being a US citizen? Is US uninhabitable? Am I basically just doomed?
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
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  2. Paradigm Shift

    Paradigm Shift Sleepy Girl Wants Love

    A lot of the panic right now sources from President Trump. For the past few decades our Republican Party has been full of regressive people who don't want anything to change and exist solely for the sake of money, but putting a cap on them has always been possible because while they would occasionally step further over the line or sneak a punch below the belt, they mostly didn't try to get too crazy. Trump being in office and just seeming invincible in his madness has encouraged them to be outright madmen, and while it's invigorated our Democratic Party to seek seats a lot of the panic currently gripping the country is because we do not know how things are going to shake up in our political future because the Republicans have seen a lot of Get Out Of Jail Free cards aren't nearly as hard for them to use as they used to think.

    I do think it's important to reiterate though: We don't know.

    I've lived in this country for twenty-five years, albeit not as an immigrant, and have been thoroughly bitter with our political system. I also recognize that my housing costs are pretty okay, our amenities are nice, my healthcare at present pays all bills thrown at it since I'm disabled and between jobs, and other nice nuggets. I think so long as you don't enter the country illegally, you speak good English, and you stick to liberal states/cities you're probably going to be okay.

    The U.S. isn't without reason to live in. My honest advice, though, would be that by the time 4-8 years go by like you're talking about, there'll be a much clearer picture of our political situation and how tenable things will be. Once the current Presidential term is up, the 2020 elections will paint a decent picture of America's immediate future for the next decade or so, I think.
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  3. Birdy

    Birdy so long

    Yes, no, no.

    The US is a big country (well, I guess not that big, comparatively speaking) and because it’s formed of disparate states, what the social and political climate is like depends strongly on where you are. If your boyfriend is in a liberal area, things will most likely not be that bad.

    Not all US residents are jumping ship. I don’t think the country is doomed, necessarily, and I think that while a lot of people are talking about moving now, they might not do it at all once the political situation shifts

    Also, other people aren’t you, and though they might find the situation intolerable enough to leave, you might be perfectly fine. I would not base your long term plans on the actions of people you ultimately have very little in common with
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  4. Artemis

    Artemis i, an asexual moron

    My advice, alongside many of my colleagues:

    Wait until the 2020 elections.

    If Trump gets re-elected, getting gone will be a lot more urgent. If the democratic party gets the presidency, we're going to assume this too shall pass in the near future.

    That's two years off, so not near enough, imo, but relatively speaking.

    I'm not currently planning on leaving, personally, but I do have a back-up plan in case I need it (I've got a passport and a Canadian friend willing to home me). And there are definitely areas of the US I wouldn't recommend going to if you're wanting to be more open about any gender or related stuff (hi I live in Polk County, Florida, and oh dear goddess don't come here). If your boyfriend is in a liberal area though, like Birdy said, you're probably fine.
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  5. Lebesgue Integreat

    Lebesgue Integreat Lesbian Intrigue

    Reiterating Paradigm Shift's point, we sincerely have no fucking clue what's going to happen. I, for my own personal reasons, tend towards believing the likelihood of bad is higher than the likelihood of good, but that is based completely and entirely on personal experience and intuition, as such it is not a good basis for advice like this. There will be, as in any country you go to, horrible and wonderful people just about anywhere you go. The north tends to be a bit better than the south when it comes to things like being trans or an immigrant and so I would advise you try for a northern state if and when you do come.

    I would say that I am as ok with being a US citizen as I think I would be any other country, excluding those that have shit fucked even worse. If trump manages to get re-elected and not impeached for cheating that one too, I would definitely lean closer to "shit is completely fucked, people need to leave while they can", if a republican that's not him gets it, I would be concerned about the shit that they try to pass under the guise of "hey I'm not that asshole at least" and it's basically a reverse foot in the door (I forget the actual term) effect across the whole country. If a democrat gets it, since you're not looking at moving for another few years after that if my reading of your OP was correct, pay attention to politics threads here, try and find good news sources (rare as they may be) and follow what's happening. The expectation is that things should be getting better. Obviously you would most want to examine things that would impact your safety in coming here, trans rights, immigration reforms, etc.

    That all said, there is a reasonably high chance of you finding an excellent community here, a good area with good people and good opportunities for you and your boyfriend. We just don't know about the political situation, but, at least on the small scale, the scale of neighborhoods and of workplaces and such, you've got a good chance of finding something good here.
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  6. knifecentipede

    knifecentipede guillotine-chan

    You're right. When I'm anxious (ALL THE TIME) it's difficult to remember this panic comes from shock and instability and not necessarily specific predictions of the future. Of course I follow what's happening, that's why I worry so much ^^;; I should wait and see. Not like I have an option not to lol, I'm not leaving tomorrow. There's a chance things will get better over time. And some good things we don't have here aren't going anywhere.
    Not to mention my English is fine, I'll be immigrating by legal means, I'm relatively white (jewish so kind of 50/50 in current political climate ig but with my appearance it's not an immediate risk), I pass well, yes my bf lives in a liberal area in a northern state - all that gives me pretty decent chances.
    It's also true that other people's goals and standards might be completely different and their unfulfillment does not guarantee mine.

    Thank you all. These are good perspectives I haven't considered before and I certainly feel better now)

    Also really sorry about Florida
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
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  7. Paradigm Shift

    Paradigm Shift Sleepy Girl Wants Love

    Hey, don't sweat it. The way we Americans talk and other countries probably talk about us I'm sure it looks like we're all imploding immediately when in reality it's taken Trump three years to so much as fuck the Mexican border and pull us out of some agreements that other Presidents probably could fix.

    We all are.
    • Agree x 5
  8. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Consider all the people saying that if Trump got elected, the ACA would go away and everyone would lose their health care.

    Two years later, with Republican control of the House and Senate, and repealing the ACA being one of their primary stated goals, they didn't actually do it.

    There's at least one recent case before the Supreme Court where Trump's first hand-picked ultraconservative judge was unambiguously on the side of the people against government abuses of power, to the point of being snide and sarcastic about it. Because he might be pretty damn conservative, but unlike Justice Fratboy, he's actually a competent jurist and cares about the law.
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  9. witchknights

    witchknights 27 Bold Enchanter Defends The Fearful

    People in the US also tend to think that their issues are more immediate and worse than everyone else's - it's not really their fault, everybody knows where their fire burns - but what is an unbearable situation for one is a pretty okay one for another.

    As a non-USian, I can't really say anything about the US in specific, but if it helps with your anxiety - I know a lot of Brazilians who fled or are planning to immigrate to Portugal and Spain because of our current financial and violence crisis, even if Portugal and Spain are kinda fucked as far as the EU goes, because it's better than they can get here. The US's current political and social climate can be bad, but from what limited information I get from Russia, it's worse there. So IMHO it would be good for you, especially if what you said holds true by the time you can actually make the move.
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  10. Maya

    Maya smug_anime_girl.jpg

    I can offer some perspective as an (l)gbt person in a deeply red county (and the 6th most armed county in the US! go figure): it's really not as bad as some of our venting might lead you to believe. things are hard and uncertain and anxiety-inducing, but it's survivable and for the most part it is comfortable. access to resources is still pretty okay in most areas, at worst fucking annoying but not impossible. i know a lot of the news cycle coming out of us is fucking horrifying, but everyday life isnt as terrible as that'd lead you to believe. i'd like to think we have a pretty good checks and balances in place and that it's stable and will remain stable, trump and his lackeys just like to talk a bigger game than they're actually capable of or motivated to put out.

    basically: it's really not so bad. we just seem to have a lot of pent up emotions that tend to manifest as "EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND WE'RE GOING TO DIE"

    if you can make the move, i'd think it'd be the best decision for you, and it sounds like you'd have plenty of time to do the research.
    • Agree x 3
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