im just so tired of my mom trying to help in incredibly counterproductive ways i sincerely believe she has good intentions but my mi has been getting worse, not better, as i get older, but as i get older she expects me to have a better grip on helping myself and i really dont, im bad at self-care and im bad at getting regular meals and i feel miserable and stupid when i stutter and go nonverbal but she always scolds me for failing to take care of myself instead of helping me or demands to know how to help me when im like "if i knew how to make myself get past my executive dysfunction i would have let you know by now" im so so so tired and my memory is shot and my health is bad and im so tired
so theres some people who take issue with my fiance and they by proxy take issue with me, like, existing they need to chill out and also fuck off but i gotta say its a bad feel when people are like "ugh, ALANA, she's dating someone I don't like, she must be the w o r s t" because of years old fandom drama that i wasnt even involved in