Discussion in 'Dramatis Transformae' started by sirsparklepants, Oct 13, 2016.
A thread for silly side IC stuff and one-off noncanon scenarios!
An excerpt from the ongoing serial, The Travels of Captain Steel and His Loyal Crew
Spoiler: part 1, cut for length
Steel sighed, the vent moving his slight frame. He'd been getting nowhere with Skydancer lately. The handsome bomber was worried for him, and while Steel appreciated the concern, his spark still ached for the touch of another bot. Captain Fastjet was so busy with his trine lately, and Hospital was entirely concentrating on making up with Speedboat - as they should be. Steel had no wish to tear true spark bonded mates apart to satisfy his own desires. Skydancer, though, was unattached, though he'd dallied with Hospital in the past. And the mech was beautiful - Captain Steel's own preference for jets aside, his huge strong frame and sharp points commanded the attention of everyone who encountered him.
Steel had begun this mission intending not to fraternize with his crew, but on long missions like this one, things happened. First, the party to welcome Platinum aboard, where he and Fastjet had lost all control of the desire that had simmered between them since their first meeting. Then Prism arrived onboard, and seeing the mech he had loved so deeply - loved deeply still, whether he chose to spoke in his true, impossibly lovely voice to Steel again or not - had opened up another hole in Steel's carefully built walls. Then, that wonderful night with Fastjet and Hospital together - the one that started Hospital on the journey to finding his true love (and, Steel was sure, future conjunx) in Speedboat. Now he was noticing the admiring looks he was getting from the rest of the crew - Skydancer, especially.
He sighed deeply again. If he had wings, they would have slumped. Quickly, he straightened - he must look strong and alert at all times. His crew had quickly learned his smaller size sheltered a large, fierce spark, ready to hear their troubles and jump to their defense at the slightest notice. That meant his image was important - no moping in the halls. Unfortunately, he saw he'd caught the eye of Journey, a fun-loving jet, but one who was in comms, and therefore at the apex of the ship's gossip chain. "You all right, Captain?" Journey asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
Steel looked up. He found himself tracing the lines of Journey's fingers with his optics, imagining how they would feel plucking his wires, worming between plates - maybe even grazing the corona of his spark. He tore his gaze away, instead looking at Journey's face. "I'm all right, Journey. Just... thinking about the crew."
Journey laughed. "Well, hell, Captain, I don't know why that's put such a frown on your face. Didn't think we were that much trouble."
Steel shook his head, immediately. "No, of course you aren't. I'm simply looking towards the future - I'm always concerned about our safety, in some way or another."
"I know, Captain," Journey said, smiling. "We all know how hard you work for us. You let us know if we can do anything at all for you, though."
His tone was unmistakably sensual, and Steel blinked. Most of his face was hidden behind his mask, so he knew his thoughts couldn't have been plain upon his face, though irrationally, he was sure that they had been, for just a moment. He couldn't keep himself from flirting back. "I know where to find you if you can, Journey. Carry on."
Journey winked, throwing a mock salute that Steel smiled at, though the crewbot couldn't see. His thoughts quickly turned serious again. He needed to sort out his feelings - no more moping in front of the crew. And for that, he needed someone who would speak to him plainly. Someone honest. Someone he trusted. And that someone was Nurse Razorclaw.
Spoiler: part 2
Nurse Razorclaw was, as always, in the medbay. Steel had thought about bringing up the fact that she was always working more than once, but she could easily turn that around on him, so he'd kept quiet. In this case, it worked to his advantage, because when he spoke to Head Nurse Terror, she was more than happy to allow him some time with Razorclaw. It seemed she was overdue for a break. So it was with a clear conscience that he walked up behind her. "Energon, Nurse Razorclaw?" he asked.
From the look on the cat's face, he hadn't snuck up on her, but she also hadn't realized how low her fuel levels were until he offered. "Sure," she said. "Just let me tell the head nurse I'm going on break."
"Already taken care of," Steel reassured her. "Apparently you were overdue. Shall we go somewhere more quiet?"
The medbay was fairly quiet - luckily there had been no major accidents aboard recently - but Razorclaw quickly took his meaning. "There's a few small bunks in the back, Captain. Follow me."
When they were comfortable, Razorclaw looked at him. "Well, what's on your mind, Captain?" She looked at him with the energon cube between her paws.
Steel's spark ached a little, listening to Razorclaw's Kaonese accent. It sounded so familiar, so like and unlike his home, long lost to the tragedy that had devastated so many. He thought that accent was one of the reasons he'd bonded so well with her. She knew, on a level so many wouldn't, where he came from. "I'm just... feeling so lonely and confused, lately," he began. "I'm happy for Hospital, finding Speedboat, but he's busy, and so is Fastjet - new trines and all - and of course that means Prism is busy too. Skydancer is wonderful, but he wants to take things slow because he's worried about me - and I don't know whether that's mentally or whether he thinks he'll hurt me, physically. Like I would let him. Like he would let himself."
He paused, but it was true. Large as he was, Skydancer was also kind-hearted and gentle with him. Steel longed to see him lose control, to see his face when he was utterly lost to passion and insensate with pleasure. He wanted to see what heights Skydancer could bring him to. He shivered, then looked quickly at Razorclaw, but if she had noticed, she gave no sign. "And... just now, Journey was flirting with me," he continued. "And it made me realize how much I want someone else's servos on my plating. He's an attractive mech, and I was... tempted."
Razorclaw lifted her face from her cube, licking the last drops of energon from around her face. "If you're finished, Captain, think I've got a solution for you," she said. "I think what Skydancer needs from you is... a push. Make him jealous. Make him see what he's missing out on. I know you haven't told those slaggers from Comms not to film you, and you know how footage of you gets around the ship. If you frag someone else, he'll know. And from what I've heard, Journey won't be heartbroken if all you want is to have some fun. Besides, you need to relax some, Captain."
Steel's spark spun and he had to fight the urge to allow his fans to click on. That solution sounded like exactly what he wanted - therefore it must be too good to be true. "But what if Skydancer thinks I'm involved with Journey?" he said. "You know how rumor is around the ship, and he wouldn't get between a relationship. He's not that type of mech."
Razorclaw stretched, then padded over to Steel. "Well then, why don't you get taped with two bots? Extra jealousy, and it makes it clear that you're open to multiple partners. If you're interested, I volunteer, Captain."
So an extremely dead dove AU of Divine Intervention AU was discussed
Some background info: Voidborn and Phaedrus eventually have three kids together that, due to the mingling of Unicron and Primus's energies, are the brain, spark and t-cog of The One
Spoiler: Dead babies, medical experiments
@TwoBrokenMirrors : primus and unicron just eventually have to provide the one themself
@IvyLB : ... does that mean that technically unicron and primus can bang and have a kid now without ending the universe if only those four never combine? xP
@sirsparklepants : ...but then the kid would lack brain spark and tcog, can you imagine how upsetting that would be to carry
Sparkles: That's what I got anyway I may be misunderstanding
Ivy: no i mean that wasn't what I was thinking but you're... technically right...
it would be an empty frame essentially
Mirrors: you're absolutely right and that's really fucking sad somehow. xP
Sparkles: Just. Pregnancy after pregnancy of empty frames. Upsetting as fuck
Ivy: that's just.... god.... unicron would not deal witht hat well
Sparkles: Probably extremely upsetting for whoever is presiding physician (if they have one) when they eventually decide things should end too
Mirrors: i mean like
i assume that said empty frame does technically contain the essential One-ness of The One, but i don't think anyone would be able to tell
except maybe unicron and primus themselves perhaps?
Sparkles: ...oh my God want to hear the Super dead dove au I just came up with
Mirrors: yes. yes i do
Sparkles: Okay so in a universe where LS went slightly more off his rocker from the war, he wouldn't see the Oneness in the frames but he would see incredible potential
The frames are perfect - they come from two gods, how could they not be - except that every one of them lacks everything that makes a bot properly live. Oh, they grow, they have the essential reflexes, but there's no one there. But that's good! He can't duplicate the perfection, try as he might, but he can give people perfect bodies when they thought they'd never properly live again. They're the cure for all illness, for the most debilitating injuries it's still beyond his power to fix. Now he just has to convince Unicron and Primus that making more of these empty frames will help their people, who have felt so lost and abandoned for millions of years. They're already their children, aren't they? This is just making it less metaphorical.
Sorry I slipped into Writing Voice because I had to make the terrible idea more terrible
Mirrors: oh my god
Sparkles: I told you it was bad
Ivy: I LOVE IT THO
how that would interact with Unicron's quintessential jealousy of Primus' claim to cybertronians as his children and his tendency to punish himself
Mirrors: THIS WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR ANY OF THEM
Ivy: not at all but it would be so deliciously awful
Sparkles: Just imagine unicron and primus watching someone else walk around in their child's body, their child who was supposed to be the most perfect union of Them, who was supposed to right all wrongs, wipe the slate clean
and then deliberately letting it happen again because crazy life support has convinced them it's the best thing they can do for their people
Mirrors: oh nooooooooooooo
i love it
also like... the people in those frames
they probably suffer too
given that the frames probably try to like... not do this thing that's against the plan
Mirrors: I bet it's not
to be surrounded by such... idk. raw everything
oh man the Storm Season series/Barbarian AU on AO3 has... the matrix be kind of this vaguely tainted magical obect that allows the dead primes to essentially constantly scream at OP. and I imagine the frames feel kind of similar to that
except it's only one voice but it's loud enough to be as if the entire universe is yelling at them to stop being Wrong
Sparkles: The only one not actively suffering in this au is life support but he's passively suffering so
There needs to be a "how dare" button
@sirsparklepants is the hero we deserve and is writing romance novel love interest introduction paragraphs for characters:
"There, in the doorway, stood an Insecticon. Some of his kind were positively barbaric in form, but this one seemed a little less intimidating than others of his kind. The heavy, sharp lines of his frame made Captain Steel's ventilations come slightly faster as he pictured that dangerously appealing plating surrounding him - the slightest movement could scratch his paint. But the hard danger in the Insecticon's sharp armor was belied by the shine of sincerity in his optics. It was a dangerously alluring combination."
"the beautiful sleek lines of a fighter jet were enhanced by his bright paints, the spread of expressive wide wings a shadow of darkness behind him like the shadows of the brooding silences he sometimes fell into, contemplating the good of the planet and how much there was to do bringing it to its former glory"
@Ratio of Iacon
"The mischievous glint in his optics hinted that he knew something you didn't, but that he'd be happy to share the secret... For a price. And his confident posture told you it would be a price you certainly wouldn't mind paying. You doubted anyone would, with the delicate lines of his pseudo-wings giving the lie to his brash exterior, giving you a hint about something fragile that lay deep within him, something you wanted to nurture like a turbofox pup"
@Whisperwind of Obex
"The mobile, expressive wings framed a body that should have appeared fragile with its diminutive size. Instead, the heavy plating brought a sense of solidity and stability to his frame. The smooth, aerodynamic lines were just as visually pleasing on the ground, guiding an appreciative optic up and down the slender legs, the powerful throbbing engines, the surprisingly deft hands."
"He was large, powerfully built and rugged, like some ancient barbarian ready to conquer unknown territory and claim it for his own. And even with the almost sickly outgrowth of crystals on every edge of his thick plating, you wanted him to claim you. They were rough, and you imagined his touch would be rough, that he would know your body was his for the raking and he'd use it as he pleased, and that idea made your spark spin in your chest with mingled fear and excitement"
@Archive of Caminus
"It was exciting, to look at her broad, powerful chest and to know that inside her lay the most profound connection you could have with someone, a true mingling of souls destined to be connected for all eternity. But her loveliness wasn't limited to her bonds; the bright, curious shine of her optics and the way she shyly ducked her head when she caught you looking at her admiringly were more than worth appreciating too."
@Scanner and Sensorsweep:
"You could spend cycles watching the almost magnetic force between them, keeping them close but never - quite - touching, as if they were afraid that one brush would meld them into one being, never again to be separated. Together, you could see the way they covered each other's vulnerabilities as best they could, their spindly, delicate joints bending protectively around each other. The colors made them stand apart, of course, but the contrast together made them difficult to look at, and perhaps that's what they wanted. They never looked directly at each other's faces. Perhaps they couldn't stand to see the ways they were different. They seemed to want to be always together, always the same, and slender, vulnerable limbs always moved to mirror the other, just a moment too late."
Related to this:
@Lacuna of Devisiun
"something about her made you think she always had something wicked on her mind. It wasn't the fierce paints she wore with a dark pride, or the silence that followed and clung to her like a shadow, but something about the way she held herself. Her size was deceptive; she could be dangerous and she knew it well."
@Stentato of Devisiun
"He gave off an aura of caring, of gentleness that was very disarming. You didn't often find people his age that were so careful of themselves and others. He was nervous, too, and cautious, in a way that made you want to draw him out of himself, to forget his troubles for a while and have him fix that gentle attention firmly on you."
Both twins together:
"They couldn't have been more different for two people that were part of a whole. Their colors, their frames, even their body language was different. But the longer you looked, the easier it was to see how they fit, how they left space for each other in every movement, how they weren't identical but complementary. You wanted to see how they used that to fly."
@sirsparklepants you have made a mistake, I want these for ALL THE ROBOTS :P
Eta: if you really want a prioritized list: Eclipse (he is literally tall and dark and on fire handsome c'mon man), Afterglow, Gess, LIFE SUPPORT OH MY GOD
A ficlet that popped into my head, in The AU Where The MurderPile Gets Assigned To Murderate The Generideserters
@IvyLB and @TwoBrokenMirrors technically your children are involved so I'm tagging you :P
Getting into the hi-- the ship was easy! Too easy, almost, but it did look like it had been sitting around for a while. Only... it looked like Thunderwing had chewed right into a nursery, and that. That was not good. He didn't hear any alarms going off, but that didn't mean anything, and there was probably at least one guard around anyway. If anywhere would be protected, it would be here, right?
Especially because at least one of them had somehow gotten out of their egg, and was staring at him with big (tiny!!!) round optics.
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: um
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: there is
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: a problem
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: there are smalls??? why are there smalls???
The little bit's color and kibble hadn't even come in yet, what were they doing awake and up? They could walk, at least, but that just meant there really should be a guard around, what was he supposed to do?
[Hub [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: Yes, all four of them are minibots, have you forgotten that already? Really?
[Hub [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: And for frag's sake why don't you ever pick another name?
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: no, not minis!!!
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: smalls!!!!!
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: also I don't need another name I have my name
[Hub [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: What do you mean with 'smalls,' then?
[Punchatron9000 [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: argue aliases later, yall
[Punchatron9000 [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: we're lucky he even encrypts, let's be real
The tiny bit hadn't stopped moving, but Thunderwing couldn't go back, what if it tried to follow him and fell out of the ship? What should he do? There wasn't supposed to be a nursery, much less growing mechs in it! And-- oh no, oh no, the small reached out one tiny tiny hand and-- grabbed onto Thunderwing's outer pedipalp. Oh no. He snapped a still from his visual feed, shoved it unedited into the mission channel.
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: [image]
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: SMALLS!!!!!!!
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: what do??????
Another tiny weight landed with a clang on Thunderwing's back, settled surprisingly neatly between his elytra-- he maybe screeched a little, reflexively, at being startled! Which did not help with the tiny baby attached to his face at all, now it was a tiny sparking baby, oh no oh no, how was he supposed to help when they probably didn't even know words yet?
[Reserved List [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: Well I'll be damned.
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: WHAT DO????
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: they're sparking
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: help!!!!!
Thunderwing reached out with all four mandibles, hoping to at least reassure the tiny a little bit-- and the hum of a priming blaster caught his attention. Oh no.
"Throttle!" a high voice piped up from the... second bitlet, probably, perched on his back. "We caught a monster!"
[Reserved List [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go]: Well hold off on eating the little guy, that's a start.
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: HELP
[Thunderwing [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: FOUND ONE
[Punchatron9000 [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: frag
[La Petite Mort [encrypted] to Hyperforce Go!]: omw
*whispers* if this is still happening can I get one for Updraft, I know I'm like 3 months late with starbucks.
Due to a tangent in the chat, have gay robot indie rock about a decepticon soldier falling for an autobot noblemech
Spoiler: Thirteen Stanzas Of Gay Robot Tragedy
See his power, see his
A grace of an older
A more earthen type.
Forged for control
And raised to the light.
Many took a knee for him,
The mech with verdigris eyes.
By arrogant smiles.
Every movement a dance
As he draws the lines.
Stars in his mouth as
His every word grinds.
There’s fire in the wake
Of the mech with verdigris eyes.
Stand at attention,
Don’t let him guess,
That despite being the jailer
I feel the need to confess.
Is it the lines of his frame
Or the kind words in jest?
Who is the prisoner and
At whose behest,
Me, or is it the mech,
the mech with the verdigris eyes.
Since the days of old
Have torn apart
Our kinds all told
My fist and spark purple
As the weapons I hold
His being is red
Like flames that rolled
Over the battlefield watched by his verdigris eyes.
He shows kindness
No rudeness just
As he sits in his cell and
Watches me mind him
The Decepticon guard of the mech,
Of the mech with the verdigris eyes.
His frame looks frail
His joints like they’d tear asunder
Under the weight of my gaze
And it feels like thunder
When he smiles at his guard
With gold fangs hidden just under
The polished lips of the mech,
The mech with verdigris eyes.
The bars separate
What by rights should be foes
An attempt to prevent
What can only cause woes
Yet a purple hand reaches
For the hated red glow
Covers it fully, responds
To the pull of those verdigris eyes.
Run fingers over
Of the High and Mighty of old
Burnished copper and
lines like the night, Oh-
I lost my spark to a mech
a mech with verdigris eyes
Fingers laced in
Kisses stolen like
A secret to keep
A silent command
Then the locks open for
The mech with the verdigris eyes.
Never has fleeing
Looked more confident
Never more self assured
As through doors he went
With a sudden start
I realize in that moment
That I was fooled by an enemy,
The mech with verdigris eyes.
And yet he turns
To smile at me
There’s such a thing
As kindness in cruelty
And he reaches his hand
Towards me, his casualty
My badge fixed upon
By his verdigris eyes.
Burnished copper hides purple
Stiffling desperate glow
Lined in blackened void
With red just below
There is death in those hands
But on the lips is a vow
Cursed is the victim
Of the mech with verdigris eyes.
Engines in the night,
The roar of gunfire.
Soft voices pleading
With gods and fate’s ire
A curse and the squeal
Of metal fighting tire.
Crippled was the jailer and lost
Was the mech with verdigris eyes
Because I am a parody of myself, i actually went and wrote the paper Updraft would publish at some point, on the topic of his extensive organic mods.
Behold The Depth Of My Insanity
it's come to my attention I never put this in here so
Afterglow's First Murder
actually, a collection, since apparently I'm Bad at putting links in public places
Murderhusbands' first meeting (or at least four of the five)
Why Eclipse is so gunshy about sparkplay (dubcon)
Archive has a very bad week (tw: confinement, emotional abuse, gaslighting, slight physical abuse)
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