Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by The Frood Abides, Sep 21, 2015.

  1. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I kind of did other because I wasn't sure if "feminine people" meant people who identify as women and girls or people who are femmes. I definitely date men as well as women and also people who aren't either but I am most attracted to people who appear more femme than butch. Or as my friend Anya says, "Stepa (one of my characters lol) likes the pretty ones."
  2. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I can see it. I'm hyperactive as hell--I'm hardly ever still. It has made recovering from my broken ankle even harder than it could've been. If some part of my body's not moving I might not be breathing. I move around a lot in my sleep. I catch myself doing various dance exercises all the time when I'm stuck in queues, figure eight hip isolations are a favourite and few things piss me off more than getting hit on because of it.

    I was notorious for twirling my hair, bouncing my knee, and doodling during classes even in graduate school while hyperfocused on what was being said because auditory is especially hard for me.

    But I also have a severe lack of energy/spoons in terms of Getting Shit Done et cetera.
  3. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    It was meant to be pretty open-ended, because we've got actually even more nonbinary people than I expected. Mostly, like, if qualities you consistently perceive as feminine are an underlying or major component of your attraction to people, feminine people is probably your answer!


    Slightly more coherent answer: Kintsugin are bad at fitting into discrete sets. Extremely broad sets with loosely defined boundaries seemed like the most expedient way to encourage self-sorting accurate enough for charts. Pinpoint accuracy is not a goal, because sexuality is weird and terrible and fluctuates.
    • Like x 8
  4. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    I had meant make it possible to tick multiple boxes, like the autism one. However, the autism one was a mistake and it'd be better to just leave them one answer only, that's fine too.
  5. Acey

    Acey dancing there in the moonbeam rays

    I put "other" for romantic and sexual orientation, because like..."feminine people" could, I think, encompass femme NB people, who I'm not into? Was that the correct response orrrrrrrr??
  6. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    the overall thing seems to be "if you think it was right, it was right"
    • Like x 1
  7. oph

    oph There was a user here, but it's gone now

    I think that one was meant to be 'the people I am attracted to are feminine' rather than 'I am attracted to all sorts of feminine people' -- so, women, or women and feminine NB people, or feminine NB people

    That said, "masculine" and "feminine" may not be the best line to draw in this case. People who are attracted to a sex or gender and not a person's presentation are left a little by the wayside.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2015
    • Like x 2
  8. Lissiel

    Lissiel Dreaming dead

    I actually liked the current line, personally, since thats how i divide it in my head and i rarely see anyone else do it that way. Like, i like femme-y people and dont much care about their sex or gender. But i can see where it might not be the most widely applicable way of looking at the issue.
    • Like x 1
  9. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    I think if one is attracted to a sex or gender, it'd make sense to choose the gender option most closely associated with those traits?

    Like, there's margin for error there, but I'm more comfortable with large margin for error than asking 'dick or no dick?'
    • Like x 2
  10. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    I like the idea of this being a question
  11. Lissiel

    Lissiel Dreaming dead

    Thats a fair question, its just not the same question as "man or woman" or "feminine person or masculine person"
  12. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I think my issue with the phrasing is that I don't know whether you're referring to how someone looks or how they identify.

    I've been attracted to people who identified as male, female and nonbinary, but the nonbinary and male people I've been attracted to have had the kind of looks that people who want to enforce the gender binary consider "feminine/effeminate" even if they didn't wear dresses or makeup or anything like that.
    • Like x 1
  13. smyxolotl

    smyxolotl a person.

    I wish I could paste this thread into the paper I'm supposed to be writing about issues/potential problems in quantitative research method :p

    Because on one hand, the vagueness is obviously a bit too confusing, but on the other hand this:
    is a very relevant point. And an exhaustive list of answers would be... lots. Would it work to keep the question more or less as it is, and just add a footnote like "however you interpret this, you are right"?
  14. Wiwaxia

    Wiwaxia problematic taxon

    I mean possibly an ideal solution would be one where "other" options that people have typed up get added to the poll as additional options, but i dunno if you can make google surveys do that.
    • Like x 1
  15. oph

    oph There was a user here, but it's gone now

    "Why not both?" is an option, though of course I understand that "why not" is because having 900 tickies on one question would be very silly.

    My point though is, if you are, say, attracted exclusively to butch ladies, then you couldn't very well mark "feminine", but if the majority of people are assuming that "masculine" is probably "men and masculine NB people" then "masculine" is also not accurate.

    I don't know how common that set of circumstances is, particularly on a forum like Kintsugi, but it's an issue to consider.

    What if two questions, one for "gender" and one for "presentation", both using "masculine" and "feminine"? More data is always more good, in my opinion, and that solves the "having to ask if you like dick" problem. Putting the terms into a context solves the confusion issue.
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2015
    • Like x 1
  16. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    I kind of want to avoid increasing specificity in the romance/sex questions, because 1) other people's sex lives don't interest me that much 2) there are a lot of times that attraction is going to be based on things other than purely gender presentation (common interests, personality, eye color, w/e). Like, if someone only wants to date people who smell like that one Yankee Candle and wear plaid and either can or try to grow giant beards, then it'd make sense to mark 'masculine' on the romance question. If they only wanna bang their lumberjack significant other if they have a (factory original or aftermarket) dick and a tattoo of the Virgin Mary, whether they would answer 'masculine people' or 'only under certain circumstances' is between them and their own personal God and I neither want to know nor want to design any kind of polling question that would accurately represent that particular dilemma.

    To go with your example, if a particular person feels like butch ladies is the correct emphasis, that makes one option fit better. If they feel the emphasis fits other places, that can make other options fit better. There is also always the 'other' option.

    I've added the note that 'however you interpret this, you are correct.'

    Also tbh the ace person who doesn't date should probably not be the one making the polling questions about romance/sex. orientationoftheday is mostly context-free non-sexual text posts for a reason.
    • Like x 2
  17. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    why not just ticky boxes? then people can select whichever combo of men/women/masc people/femme people seems apropos to them without requiring that you manually add in every possible question.
    • Like x 7
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