I just asked for a year long pause in school because it keeps piling up and I keep not handling it. I feel absolutely miserable because this is the third time I attempted to go to college and failed and I feel so much shame. I don't know what's gonna happen right now - I haven't told my parents, or my landlady, who sublets to me specifically under the condition that I'm a student and doesn't know about my mental health problems, and mostly I just feel regretful that I didn't try hard enough. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I'm in the same boat right now, facing my third leave from school... That end-of-semester feeling where you realize that there's no way you're going to magically catch up somehow is really something, huh... College is built for the young and healthy. The rest of us have to fight for our right to be here. It's not easy, and not everyone survives. I think if you tap out to recover, so you can have the energy to fight another day, that should be respected. It's your right to protect your life. ...Anyway, I'd be happy to swap tips on "how to preserve some of the College Mindset while not actively taking classes" if you want. It can be hard to get back into your coursework after you've spent a year out of the system, but I do think you get better at it with practice...self-studying and that kind of thing...or at least you learn more about what doesn't work for you. I think I've figured out some things that I didn't have figured out before at least.