Embarrassing possibly body/medical things help

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by wolf in the mist, May 10, 2015.

  1. wolf in the mist

    wolf in the mist New Member

    Just gonna spoiler it because it's kinda gross but not related to sex things I'm just upset and embarrassed.

    So. I am afab, if it matters.

    Diagnosed with depression, around 23 years old. CSA survivor. Agender.

    I have always had bladder problems. Mostly of the control sort. My parents used to be angry with me a lot as a child. Peeing the bed was a nightly affair for many, many years. I just couldn't help it. My parents always were angry because they thought I was lazy, but really I just never woke up and never noticed til it was too late.
    It really only got somewhat better in my teens, or at least less frequent. I had a lot of tests done as a kid to figure out what was up with me, but they all said I was fine and healthy. I always had trouble holding it though, and I sometimes cannot tell if I actually have to use the restroom or not. Or at least not until it is PAINFUL, and I cannot get up.

    Embarrassingly enough leaking is a thing that happens sometimes. It's terrible.

    At around 20 I finally seemed to not have the problem anymore. The leaking eh, it happened every so often but not as much. Finally seemed to have an easier time knowing when I had to pee. Yay, not a big deal right?

    Well recently I've had a huge resurgence of the problem. Every few months, I end up peeing the bed. Like I'm a little kid again. I've ruined several mattresses over my life, and when I was in school when I was younger sometimes I still smelled bad because I couldn't wash off the smell before school.

    Well it's even more embarrassing as an adult. Recently I have also had a huge resurgence of the inability to tell I have to pee. Which is resulting in some NOT FUN experiences at home and work. I haven't peed myself in many, many years but uh, well I accidentally peed myself today while sitting at my desk on my computer. It's humiliating to think about. I have no idea what the fuck to do.

    Do I go to a doctor??? Do I keep a timer to tell me to get up??? I have no fucking idea but at this point I feel like I can't be around anyone or do anything for fear of this becoming a repeating offense.
  2. rorleuaisen

    rorleuaisen Frozen Dreamer

    Doctor would probably be a good idea if you can do that. I'm not really knowledgeable in the field, but high stress is known bring problems like that back. So, you may have just been triggered by stressors.

    There's also quite a few products on the market you could purchase in the mean time(depends, pads for beds ect). I work for the elderly and they typically have us check them every two hours, if you needed a starting time frame.
  3. Emma

    Emma Your resident resident

    Yes, go to a doctor.

    And *hugs* I too wet my bed for years, and years and years. It really sucks, doesn't it?
  4. hoarmurath

    hoarmurath Thor's Hammer

    You are not gross.

    *hugs gently*

    I also recommend pads and maybe going every 1.5 hours? Also liquid goes through the body faster if you haven't eaten. At least I find that is what happens with me. And a doctor. Stress can trigger all sorts of reactions in people, after all. I hope they can help.

    Also, a plastic sort of sheet on the bed might help during the night? When my brothers were smaller, that was what we used. This way you will just need to wash the things that can be washed and the mattress should suffer less damage.
  5. Izevel

    Izevel capuchin hacker fucker

    My doctor just prescribed me medication for Overactive Bladder Syndrome. There is definitely help available.

    In practical terms: you can get special mattress pads for enuresis. There are also pads you can wear in your underwear; when my bladder is acting up, I usually just buy extra-thick menstrual pads, which is good if you're embarrassed about bringing incontinence pads to the checkout of a shop. The brand Thinx, which makes washable, reusable underwear that absorb menstrual fluid, is also working on producing an enuresis product (as well as a gender-friendly menstrual line - their current products are feminine-focused).

    It sounds like the number and intensity of your symptoms is very distressing, but it might help to know that problems in this general area are incredibly common, particularly for those of us without penises.
  6. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    I'm not an expert on this but I went poking around for a similar problem a while ago and Kegel exercises are likely to help, although that depends on the part of your bladder that's weaker.
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