Even less sure where to put this

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by seebs, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Meanwhile, someone pointed out that the "people who form this model seem to all be unable to engage on the topic" thing comes across as mean and dismissive. I ... sort of get that? But it's not the intent. It's just that I've never seen that happen in someone with whom I could attain mutual comprehension at all. So I'm sort of thinking "mutually too alien to communicate".
     
  2. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    yeah yeah, sorry about that, i deleted the post as soon as i realized. my mistake.
     
  3. Petra

    Petra space case

    What nazi comparison.
     
  4. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    ... Petra made a comment about the "nazi punching" discourse, I didn't see a comparison made, though.
     
  5. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    Disclaimer that I have mostly skimmed this thread and am heading to bed because I have things to do early, but: social capital does not require that you be aware of it. If you have social capital, in general your opinion will be given more weight and people will come to your defense more. That is a product of how other people see you, not of how you act. If you are not aware of that social capital, you can accidentally bring your supporters down like the wrath of God on people. This is the pattern that I assume people are seeing.
     
    • Like x 9
  6. Petra

    Petra space case

    I specifically said I thought comparing people who punched nazis to nazis was shitty and overdramatic, but that I also thought that in an ideal world violence wouldn't be the solution for stuff except like... medically, like rebreaking a limb to set it.
     
    • Like x 3
  7. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    The social capital thing was in reference to an assertion that someone else would have to have social capital to change my mind. I'm aware that I have some, I don't really know what to do about it, though.
     
  8. Petra

    Petra space case

    And if you're talking to me about not addressing that image posted sorry for not spreading my spoons even further I guess. Now I cannot point out to someone how what they said could be misinterpreted without saying I thought they meant it that way bc I didn't address every post that is offensive on Kintsugi?? I am a very tired person.
     
    • Like x 1
  9. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    In that case, I'm talking about the "Every forum I've made has had people complain about how awful I was as a mod" thing. I don't even think you're a particularly bad mod but I guess it's your moderation style, IDK. shrugs

    And yeah, the nazi comparison was unfortunate, but it was the one relevant reaction image I had and I did point out it was really downplayed in that case. I just have a really bad reaction to "You got mad at me so I win!" because it's a tactic my parents use all the time.
     
  10. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    that's fine, my tone wasn't one of :/ more 'did you miss this or smth?' because, you know.
    thank you for your time
     
  11. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    ...why do i have to explain the idea that
    "maybe it's not okay to use reaction images with hitler in them" i'm tired
     
    • Like x 2
  12. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    So, @seebs , a thing that happened in the last thread:


    LT: I don't like or agree with a lot of Kintsugi stuff, especially seebs

    Seebs: People keep saying that and they're wrong, at least as far as I can tell because none of them or any onlookers can explain it to me

    LT: kay but I don't want to talk to you

    Seebs: I am earnestly curious about this and am going to quote and respond to things I am curious about.

    Onlookers: despair, because the owner of the forum has decided that their curiosity is worth pursuing even when the thread op has already declared intent not to engage, so what possible result can the forum owner be looking for? Not the reasonable one of getting answers from the person who isn't responding. Which leaves unreasonable, uncharitable theories. Like Seebs trying to pressure the thread op into giving the wanted answer, a one-person dogpile. Or Seebs trying to get onlookers to give the looked-for responses... in someone else's vent thread. Without the okay of the thread's op.


    I'm glad you moved the derail. That at least minimized what could have been worse.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2017
    • Like x 10
  13. mahina

    mahina spooky scary bpder

    "My parents are huge pieces of shit" is not a good excuse for comparing a jewish woman to hitler, by the way.
     
    • Like x 2
  14. Ana Nimus

    Ana Nimus Well-Known Member

    Have you considered that you're repeatedly misunderstanding the criticisms and lumping them all together under "people think im obsessed with status when I don't see status at all!"?
     
    • Like x 6
  15. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    It's not just "complain about me being awful", but "complain specifically that I'm status-obsessed and trying to use social status to hurt people". That's the thing that seems really weird, because clearly they're picking that up from something, but I can't see it well enough to even figure out what.
     
  16. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Maybe? I'm sorta flying blind because this happens with people who can't/won't answer clarifying questions. So I basically have only bits and pieces of what they say to work with, and I can't tell whether a plain face-value reading is even close.
     
  17. Ana Nimus

    Ana Nimus Well-Known Member

    pls show where LT was saying that you're status-obsessed and trying to use social status to hurt people
     
  18. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Wait, who are you talking about here?
     
  19. Petra

    Petra space case

    Suggestion: words are hard but in the future definitely use your words instead of using a strawman macro with the inclusion of badly drawn Hitler. Even just pre-write a few sentences to copy and paste if you need to. Going 'I don't think getting mad inherently makes you wrong and calmness inherently makes you right and would prefer people engage with the actual arguments I'm making' goes a long way.

    You were way out of line, btw, I am just offering an alternative.
     
    • Like x 8
  20. rje

    rje here comes the sun

    @seebs
    I believe people may feel that when you bring up "this number of people have all told me similar things and none of them can tell me why they think it", it's a sneaky/subtle way of saying "you're one of THOSE people, who say this about me but can't back it up with evidence, aren't you?" which can make the person feel a few ways:
    1. That you're going to dismiss what they have to say bc you think they're part of an anti-seebs groupthink (an idea they may extrapolate from how you're describing this group)
    2. You're going to dismiss what they have to say bc you think they're going at you for reasons they're not saying, so they're arguing in bad faith

    And i think maybe the status thing is bc comparing them to a nebukous 'group' takes away their percieved status to you?

    I mean I don't agree (with the status thing) but I can believe ppl seeing it this way if you say things in such a manner it gives the impression you have ulterior motives behind your words.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2017
    • Like x 8
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