Hey y'all, So I'm converting to Judaism! I began thinking about this last June, I started attending synagogue regularly this June, and began the actual process in August. It's completely not what I expected to happen in my life - I don't have family or cultural ties, the closest thing to a Jewish heritage was watching the Holiday Armadillo episode of Friends - but I'm really happy to be going into it. I didn't tell my family about this until I was certain, though. I have a history of impulsive ideas, and I wanted to be absolutely sure I was committed to this one before I opened myself up to them. Which had its own downside, because it came out of absolutely nowhere for them and everyone was blindsided. My dad just took it in stride and accepted it. My brother wanted to understand how I'd got there, but is happy for me. Mum was initially cautious/wary, but over the last few months she's adjusted to things and is now buying me a siddur for Christmas. (My approach to religion has never been simple.) This leaves my big sister. Her initial response was to grill me to see if I was actually taking this seriously, which I didn't appreciate but she's a big sister so I let it go and just answered truthfully that yeah, I was committed to this. She seemed happy for me, and I hoped that was that. That wasn't that. First I find out that she texted our mutual friends to tell them about this, and when they asked she said it was "Ian being Ian". Again, I don't appreciate this, but not much I can do. But when I mention something to do with Judaism, she laughs, or says "RIGHT, I forgot about THAT", or "why aren't you seeing x on Saturday?" "I'll be at the synagogue" "Oh RIGHT, I forgot you couldn't do anything on the SABBATH" "...that's just when services are". I get that this is probably because it's weird and new for her, partly because I don't talk to her about it all that much. But that's because she makes it weird! I tried to confront her about this after the weird Sabbath comment, but it ended up turning into another demand for me to justify my conversion and that I was taking this seriously. And she didn't apologise. And she's continued to do it. Folks she is coming home for the holidays soon and I need to be able to mention Judaism out loud without her giving me reason to commit a felony. My current instinct is to get a can of pennies and shake it at her ear whenever she does it but I'd be happy to take any other suggestions or advice you may have.
My only-half-joking suggestion is to feed her sufganiyot until she loses the will to bitch. The serious part of that comes from the idea that feeding people is seen as a peacemaking thing, and so she's probably primed to feel like she can't be quite as aggressive while food is happening. Another part of it is that it's a way to be super aggressively Jewish in a way she can't object to without looking extremely ridiculous. It's also a symbolic thing - by accepting the jelly donut she is accepting your faith, and who's going to turn down a jelly donut? Another suggestion would be to contribute hannukah decorations around the house in addition to whatever other stuff your family does - the holiday party I went to yesterday had a Star Wars themed Christmas tree in the living room and dreidel stuff (some decorations, a couple actual dreidels sitting on the table) in the dining room, and it just kind of contributed to the festivities (they also had penguins on a chair and some snowflakes on the windows for some more secular stuff). That would help normalize it as a part of your life that exists apart from her. If you think she's likely to make it a thing, though, you could also take her aside when she gets there and ask her to not do that shit in front of your parents because you know she doesn't accept your faith but you Want The Holidays To Be Nice For Your Parents. Which should help at least some if only because it implies that she's being inconsiderate of other people and a less filial child than you, and I'm lead to believe that framing things as a competition is a way to make things work with siblings. Good luck!
