Feeling shitty about my weight.

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by ChelG, Feb 3, 2017.

  1. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I'm huge and I feel super gross and my trying to find comforting stuff online just found hate. I compulsively overeat and my diet is limited because of autism. Can someone say something comforting?
     
  2. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    You have inherent worth as a person that is not dependent on the size you wear or the food you eat. People who measure your worth as a person by those things are bigots, plain and simple. You deserve comfort and respect.

    You're a familiar name around the forum to me now, and I enjoy reading your posts. You seem like a cool person and I'm glad you hang out here.
     
    • Like x 6
  3. witchknights

    witchknights 27 Bold Enchanter Defends The Fearful

    from a fat compulsive eater to another:

    you're not gross. your worth as a person has nothing to do with your size - you exist for more than fitting into arbitrary standards.
     
    • Like x 5
  4. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    Agreed with these good posts that your worth as a person has nothing to do with your weight or the food you eat. Anyone who tells you otherwise is an asshole making fart noises.
     
    • Like x 4
  5. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Thanks, everyone. I'm a little bit scared for my health, too. I don't know how scared I should be. I feel pretty much fine, and my whole immediate family's kinda big and perfectly healthy, and I have heard conflicting info on the accuracy of studies of effects of weight on health. I intend to try to cut down for mental health and financial reasons too. I buy too much junk food and get upset about being fat and wasting money, and I eat it to calm down, and then I buy more :(
     
  6. valenstyne

    valenstyne Went out for cigarettes, never came back

    You're a cool person and you deserve to feel better about yourself, no matter what you eat or how much you weigh. Don't believe anyone who says otherwise, they are lying liars who lie.
     
    • Like x 2
  7. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    I'm all for trying to improve for health or financial reasons, and I hope you have some success. Just remember, you're still worthy and good no matter what.
     
    • Like x 3
  8. witchknights

    witchknights 27 Bold Enchanter Defends The Fearful

    crash diets for Losing Weight are a lot more dangerous for the body than focusing on making healthier lifestyle choices gradually and not worrying that much about the numbers, simply because they're more stressful for the body.

    Do you want someone to talk to about this, er, binge-eating-depression-cycle? because i was in a situation pretty much like yours a couple years ago and while i'm not a therapist or anything, i understand the feeling and stuff.
     
    • Like x 3
  9. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I couldn't crash diet if I wanted to, no problem there. I intend to cut down on buying junk food. I keep feeling like being sad is a reason to stuff my face and I keep going "just this once", but there will always be a reason to be sad and I can't keep using that as an excuse.
     
    • Like x 2
  10. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    What are some other things you like to do? Things that make you happy?
     
  11. witchknights

    witchknights 27 Bold Enchanter Defends The Fearful

    yeah, redirecting that feeling is hard. if you use junk food as a pick me up - have you tried making homemade? do you have the spoons for that? cause surprisingly i ate a lot less when i switched from stress eating to stress baking.
     
    • Like x 4
  12. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    Fuck, man, feeling that stress baking vibe. Now I still stress bake but like, healthier recipes now.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like x 1
  13. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    If I home bake I tend to do it once and then the remaining ingredients go bad before I pluck up the spoons to bake again :( I found some flour which had been in my cupboard for a full year and was going mouldy and I left eggs in my fridge for a month before throwing them out (I hate eggs). I don't wanna do that again if I can avoid it.
     
  14. An Actual Bird

    An Actual Bird neverthelass, Brid persisted, ate third baggel

    oh man, our hats are so similar one could almost say they are.......the same. something that's been sort-of working for me is making tea whenever I get the urge to stress-eat. of course that only works if you like tea.

    fistbunps on trying to cut out junk. it's okay if you struggle or lose willpower sometimes, so try not to feel too guilty. i hope this is helpful? i'm bad at comfort
     
  15. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I do like some kinds of tea - green and camomile are the only ones I know I like, maybe I should try some others.
     
    • Like x 1
  16. valenstyne

    valenstyne Went out for cigarettes, never came back

    For eggs specifically, there's a number of less prone-to-spoil things they can be replaced with in most baked goods. I've got a chart thingy here somewhere, uh

    Here we go!
    tumblr_inline_o3ukrr60SC1s6ng4s_540.jpg
    (click for bigger)
     
    • Like x 1
  17. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I feel really gross and frumpy in general. I can't afford much in the way of clothes, and because I'm so big I can't get the styles of clothes I want at all. I want to do something with my hair and maybe try some makeup, but I really hate wasting time on it even though I have endless time because I'm not employed, and my sensory issues mean makeup and hair products itch like hell and hair bands and clips actively hurt.
     
  18. Kittenly

    Kittenly Just Squish That Cat!

    Same hat. I can't wear makeup at all with my sensory issues, and getting decent clothes while unemployed is shitty. If you don't mind me asking, what is your source of income? Is there anything you can put away for a bit to save up for some clothes that will fit you better, or parents/friends you could ask to buy you some clothes? It seems silly (at least to me) but having clothes that fit you and are flattering makes me feel so much better, even if I'm just sitting at home, continuing to be unemployed. Shops like Torrid and Dress Barn are my favorites, as they specifically cater to fat women.

    It's not fair that we're so limited in our shop options (especially because it means they're typically more expensive/harder to find second hand). But /if/ you can manage it, Torrid is always running sales, and the people who staff their shops are almost all really nice, understanding fat girls. Half of Dress Barn's considerable stock is 16+, and I've had great luck there. That can be hard for people who don't like to present femme of course.

    As for hair, I find super short cuts (pixies, bobs) the best because I hate spending time on my hair. It's insta-cute with next to no maintenance and you actually use a lot less shampoo/conditioner.

    Food is tricky. What kind of foods /do/ you like? Both sweets and meals. Like Witchknights, I find that cooking at home makes me eat a lot less.
     
    • Like x 2
  19. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Clothes that fit you properly and that you like the style of definitely go a long way towards better self image, seconding that.

    I have a terrible sweet tooth so I started making fruit smoothies instead of eating candy all the time, or getting those cups of apple sauce. If you can find something that satisfies the snacking urge that you like that's a bit healthier, it can help. Then you don't have to feel guilty about snacking in general.

    I think a big reason why diets don't work is this idea that you can abruptly change your eating habits all of a sudden. That's both difficult and unhealthy. Gradual change is better overall, and unless you have an actual medical issue or allergy you don't have to give up "unhealthy" food completely, it's just about trying for balance and moderation.
     
    • Like x 2
  20. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    I'm on Employment Support Allowance. A substantial chunk of the money ends up going on bus fare to get places because I can't drive.

    I'm afraid those specific shops aren't much use, I'm in England. We have our own plus-size shops but I hate the styles most of them have. I look like a nursery school teacher in florals and that's basically all a lot of them have, and big floppy shapeless stuff flatters nobody. I'm feeling frumpy because most of what I own is T-shirts. Nice plain collared blouses with no embroidery are super hard to find these days. And I have the other issue of having pet rats and forgetting to set aside special clothes to use when playing with them so half my clothes now have big gnawed holes in them.

    My hair's in an okay style, though I think it needs a trim. I want to dye it but it's brown; I don't really want to risk bleaching, but dyeing without it makes it look horrible, coloured spray doesn't show up at all, and coloured extensions have to be clipped in and hurt.

    My actual meals are sort of okay; I can eat vegetables raw but not cooked, squishy food makes me throw up. I get decent carbs and protein - whole grains and lean meat - but I tend to gorge on dairy and sugar.
     
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