If you ever read Highlights as a kid, you probably remember Goofus And Gallant. For those who don't, here's a summary, courtesy of Wikipedia: So basically, Gallant is the guy who does shit right, and Goofus is kind of a dick. Now, on a forum I went to many years ago, we did a game based on this. While in the comic itself, Goofus' actions come first, we would use Gallant's actions as a starting point, then the next person would reply with Goofus' response--as humorously as possible, mind you. Here's an example, to get you started: Person A: Gallant makes sure to dress well for his job interview. Person B: Goofus thinks wearing pants at all counts as dressing well. Gallant is always willing to help his friends. Person C: Goofus sees his friend having a heart attack and takes a video of it to post on YouTube. When Gallant sees a homeless person, he pops into the nearest store to get them something to eat. And so on and so forth. Goofus can be as awful as you want--the sky's the limit! So, to start... Gallant politely compliments his coworker on her new dress.
Goofus wears the same dress and still insists his is better. Gallant cleans up after his dog on walks.
Goofus just lets his dog shit all over his house and never cleans it up, and gets mad at the dog when he steps in dog poop. Gallant cares about social issues, but is reasonable about them and doesn't use them as an excuse to be a jerk.
Goofus literally flips the table when he loses his first pawn and then you never find one of the white Bishops again. Gallant holds the door open for people behind him.
Goofus deliberately lets the door hit the person behind him, and in fact has devised a points system for creatively slamming the door in people's faces. Gallant puts things on the grocery list when he sees they're out or almost out.
Goofus eats the last of your favourite ice cream and leaves the empty container in the freezer so you don't even know it's gone until you go to finish it off yourself. Gallant waits in line patiently until it is his turn.
Goofus steals shit out of your grocery cart so you have to leave the line for the thing you "forgot". Gallant always has exact change when he pays with cash.
Goofus pays for .50£ purchases with 100£ bills and always makes sure only to buy things when the line is already way too long. Gallant always returns his library books on time and in pristine condition.
Goofus views libraries as free sources of kindling and also chew toys for his dog. He returns the horrible carcasses of his library books three years after they're due. Gallant makes polite small talk with his coworkers and classmates.
Goofus brags loudly, at length and with improbable detail about the smokin' hot chick he totally nailed, you guys, with dramatic hip-thrusting, ass-slapping reenactments while leering at every other girl in the office breakroom. Goofus is on his fifth sexual harassment write-up. Gallant rinses his dishes off before putting them in the dishwasher, and runs the dishwasher at regular intervals when needed.
Goofus puts his used dishes in the sink until the whole thing is full of soggy food bits and then insists it's your turn to clean them. Gallant always washes his hands after he uses the bathroom.
Goofus pisses everywhere but the urinal. Gallant always pushes in his chairs when he gets up from a table.
Goofus carefully calculates how far to leave the chair out, to make sure someone will trip over it. Gallant enjoys playing video games with his friends.
Goofus enjoys playing videogames with his friends, but that videogame is SBURB. Gallant collects rocks, making sure he has permission from the landowner before doing so.
Goofus dumps particularly large boulders on public walkways without the landowner's permission. Gallant makes sure never to share other people's details without permission.
(i was not expecting that goofus answer avery holy shit XD) No one is even willing to share personal details with Goofus anymore. We'll just leave it at that. Gallant goes to Pokemon tournaments, and always congratulates his opponents for doing well, win or lose.
@Avery Goofus insists on turning the leftovers, chairs, table and dishes of every meal into an avant garde modern art piece he insists is a commentary on whatever Tumblr has deemed Most Problematique this week in a convoluted effort to avoid cleanup duty. Gallant is never, ever going to get the cranberry sauce out of the upholstery. Fake Edit: Ninja'd, so instead... @Acey Goofus is every screaming 12yo on Halo at the same time. NINJA'D AGAIN! @Avery Goofus plants rocks in strategic areas of his neighbors' yards so their lawnmowers turn them into window-shattering shrapnel Son of a bitch, ninja'd again again. @Sol Goofus runs and moderates a revenge porn site, which also has embedded malware with which to steal viewers' identities. Gallant switches the wet laundry into the dryer and folds the dry clothes as soon as the timer goes off. Real edit: Are you KIDDING ME?! AGAIN?
Goofus never does his laundry. Ever. At all. Gallant helps his peers with their homework, but doesn't let them cheat.
