friendships ending without bpd

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by townghost, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. townghost

    townghost mystery crab

    i just wanted to ask as a person with bpd what it's like to lose a friend you didn't want to. please tell me about your emotional experience.

    friendships ending
    letting go
    watching someone drift away
    being a temporary friend

    what emotions do you go through
  2. whyguy

    whyguy blarg

    with the sort of friendships that end gradually, I've tended to feel a good amount of guilt for not reaching out more. historically, I've had a hard time remembering that this sort of thing is a two to tango situation and tended to blame myself mostly, but I've gotten a little better at putting things into perspective the last couple years

    the friendships that have ended because of a specific issue, I tend to feel some combination of sad and fear, often a fear of being made to justify my discomfort. also sometimes relief, if I was especially stressed out. I don't have bpd, but I do have a tendency toward codependence, so it's easy for me to wind up in situations where I offer way more of myself than is actually good for me, and it takes a while for me to figure out that it's actually affecting me.

    I'm mostly alright with situations where I'm friends with someone temporarily, like for instance at a summer camp or something. I feel a little sad to not be around them anymore, and wistful, but mostly I am just glad I have the memory.

    I hope that helps!
    • Informative x 1
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