"Gallows Humor"

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Maya, May 30, 2020.

  1. Maya

    Maya smug_anime_girl.jpg

    Well since you so kindly offered because yes we are having this argument :D

    Well before I "bitch about you" I may as well say thank you for this. Kinda wish you had left it there but they can't all be winners.

    Yknow I havent talked to you much in quite a while and I gotta ask: the fuck? I've said far worse to you than what I did and you've never reacted like this. Genuinely: are you, like, good?

    Okay so onto my actual argument here. I GET that you are feeling things right now. I get that you may be grieving. I think all of us are feeling shitty in some capacity right now, because it's a shitty situation all around and no matter our emotional closeness to the trigger event, it's a bad time for us all mental health wise if we're not 100% in Trump and his goons's camps. And I don't want to invalidate that. I GET that you're hurting seeing this happen to something you clearly consider important to you. That's not my issue here. You are allowed to feel those things and talk about them.

    however, how fucking ever, if you absolutely feel the need to talk about this right now, you have got to find a better place to do it than a public thread on the foot of a gallows humor joke you, in my opinion, have no right to be making as a white person. I would prefer you had not made the joke at all but I'll take the above admission of it having at least be hidden.

    Broadly speaking, the things you have said are far, far better off in a vent thread. Or, better yet, to a friend willing to listen and help. It's okay to feel things, it is not okay to try and control the conversation by telling us to "fuck right off" when we criticize a shitty move you made. It is not okay to make this situation all about you and what you are feeling, not on a public forum. It is. Not. About. You.

    If your attempt at a joke had been about the damage to the city of Minneapolis, I'm sure people here would have understood. However, it wasn't. Your attempt at a joke directly targetted the trigger event that was George Floyd's murder. That is not your place to joke about. You are white. In my opinion any jokes right now aren't gonna land no matter who they come from since the wound is so fresh, but it is extremely inappropriate to make it as a white person. It does not come off as gallows humor, it comes off as a mockery of the murder of yet another black man by police.

    But hey, what do I know. I'm just a random bystander. Yknow, despite being on this forum for nearly 4 years.

    Even putting all that aside though, do you even realize that your entire handling of the situation thus far has been... bad? Like, I just genuinely don't think now is the time to gawk at the fact that the officers involved were fired and one (note that: one) has been charged with 3rd degree murder (after significant backlash this morning, I might add. him being charged came after an initial statement that they wouldn't be charging him or the others). I don't think now is the time to balk at damage to a city that will rebuild just fine. Now is the time to stand up and let the government know that we won't stand idly by while they fund the killings of innocent, unarmed black people. Now is the time to balk at our president advocating for state executions on twitter.

    In the words of Ruhel, owner of Gandhi Mahal: "Let my building burn. Justice needs to be served."
    • Agree x 11
    • Witnessed x 1
  2. latitans

    latitans zounds, scoob

    I think I was the random bystander if that changes anything lol
  3. Maya

    Maya smug_anime_girl.jpg

    oh yeah thats fair forgot post mod was a thing for a second

    still gonna meme tho. ftr im sorry you got told off like that like that was so not appropriate regardless of who it was directed at. but like... i see you around quite a fair amount i feel? so i also def wouldnt consider you a "random bystander"
    • Agree x 4
  4. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Another random bystander popping in here to second all of this. I genuinely don't feel that anything that was said to seebs here was hostile. It was heated, yes, but people have a right to be angry and upset right now.
    I've been on this forum for years now, and this kind of communication breakdown seems to happen whenever someone criticizes a thing seebs says or does. And it's getting really frustrating.
    • Agree x 9
  5. latitans

    latitans zounds, scoob

    I mean I would admit to being straight up hostile, because it did upset me and I feel like it would be counterproductive or dishonest to not claim my anger

    but I can see the use of a conversation about forum culture re: responding to criticism, especially criticism about like real shit
    • Agree x 4
    • Like x 1
  6. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    That’s our word.
    I found this upsetting in addition to the things people have mentioned upthread. The connotation here is that everyone who is upset with your behavior is a whiny, naggy bitch, and I don’t think that’s accurate for the rest of these fine people.
    • Agree x 9
  7. rats

    rats 21 Bright Forge Shatters The Void

    was the "joke" heinous and unforgivable? no. was it in EXTREMELY poor taste and made a lot of people, including me, very uncomfortable given what's going on rn? yes. it would be helpful for you to acknowledge that you understand WHY people are upset, at the very least, beyond the "gallows humor behind spoiler tag" admission.
    • Agree x 13
  8. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    Hell, I'm going to be That Stupid White Twink and say that, I can accept it is Seebs style Gallows Humor that was needed in the moment to cope with the horror of what is happening- not just the damage to the city and community, but the initial death by police and all of the fall out there linked. HOWEVER (big BIG however) that sort of gallows humor would have been best kept to private channels with people that know you, are used to and appreciative of your brand of humor and not at risk of being hurt by it, and NOT used on a public forum.
    • Agree x 8
  9. rats

    rats 21 Bright Forge Shatters The Void

    yeah i agree more with lizardlicks point beyond anything else i said.
  10. context-free anon

    context-free anon Well-Known Member

    that highlights a big part of the problem: seebs clearly regards kintsugi as a private channel with people who know him, which may have been the case when it was first created, but given how many people use kintsugi nowadays and how rarely he posts it's just not that any more
    • Agree x 9
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