The journalling, that is. The exercise is not half-assed, I'm trying hard, and I have no illusions about actually halving my ass without serious bone structure damage. Okay, been dancing for over a year but I sort of plateau'd at it. The class isn't very high-impact, so it's not making much difference anymore, and a lot of the stuff it involves I can't do because I'm too big. It takes longer to make certain movements so I can't stay in tune, and my flexibility's reduced. So I figured it was time to start at the gym, and I've been twice and done well. The trainer there is really nice, he's helped me try out a few different things, and if I have to report to him I'll have a motive for doing better the rest of the week too. Weighed myself for the first time in years today, and it was bad but not that bad. 308 pounds is way too much for my height even with my basically square skeleton, but I thought it would be worse. First goal, see how long it takes to drop out of the 300 club. Healthiest weight change is a pound a week or so; I can probably do that. Second, fix my back pain. I stand badly because I have to balance my weird weight distribution, and that absolutely wrecks my back when I walk, which results in me not walking, which makes my weight go up and thus makes the problem worse. Promised the trainer I'd do ten reps of ten-second holds for two different back stretches each day, which I think I'm more likely to stick to than the "here's a long sheet of different exercises, go try them out on your own" from the doctor. Still eating way too much junk, but I'm making a point of eating more greens. I bought some sugar-free yoghurt and lots of fruit for if I really need a snack. My arm flab already seems to have shrunk a lot. I guess it was less fat there and more loose/weak muscle? I'll add in some arm stretches too.
I've been standing/sitting slightly straighter all day. Back still aches after walking but it took longer to start. Will do the stretches and see if it keeps up.
Still eating junk, but rearranging actual meals a bit. I drink about half a carton of juice per day and there's a ton of sugar in that, plus it stops "counting" as a fruit portion after a certain amount because there's no fibre in it, so I'm switching to having a small cup of juice and a big cup of water at dinnertime.
Advice is to eat vegetables of different colours. I've got most of them but I'm struggling with blue, white, and brown. Need to try different stuff.
I can make home-made oven chips, healthier than deep-fried takeout ones if I must have them. Need to try cooking spuds a couple different ways.
Wearing a pedometer. Daily life barely breaks a thousand steps so I went for a walk, made it past four thousand. Less than half the recommended amount but it's a start.
Sharp improvement from last week at dance class. Yay! Bought some mushrooms to try. Ate one raw; it's not horrible, but the texture is how I imagine it would feel to bite into a dick. It's unnerving. Best try cooking them a few different ways.
PT's given me a couple more exercises to do. Dance class is cancelled for the next two weeks so I'm going to go swimming instead, if my stupid irregular period cooperates. I see women twice my size and I think they look amazing, but I feel like a misshapen blob :(
The pretty fat girls I'm so jealous of are all performing femininity to a degree I just can't, and I think that has something to do with it. Maybe if I was more comfortable with my presentation I'd feel less ugly all the time.
Trying lentil-flour and pea-flour pastas. The caloric difference is negligible and they taste a little bit off, but there's more protein in the lentil one so I can cut down on meat, and it's a way to get vegetables into my face.
Been making sure to walk more; I'm walking home from the gym, and walked both to and from my Nan's house (might as well while it's still daylight in the afternoons). My backaches have almost completely gone! Gym trainer says I had my best workout ever today. Talking about politics while hitting the punching bag means I can keep going a lot longer, apparently.
Okay, cut down on cheese because I was eating about twice as much dairy as is recommended, and that's not gonna help. Trouble is cheese is filling, and I'm hungry now >:(
