oooooo boy. Debated putting this in 'brains' or 'ita' forums but ultimately decided on general advice because I can't decide and its not too awful i think? Okay so to be upfront: I have a not-quite-final diagnosis for some form of Rheumatoid illness. I'm seronegative so there is not much my gp can do and he seems slightly unwilling to get me into treatments that could potentially make the baby factory malfunction (yay for afab medical bullshit). (There is also some other bullshit about bloodpressure, photosensitivity that may be autism related (but i totally don't have autism, according to mom), skin problems and hair and nail breakage, etc etc. Basically my body is super unhappy with me...) Now this winter had me see a big decline in my ability to get around without being in constant pain. As we're speaking I am contemplating taking painkillers for the fourth day in a row as someone who is barely on prescribed pain meds at all. My mother has recently started blaming herself for this because RA and related illnesses could have genetic predispositions (scientists are unsure but think its likely afaik?) and so it is 100% her fault because she has RA and still decided to have children. Nevermind that when she had me she didn't know she had RA. And it kind of hurts when she says that in the distant way that i dont like emotional distress near me and can't deal very well with it but since it has come up more than three times by now I think I might be failing at communicating 'No mom, when I say I am hurting or feeling bad, I'm not blaming you, its simply an expression of distress and unhappiness that means nothing at all' suggestions?