So, I'm finally making a Braiiiins thread wrt this thing. Took me long enough. I would like some help with this thing, it's been a problem for so fucking long. Every so often, some friend or another, let's call them Person A, makes a comment, or states their opinion on a thing. Be it political (a lot of the times it's political), or a comment on what someone else said, or criticizes something (could be anything from an idea to a person to a movie). The point is, at some level, what they said might be seen by some to be controversial. Person B, some other friend, has a habit of finding the topic Person A chose to be very sensitive, or they tend to find opinions similar to A's triggering, or maybe they think those opinions that A unapologetically holds are Bad Opinions, toxic beliefs that are harmful to them personally. I use generic names like these not necessarily to hide anyone's identity, but because I've had many Person A's and many Person B's who were and are my friends If Person A says their opinion within Person B's hearing range (groupchat, forum, Tumblr post, whatever), then I immediately panic. Or, at the very least, spiral. I get this overwhelming dread, feeling of "oh no things are gonna go Bad", I get this weird burning chill in my face and back, by breathing gets all wonky, I get dizzy/nauseous, you get the picture. One of the thoughts I spiral around is "who is right? What opinions are okay to have? Cause there are some opinions that are clearly Not Okay to have, but... do Person A's opinions fall under that category? If so... then agreeing with Person A, or finding their views "not horrible", makes me horrible. Not to mention I might be hurting Person B. If they don't fall under that category... how do I know? How do I find these views acceptable while Person B is visibly being hurt by them? Will I need to choose between the two? Can I ignore this completely? I could, but if I completely ignore all of Person A's opinions and Person B's reactions then am I even still their friend at that point? That's not even touching the fact that maybe I'm overestimating and A and B don't fight over this. How do I figure out when it'll lead to a fight and when it won't? I've had so many examples of all of the above happening and all of the above not happening and I can't tell them apart. I want to stop feeling like crap every time there's even a chance that one of these situations will happen and I don't know how to.