How to be a human?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Arxon, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Alright, long, multipart question on how to function like an actual adult/human/existence, filled with me setting up roadblocks and generally being kind of whiney.


    I am a really terrible procrastinator. Part of it is that I have a lot of trouble with deadlines- I kind of don’t realize how close something is until it’s, like, three hours away. Part of it is that I have a hard time convincing myself that the busywork is necessary. Part of it- especially with things like math- is that it’s really hard to convince myself to do things that are almost physically painful to do- doing math above elementary algebra is seriously one of the most frustrating, stressful things in the world for me. Things like bribing myself to do homework kind of doesn’t work because I’m always just like, “...wait, there’s nothing keeping me from having the reward now.” Are there any other good tips?

    Doing Chores

    Kind of the same deal as above, but with added, “Wait I was going to do this but then I got distracted by the book on my desk/the song that came up on my ipod/the next post on my dash that I saw as I was about to close the comp.”

    Eating Well

    My diet is really really terrible, and as far as I can tell it’s because a) there’s a lot of texture stuff- whole grain or multigrain bread has those little seeds or w/e in it, a lot vegetables are slimy or stringy or whatever the fuck broccoli has going on b) I am a super picky eater and can’t do bitter or spicy foods c) I eat a lot of comfort food because I spend a lot of time being very sad. I have basically tricked myself into liking avocados by a process of “having it in small amounts with things I like, then larger amounts”- ie having it in sushi, then with tuna salad, and now I won’t like, eat it straight but I’m pretty alright with it. Is there anything I can do like that with other healthy foods? We don’t have a lot of food money- around 300 a month in food stamps, plus whatever we can spare from mom’s costuming gigs- and I am a hilariously bad cook, like, I have to call other people over every other second because I am freaking out over whether I am overdoing the meat or underdoing it and poisoning us all or what if I forgot to do x- which has precedent, because I quite often forget things like “flour” or “sugar” when even making cookies.


    I am basically sedentary. I’m already fat, and I’m always worried that even out walking people are looking at me and judging me and whatnot, let alone actually exercising- even when I’m alone, I get really self conscious and “who are you even kidding, trying to exercise is pointless”. I also get extremely frequent neck pains and shoulder pains that nearly make it too painful to stand up, probably because of posture (side note: does anyone know how to improve posture?), which doesn’t make exercising and getting even more sore seem too tempting. Because I am fat and inherited my moms shitty lungs and anemia on top of it, I get very out of breath and tired very quickly, which on top of sucking makes me even more self conscious. Right now we don’t have any functioning bikes, and every time I’m like “hey, maybe I should buy this bike” (which is aqua and bright raspberry pink and I covet it) dad says that he’s going to repair an old one for me. He’s said that for years. Other points: I kind of super hate doing things like exercising alone, since it tends to leave me alone with my thoughts much more than I like. Also, I have a Thing about hating to just walk for walkings sake- I want to have a purpose, like, to be actually going to a place, otherwise I get super antsy and more often than not without a specific destination and a map I get lost. The problem is that there’s really nothing to DO, especially without spending money, and most of the places around here are food places, which seems to defeat the purpose.

    Making Friends

    I’m super super awkward around people, online and in person. I’ve gone to college for 1 ½ years now and I barely remember anyone’s name, let alone have made friends. I have zero idea how friends are MADE. I’m scared of imposing myself on people or making relationships more than they are because there’s been a lot of times when I’ve thought I was someone’s friend, only to find out that they thought of me as an acquaintance, or that when I was uncomfortable hanging out with my ex people were actually just friends with my ex, not me, or at the very least refused to take sides to the point of “wouldn’t hang out with me without them.” Even when people assure me they’re my friend, I don’t want to spend too much time with them or bother them too much because I’m scared they’ll realize I’m annoying, like my ex did or others did. The downside to this is that I spend a lot of time super, super lonely, and I really don’t know how to deal with that.

    Getting a Job

    This is kind of an amalgam of a bunch of issues listed above- I’m bad with people, I’m lazy, I’m unattractive, I’m insecure, I’m bad at chores, ect. I’m also super clumsy and am constantly checking to make sure I am doing things right, and I frequently turn into a sobbing, shaking wreck because I’m stressed, because someone said something that set me off, because I thought something that set me off, because I failed at a simple task and went into a shame spiral, ect. There’s also basically nothing that I am good at- I’m not coordinated, I move at roughly the speed of molasses, I get stressed easy, I am not a good speaker or writer or artist and I can’t do crafts or anything. I have no idea how I am going to get a job but I know I will have to, not least because my parents are dropping a bunch of hints about it. I just don’t know what to do.

    So, um, I might think of more issues later, but right now this is about all I can get out. Any advice?
  2. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Okay, first off, boy do you sound like stereotypical autism+ADHD, with the complications of low self-esteem from being blamed for them. So I might look at that and what is probably depression as the starting points to work on things, because understanding what your limitations are, and why, and what things might be treatable, would likely help.
    • Like x 1
  3. rorleuaisen

    rorleuaisen Frozen Dreamer

    Homework/chores: I find adding a postive thing helps more than bribing oneself. Like, have icecream while doing homework or listen to music while doing chores.

    Food: I find veggies have a lot to do with how they are prepared. I will not eat canned veggies for example(because they are mush). My preference is for frozen veggies, lightly steamed. When I discovered that green beans and spinach existed in not-can, I was like "why didn't anybody tell me green beans and spinach could actually taste good?!"

    Making friends: it takes a while, but listening helps. Also, do you have any experience acting or exaggerating? Like, I tend to be expressive in a sort of emoticon way. Not with words, but mostly visuals and sounds. It's kinda quirky, but a lot of people tend to find it entertaining/expressive.
  4. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Okay, so I kind of have similar problems with homework and chores. If you're like me, playing music will actually help, but you might have to search around to find the right song.

    Bribing yourself to do stuff doesn't really work, because it can actually just emphasize the fact that this thing is unpleasant and that you have to bribe yourself to get through it. Sometimes I talk myself through doing something. I'm not totally conscious of switching tabs to things I want to do, so if I'm talking myself through whatever I'm doing, I'll catch myself at "hey I wonder what's on tumblr" and be able to switch my gears back.

    If music doesn't help, hunt someone down and ask them for help, or to study together. If I am doing lousy on a thing, I either skip out entirely, or I find a person to learn with.

    - to skip around a bit, on friends:
    Okay, I used to think I was lousy at making friends, and then I realized that I had a bunch of friends, and I started to try to figure out why. So, things I have noticed with friendships:

    If I'm sitting in a class, I have at least one stored up comment in my head about the class or the teacher or the day. The people on either side of me are potential future friends. So, I look around. If I catch someone's eye, great. I wait for a break or for class to end, and try that comment. (This is a pretty long game.) I keep trying that. Remember, in class, you're all a captive audience. Everyone else is probably as bored as you. (This is definitely not a guarantee, but it helps if you have to choose partners, or need help studying.)

    A slightly more direct route is, if you're good at self-deprecation, go for it. Not too much; I'm klutzy as hell, so I drop stuff all the time. Works.
    when you have a semi-established friendship - hang out with them after midnight, if you aren't too tired, or don't have stuff to do the following morning. There's something that happens when people are tired and comfortable that makes them weirdly honest - and also more forgiving. This is a good time to go "Man, I really worry that I'm irritating sometimes." That level of honesty from you pulls them to your level, and stuff gets deep. Also, most friendships seem to be built on a healthy storage of weird inside jokes. A lot of these events happen at this time of night.

    But classes - discussion classes especially - are great for making potential friends, especially if it's around lunch time. If you have the motivation, check out a club or organization. But the biggest thing to remember is that there is someone (at least one someone) on your college campus thinking "man, I wish I could hang out with someone, because I am mongo bad at making friends."

    (Also, if you don't have the ability to talk to people in class, don't worry about it. I've been in college 5 years, and it's a lot of trial and error.)

    I shouldn't be talking to anybody about food or healthy eating, especially since I have very few texture issues, and also I basically eat huge amounts of pizza and sushi. I hear from nutrition friends that mindful eating is important, and so is listening to your body to figure out what you're really hungry for. (I have a problem with popcorn. Like, every night. I took a step back and went - ok, why do you want popcorn right now? It's the salt and the crunch, for me, so I actually switched to cheezits, which makes me feel more like a human when i go to sleep at night.)

    Posture: I've heard that corsets (properly worn) can improve posture and back pain. What works for me is the touch memory of my mom poking me in the back when I slouched, so i don't think that would help. Hmm. If you play a musical instrument, they can help with being aware of posture as well.

    Exercising: Do it while you do other things! Track down some weights or a textbook, and hold them up while studying. Alternate studying with breaks for planks, bicycle crunches, or wall push-ups. (Might help with studying, too, since you can run over what you've been learning, and physical exercise helps with brain function.) Water breaks are just as important, too. Also, you will feel ridiculous the first few times you do these. That's perfectly normal. Exercise positions are all fucking ridiculous. (Yoga is okay...but ok, it still looks completely silly).

    #Whoa that sure is a lot of writing. #If I overstepped my bounds anywhere #please feel free to lay down the sweetest written smackdown of all time
  5. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    ...I actually answered this last, because I was still thinking of what to say, exactly? I really have no idea how to get an appointment with a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist, or even which one I should go to. We've been kind of trying to get me an appointment since I was, like, 12, but due to state healthcare jerking us around or people flat out never returning our calls it's never happened. And once I was there I don't know what to do? I feel like I would just sit there chewing my hair until they got annoyed.

    I tried the ice cream (well, sherbet) thing while doing math, and while I ate the ice cream I did the math. (I gave up several minutes after finishing the ice cream, because math was making me start to cry again)

    Pople keep telling me that, but if it's not the texture thing fucking me over it's the bitter ono. Although tbf I have never had spinach that wasn't from a frozen block. (I have had organically grown, pesticide free green beans straight from the garden and I still didn't like them. The insides are too slimy.)

    Ummm I have some experience acting? I think I am good at it, or at least good enough, but it's kinda that wierd place in school plays where nobody actually ever gave me any crit negative or positive so I dunno if I was good or boring. I really like acting though! Um, tangent, sorry. I also tend to be over expressive, but I think my expressions are weird? People react strangely to me smiling and such.

    Music does help a lot with chores, but it's getting to the point of getting off the computer and doing the chore that's the hardest for me. (I can't do music with homework, it absolutely wrecks my concentration ono)

    Hmmmm, that seems like it might work. I'll try it, thanks!

    Re: friend thing: I don't really have anyone else I can study with, and I'm too nervous to just approach some random person in class or to go to tutoring (that second part might also be a misplaced sense of goddamit I should be able to do this myself.) I definitely know from high school that when I CAN do my work with someone else, I do better and it motivates me more, but I just don't know anybody...

    ...See, I just end up saying these comments out loud, usually. So far the only thing I have found that shuts me up in person is a) people speaking over me or b) being too tired to talk. Half the time I say something out loud without realizing I said it out loud. Also, I have to sit at the front because of eye issues and I'm half blind, so catching people's eye is an issue ;p. I have exchanged words with people, but I have no idea how to expand that into friendship. Like, how do I know if we have similar interests or compatible sense of humor or what?

    People just seem to get annoyed when I self-deprecate. The night time honesty/inside joke stuff might work with some internet peeps, but I'm afraid I've kinda poisoned the well because they've seen all my whining on tumblr and idk, I guess I feel like they'll figure out soon enough that I'm unpleasant.

    I don't even know what the on campus clubs are, because the only way to get info is to go through the club fair and even if it wasn't too crowded for me I feel awkward going up to people and getting info. And I don't know a way to walk up to people and go "so that class, right?!" without then immediately going "ah im sorry never mind don't pay attention to me"

    People say "listen to your body" and I have no clue what it means. Most of the time I eat because I am sad or bored, not because I'm hungry, and even when I am hungry I can't really tell the diff between hungers.

    Idk if corsets would be a texture ok for me, and real ones or so spendy that I can't buy one just to see. Still, that's a good point. I don't play any musical instruments- I was in a couple years of choir and that's about it for musical talent. I can still only sing in one key without serious practice at the song.

    All of my textbooks have been....legally obtained via the internet, so it's hard to hold them up. Weights is a good idea, though. The problem with alternating with studying is that it's taking a break from one thing I hate to another thing I hate...but I'll give it a try. I'm pretty good with stretching, so I might be able to push that into doing lunges and wall sits and stuff like that. Do you have any suggestions for cardio? (also oh my god I don't drink enough water. I kind of don't like the taste, which sounds redic, and also drinking water at a pace faster then a sip a minute makes me feel sick to my stomach)

    ...It wasn't very sweetly written and I apologize. I'm super tired and also kinda a bitch. Nevertheless, thank you very much! You didn't overstep your bounds- I asked, after all- and your advice was very helpful 0u0
  6. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    I want to hit some of these things but i am going to bed soon, so!
    I do not exercise enough, but wall sits and lunges are pretty good. I do a fair amount of crossover crunch punches, which works for me because I channel my anger through hitting things and I haven't been able to do that in like a year. So I can imagine that I'm punching things. I am terrible at push-ups (I can do maybe 5 in a row) but I'm working on getting better, so I do a lot of wall push-ups, which you can do almost anywhere. I'll have to look up the other stuff I do - I stole it all from a boxing class I took once, so I don't remember what any of it's called.

    With water - I have heard that adding a little lemon juice to water can make it taste better, and getting it a little colder than room temperature helps you process it better. I don't know if that's bs or not. i do know that, because i like sour things, the lemon juice in water trick helps me drink it more often

    I did not get any level of bitchiness coming off of this. Maybe a little tiredness, but that was all. So you're cool on that. :)
  7. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Hmm, I'll do some research and see if there is any trick like that for not lemon. The cold one is new, though. I'll try it.

    Thank you! ouo
  8. rorleuaisen

    rorleuaisen Frozen Dreamer

    Now that I'm actually awake!
    Okay, so, you don't have to do icecream specifically, btw. Small candies or chips or something work as well. I also suggest not doing homework to the point that it makes you upset. It kinda programs your brain that homework=unhappiness. It's okay to take a break once your icecream(or what ever) is done. Go do something fun for a bit. Put a timer(you should play around with how long you set it for. I personally would make it somewhere between 15-30 min) on to make sure that you don't completely forget about it(also I find timers make sure that I am not constantly watching the clock or worrying about time). Then you can go back to homework with your icecream/treat. If it still causes you brain burn out, I highly suggest seeking out help(or maybe try doing it the next day depending on your time frame). But if you start putting more positive and less negative with your homework, it cuts down on the emotional drain.

    Barbecue sauce? It's strong, sweet, and only takes a little bit. So you could try adding it to your veggies if you are commited to eating them. Barbecue is my go to flavor hider and it will probably work much better with cooked/softer veggies than hard/fresh. I go ranch for hard/fresh, but I actually love my veggies ^_^

    I'm not as good at the whole friend thing, but I find acting or exaggerating makes me more friendly/relatable/amusing. It kinda helps with the self-esteem thing because you can sort of act around it? I guess I describe it more like a mask and I'm just playing a part. It helps things get started, and once people are more friendly/comfortable with you, you can sort let the mask slip a bit and reveal yourself slowly. Then sort of gauge reactions and adjust slowly. Mind you, I was a quiet insecure thing back in the days, so I don't know if this will help.

    Finding a group usually helps. If you are having trouble making friends in class, there are usually hang out spots for different groups around campus. My college actually had a video game area which was right by where the people who played card games hung out. So, maybe look for some of those types of things? Also, making real friends is kinda hit and miss for me. Some people you connect to, some you don't, and there's not a lot to be done about that. Being interesting will attract initial attention which will help in meeting people, but it doesn't mean you'll actually make friends out of it. So, don't worry too much about it?
  9. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member


    There's very little math I can do without getting extremely frusterated, but I definitely see your point.

    Timers might be good- maybe I can find one that will go something like 30 minutes for study, 15 minutes for not study, hold this pattern for most of Monday. Wednesday, and Sunday? Hm.

    Yeah, this makes a lot of sense.

    Ohhhhh thats a good idea, i just dont know if I could do it without parents getting up in arms about sugary barbecue sauce
    This makes sense and I already kinda do it, but it's kinda super tiring for me and I can't do it very well when stressed, especially when I don't bave a script (I don't do improve well)

    My college is really community college not v many social stuff, but I guess I can go into the area that I think is the student union and see?

    The problem is less "I feel like a failure for not habing friends" and more "I am a social creature that is clnstantly seeking companionship and validation," but I'll try and take this to heart. Thank you!
  10. rorleuaisen

    rorleuaisen Frozen Dreamer

    Yeah, the mask is tiring. I thankfully got the hardest part over with in highschool(the figuring out what is socially okay/not okay and what types of behaviors people like.) I also get a lot of one-on-one practice with the elderly(who are typically pretty nice). College was rougher for me to find friends in because every one was busy.

    My college was also a community college. It wasn't a formal thing, it just happened to be a location(one of the basement levels btw) that those type of people tend to hang out. There are other spots around with different groups. They just sort of collect. This does make them harder to find though, so good luck!
  11. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    In high school I skated by on the principle of "well she answers all the questions in these few classes which means the teacher won't randomly call on me which means I am alright with her" and "wow I am going to pity talk with this girl who bursts into tears at least once a week so that maybe she won't burst into tears and make us all feel awkward today" so I never really learned good socialization there.

    Hmmm, I'll see if I can find something like that + gather up courage to approach. Thanks!
  12. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    Only read a few posts because I am impatient and wanted to say my thing. :P

    The only things I can think of that you didn't mention are:
    1) Breaking your tasks up into smaller tasks. 40 question problem set? No, that's 4 tiny 10 question problem sets.
    I don't know why, but it's easier to digest and get done that way.
    2) Try to work on a 20/10 or 45/15 schedule, where you work for the first amount of minutes, then you spend the next amount of minutes doing something completely different! Ideally this involves getting up and moving around, but just browsing tumblr works too.
    The trick is to actually stay on schedule. I use the timer on my phone. I have trouble with task switching and thought that this would mess up my work flow, and it actually didn't! I can't tell you if I got things done in a quicker amount of time or not, but I felt better while doing it and usually felt more on task. Additionally, my break time was break time, not procrastination. Which allowed me to be guilt free during it, which means I was able to actually reap the benefits.

    Let me tell you the story of how my scheme to make friends went horribly, horribly right.

    So, full disclosure: I'm actually really good at making friends. I'm nice and people tend to like me. I'm a good listener but I talk a lot too, so who even knows. And I really like people and I'm pretty animated and bubbly, so I think it shows.So I assume that they're not usually worried if I like them or not.
    But! I'm only good at making friends when everyone is on the same footing as I am. No one knows each other. First day at camp, orientation week, a party where a lot of social circles merge, the first KGB* event of the semester, etc. I can make a lot of new friends this way!
    (*KGB is the social org at my school that I'm a part of. It's full of nerds who like to have fun, so there's a fair amount of social awkward in the group, but it's fine because we're all awkward.)

    But I am TERRIBLE at making friends when it's me trying to join an already-formed friend group. One of my college friends has a big group of people back home that she's friends with. And I've tried to join them on their IRC, but I just can't do it. I always feel like I'm an outsider and that I'm not actually part of the group until I've been active with them for at least a few years (or long enough that I'm the only one that remembers that I wasn't there when the group started). I moved around a lot as a kid and I've had to go through this multiple times and it's SO HARD. I've also had trouble with online communities too. But more on that in a second.

    Okay, so I wasn't yet a part of KGB, but I knew from other friends who were in it that I would like the group and so I wanted to be. But it was so intimidating because everyone know everyone else really well! And it was a spring semester, so I couldn't even fake being a freshman for trying to join up purposes (spoiler, no one in the group cares about that, but shhh). Oh, but there's this one computer cluster (just called Cluster) that most of the people hang out in while they work. Well, I'm still awkward as fuck, but I can sit in the room and work there while people interact around me. That's almost like socialization, right?
    But then I realized: the last time I joined a new online group, I lurked the boards for about two months before finally posting. I got a feel for everyone else before they even knew I was there. And this worked really well! So I tried to do the same thing here.

    I would do my homework in Cluster because I needed to be on school machines anyways, and these ones had dual monitors + whiteboard walls. And then since Cluster doesn't have a quiet rule, sometimes loud conversations would start. Well if the conversation is loud enough that I can hear it, I join in once and a while with a comment, and then go back to work. Eventually, I was able to learn people's names and majors and interests and such just via osmosis (and I also like categorizing this info already).
    Fast forward a few weeks, I'm in one of these conversations and I go, "Oh, sorry I didn't catch your name." "I'm [name]." "Oh, hi. I'm Re!" "Yeah, I know." .... People knew my name before I knew theirs. I'm still not sure how this happened because it's not like I gave my name a ton, but oh well. xD Basically, I just Suddenly Had Friends.
    Problem? Now I can't actually get work done in Cluster anymore. xD
    I've actually told some of the people in the group this and they think it's hilarious. Some of them even said they did the same thing.

    BASICALLY. My point is, if there's a group on campus you think would be fun to get involved in. Try that! Go in with the intent to be "that quiet kid who sits in the back." Even if you don't talk to anyone, get a feel for everyone else (start simile with names, majors, where they're from, then try to add in what kind of TV shows and such the like and talk about). If people come up and try to socialize before you're ready, try to say yes you're having fun, push through the small talk (have I mentioned names and majors yet, because that is a really common small talk subject at college. :P), and they'll probably move on if you don't engage right away. Maybe even mention that you're shy and you just want to watch for a while. I find that people are generally pretty understanding about that. As long as they think you're having fun, they'll probably leave you alone.
    Then when you start feeling more comfortable, join in the conversation with just a comment here or there to start out, and then more as you get more comfortable.
    A lot of the time, people will consider people they see regularly as at least a kind of friend, so once you start joining in conversations, you'll probably just Suddenly Have Friends. Because by then people are used to seeing you around, now they just finally get to know you.

    I also highly recommend groups that are up front about their awkward. A lot of people in KGB have multi-colored hair, and/or wear a lot of fandom shirts, so it's easy for me to recognize them as the kind of people I like to hang out with.

    Holy shit, that's good advice.
    Piggy-backing off that, misery loves company, so sometimes you can make friends by complaining with people/letting them complain at you about various classes. You gotta be careful with that one though, because it can misfire and you end up complaining too much? I haven't figured that out exactly yet because I only get a misfire some of the time, and only with certain people.
  13. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    Look at the bulletin boards that announce events. If you see an event you think might be fun, it's almost guaranteed to have an organization hosting it, that also hosts other things like it.

    Same! xP Ice or cold water is much easier to keep down, also they have things you add that make it taste better (crystal lite and the such), but I don't like them much. =/

    It's kind of funny because I can only read you as being super sweet. xP

    Ahh, okay so my trick might not completely work, but still. Maybe look at the library or see if there are any non-quiet computer clusters like I mentioned? Especially if you can find a place where people are already talking and hanging out, it's not as weird to go up to them and start talking.
  14. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    Oh, and I kept forgetting. My math skills have deteriorated a lot since high school and I'm not great with Calculus, but if you need help with something, maybe message me and I'll see what I can do? Sometimes all it takes is someone to reword the directions.
  15. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Ohhh that's a good idea. If the breaking up by time doesn't help maybe I can do x amount of problems or paragraphs or whatnot and then set a timer between them?

    Responding to entire thing: That was kind of my strategy in high school, especially in senior year when there was a whole clusterfuck going on and I had to find (and failed to find) a new friend group- but I guess I never stop feeling like an interloper? Like, I always have the feeling of "who am I kidding, I'm intruding on them" or "they're just tolerating me out of pity"- stuff like that. Trying to find a nerdy group would work, but I'm also totally an actual Fake Geek Girl so I dunno how that would work out.

    I am very good at complaining and will take this to heart. (the closest I have gotten to classmates yet is this semester, when there's this one guy in the Asian History class who never stops talking over the teacher and we've all bee complaining about him)

    The most events my school has is shitty garage bands and guest talkers, but then again, I've never been inside the building-that-might-be-a-student-area?

    I've tried that and the only kind I like is fruit punch, because you can give me anything fruit punch flavoured and I'll drink it. But it's spendy. The cld water thing I'll definitely try, though!

    Yaaayyyy thank you the reason I overuse smilies and exclamation marks is because I'm always worried about coming off as mean or short, so thank you very much ouo

    The library is silent and the only other computer rooms are business student only and journalism student only, but I'll look around!

    I would def need to sit in a bunch before I do this, but maybe...

    Usually the problem isn't that I misunderstand what they want, it's that the homework gets up to a whole bunch of numbers and variables and all this other shit and I get confused and flustered and then I feel like an idiot because I should be able to do this so I get stressed and even more flustered, but thank you very much, I'll keep this in mind! (And don't worry, it's not Calculus. I tested into intermediate algebra. I could go on a long story about high school Calculus but it would just be me being bitter)
  16. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart


    Mmm, yeah. I dunno. That's part of why I advocate the people who are up front about their awkward. It's like here. You have a lot of people who are insecure about that stuff, and so they're probably more likely to tell you if you overstep bounds or something. And just be more explicit about social rules in general.
    Heh, I am too, it's okay. xD But yeah, nerd/geek communities can be hard because of that. xP

    Ah yeah that sucks. :( I think that's the best time to step away for a while and do something else if you can. And then come back to it refreshed.
  17. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Ahhhhhh. I'm a total push over when it comes to stuff like that, so I assume a lot of people are, but that makes a lot of sense, yeah.

    ....Which means I shouldn't do it at the last minute- usually that's a lot of my problem. Thank you!
  18. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    Yeah, sometimes you have to do a certain amount of putting those extra rules in place, "let's agree to just say if we feel like someone's doing [x thing we don't like] instead of just trying to hint at it." and it doesn't fix the problem, but it can help...

    Ahaha yeah. procrastination my best-worst-friend.
  19. Aurora

    Aurora Very freckly member

    Okay, raw cabbage is (a) cheap and (b) crisp and slightly peppery in flavour. Frozen peas, cooked very lightly (like I do 1 min 30 in the microwave) also are crisp and fresh, if they've gotten slimy you've cooked them too long. Or you can just try eating veges frozen, we ate a lot of frozen veges as a kid because my little brother had serious food issues (he's now a chef, go figure).

    Another option is veges with a sauce, eg butter and salt, start off by putting the sauce on veges you like, then put it on veges you are not so sure about.

    Potatoes are cheap and very healthy too.
  20. Arxon

    Arxon Well-Known Member

    Aaaallllright so today is club day, apparently! And I tried to walk thru the quad area where the booths were set up and that was kinda a mistake because now I am rocking back and forth and feel really really terrible so I will try and see if there's another venue to find out about clubs. Wow that was loud and unpleasant.

    Yeah that make s a lot of sense and is something my social groups haven't really done in the past....maybe part of why I'm always so worried about doing things wrong?

    I am fairly sure the one time I got something done before the day it was due was when I was mistaken on the actual due date ono

    Oh hm I've never tried to just eat them frozen before, I'll see if that helps

    This is a really good idea, thanks!

    I can't do potatoes unless they're mashed, they make my chest hurt ono
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