Heya, so I have a problem with being as kind and patient as I want to be when I get angry or hurt, and I'd appreciate it if folks have any tips for how to be better in the moment/how to force myself to be better even when I don't necessarily feel like it in the moment. For example, last night I had an... altercation? it wasn't really a fight, just a conversation that went pear-shaped -- with a friend. I just got issued a patent and was celebrating, and they got into "software patents are shitty actually" (I broadly agree, but that was so not the time for that commentary....). I asked after their specific reasoning about patents, and they then proceeded to respond in a really condescending way (unintentionally, I'm pretty sure - I get very strong clueless aspie vibes from this person, and I am sympathetic bc I too am clueless aspie vibes, and not everyone has the experience/opportunity/brain meats to get better at this shit at the same rate, but like... still shitty to be condescending). I hadn't really expressed any anger or hurt by this point, bc I figured they weren't trying to be a jackass about things ...and I'm just plain bad about expressing such things, but the condescension kinda put me over the line of "no i'm gonna address this". It occurred to me to use I think/I feel statements, but I was mad and decided to be snippy instead. It also occurred to me to put chat down and leave it alone for like a day, but again I was angry so I wanted to do a angry, plus I know myself and if I waited a day I just wouldn't have addressed it at all. I don't think I was enough of a jerk to owe them an apology for how I said things (if folks disagree and think I do owe them an apology, I can of course do that), but I do think I didn't handle it the best way for the sort of person I want to be. They were confused about what went wrong, and I laid it out, and they apologized for calling my patent-getting shitty (but not for the condescension, which I'm a little bothered by, but whatever, I'm not super inclined to bring things back up at this point, esp since the chat has moved on, which I contributed to for the express purpose of moving past fighty shit in main). Spoiler: chat log with irl info and cross chatter snipped (This is not the most dramatic example, but it's the same sort of pattern I run into with emotional situations where I get really lash-out-y. And it's fresh on my mind, and happened over text chat, so easier to break down.) So I guess my tldr actionable question is, how can I force myself to respond in a more constructive way than getting snippy/bitchy even when I don't want to in the moment? Like, instead of saying something like "gee thanks for the condescension" saying something like "hey I'm feeling really condescended to which makes me feel pretty frustrated".