How To Doctors

Before going forward I'm going to forward people that this post about medical stuff, specifically gynecological problems, so if that's going to squick or trigger you then this is not the thread for you.

Okay, so I'm freaking out right now and I'm not sure of how I can deal with the problem. Years ago I was diagnosed with HPV, which doesn't do anything except when it DOES do something like cause cervical cancer. After that initial diagnosis it basically went away. I went for check ups every 6 months for years, and then one year the doctor said I could start doing yearly because nothing had shown up for so long. I never really went to the same doctor more than once or twice because I moved around a lot, but I tried to be responsible about this. I don't want to die of cancer. After they switched to normal once a year check ups I was glad.

Then about three years ago I went for a check up and the doctor was... kind of really mean? She made me feel really bad about myself, my weight and things. I'm also a childhood sexual abuse survivor so going to that specific type of doctor is extra crappy, and having self image anxiety put on top of survivor anxiety just made everything harder. I'm great at thinking of how I'll deal with doctors but when I actually get in the exam room with them all of that kind of flys out of my head. So I've been avoiding going back for a long time... and I know that's super dangerous! It's also something that just slips my mind, since it's supposed to be a one a year thing.

But as of last night I'm bleeding weirdly when it's not supposed to be my period, and when I look at the list of non-symptoms for cervical cancer it's like "Oh NO" because they're all really vague but WHAT IF, you know? Add to that the fact that I don't have insurance anymore and I feel totally completely fucked. I missed the chance for Obamacare open enrollment, and when I tried to apply they couldn't verify my identity so I know that's going to be a whole huge process and I don't want to die of cancer in the meantime!

Plus, there's the fact that this could be nothing. There might be literally nothing wrong with me, or something completely different. I just don't know. So now I'm freaked out and crying all over my keyboard because I really really don't want to go to the doctor and have them make me feel like crap about my weight situation again. I don't have insurance or a job (I'm job hunting and hoping to get insurance that way) so it's going to cost all the money, and I'm just deeply uncomfortable with the whole thing. All of the things.

I guess I know the answer is going to be "See a doctor! ASAP!" but I feel so upset right now. I don't know.

 

I'm in Massachusetts, and close enough to Boston that the bus/train system could get me there. There is a Planned Parenthood there, but their website asks for paystubs in order to even apply for their financial assistance thing, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me! I don't even know how I'd prove I'm unemployed since it's not like I was let go or fired from my previous job, I graduated from school. That's why I've lost my insurance too. I mean, the area is completely covered in universities so this can't be an unusual circumstance, but if I don't have pay stubs or unemployment I don't know how their thing works.

Also, with the health care thing, it feels like if you don't have insurance in this state that's like a BAD THING and you get in trouble for it because they've had special health care going on for so long. Like, it's my fault for missing out on the enrollment period and now I'm screwed. That very well might not be the reality of the situation but that's how my freaked out brain is processing it right now. I'm not originally from here though so I don't really know the process.

I wish a doctor could tell me how urgent this is, but then I'd have gone to see a doctor so that's moot. What I'm worried about is, is this an urgent care visit kind of situation, an ASAP see someone Monday kind of thing, or see someone before the month is out type deal? Who knows? No one but a doctor would I'm assuming. But if I'm not going to die within the week then I might have some options. Even without insurance I see a therapist (20 dollars per appointment because they're magical) so maybe she'll help me figure out how to deal with this, or know of someone who can.

I mean, I KNOW I'm not going to die within the week (unless this is an ectopic pregnancy or something which I'm sure it's not) but I also know that if it really is cancer then the faster something is done the better. Ugh, this is so stressful. And it doesn't help that I feel really stupid for letting this happen; if I'd just done regular check ups like a responsible adult I'd at least have a better idea of what was going on.

 

there is this national program called 211 and its free. if you have spoons for a call, they have a lot of resources that might be able to help you. there is also their website: http://www.211.org/

 

My understanding is that at Planned Parenthoods, they just want something in writing that shows how you are meeting your expenses. For instance your latest bank statement, or if you receive assistance some sort of paperwork from that.

Oh, and agreed that your therapist might be a good resource person. Definitely try her. :)

 

That's helpful, thank you!

 

True, but that does not mean that it is something bad that is wrong with AnonSis. The thing about what 'we doctors' (disclaimer: only a medical intern, this is not medical advice, talk to a doctor, blablabla) call intermenstrual blood loss (blood loss between periods) has wildly different causes, and definitely does not have to be cancer!

There's all kinds of things that can go wrong with hormones to mess with your period. They can make you bleed heavier on your period, they can make you bleed in between your period, they can make you bleed randomly all over the place.

There's also your 'average benign' uterus malformations and weird non-cancerous growths.

My point is basically that there's loads of things (most of them not bad!) that can cause random bleeding, and that it doesn't have to be cancer :) Hell, some of them can be cured by the birth control pill.