So lately I've been feeling like I'm at a point in my life where I need to start therapy up again. I keep cycling between depression and anxiety and some weird murky combination of the both of them. As you can imagine, this is very difficult to deal with. My self-esteem is in the toilet, I'm very avoidant of people and situations with many people, and my thoughts rarely seem to be clear. I've been on medication in the past, but the medication had a lot of problems of its own (namely some of the physical side effects, which weren't terrible but definitely weren't great). I'm still taking a small dose of it and I don't particularly want to go up anymore. I really want to try therapy again despite the fact that well, in the past it hasn't necessarily worked for me. I've been in and out of therapy for years and frankly, very little of that had any long-term effect on me. Actually I pretty much never felt like I was getting anywhere. I just kept showing up, saying words, words were said at me, then I left. That's it. I think one of the big problems I run into is that I'm not touchy-feely. Yes, I am dealing with negative feelings, but excessive validation really doesn't help. For instance, someone just sitting there and being like 'so you must be very stressed!' whenever I talk about my responsibilities piling up usually just elicits a kind of 'yes, thank you for at least acknowledging this, but lets move on' response in me. I don't necessarily feel like that helps me. It's not validation I'm looking for because most of the time my reactions are totally irrational and I am aware of that. I don't think the things that I'm anxious about make a lot of sense and I'm not invested in trying to prove that they're plausible. In fact, I can deconstruct them on my own and point out how stupid they are. But the problem is that it doesn't stop my brain from going out of control and making me scared for no reason. THAT'S what I want addressed - the disconnect between logic and emotion. Also, the 'lets figure out what you're feeling right now!' exercises are very pointless because I'm extremely self-aware. I can tell you if I'm nervous, stressed, tired, checked out, etc. I'm not confused about that sort of thing. Does anyone else have a similar problem? If so, is there a way that you deal with it to make therapy work? Or maybe you've had a different experience and you have some insight? I'm just really at a loss because I want to go, I want to think this will be the magical time where it helps, but I have no evidence to support that thought so I keep not doing it.