so, I realized yesterday that I may accidentally have been flirting/hitting on/innuendoimg at my Good Friend, and he might have been reciprocating? It's a really awkward situation for me bc I love him platonically to like the nth degree, he plays the blushing virginal nerd with no sex knowledge, which I have a hard time resisting baiting, and I have some demi/postabuse tendancy to want to be sexual with people bc I like them and know sexual stuff (is supposed to) feel nice for folks. I also love me a soppy fanfic premise, and since swithing meds over the summer am bored and back to having poor self control when it comes to trying to not be randomly sexual during conversations. Problem is, I have a very strong and insistent sexuality, and he doesn't fit the bill. Based on past experience, I'm pretty sure this would mean my lowkey attraction would wear off after a while, OR I would be fundementally unfulfilled by the relationship and start to feel super trapped. I also tend towards relationships with a bit of play fighting, but I'm not good at boundaries all the time, which means I need a partner who's expecting that. Catch: losing his friendship would probably cause me permanent psychological harm. I want to clearly communicate what's going on to him asap to simplify everything, but I also know he may not have really noticed what's going on. Idk what to do.
Don't know your personal relationships, but id just suggest being transparent. Maybe just say what you say here? That you can act very flirtatious but you're platonically into him and not further than that/aren't in the right spot to start a relationship If hes a cool one he will understand yknow? And i feel you, I'm also super flirtatious without realizing but also have Specified Standards and it can get awkward. Usually I'm just very transparent and tell my real feelings
Oh man, I've been through so many permutations of this from various angles. I'm not into sex but I love being super close to my friends and play flirting. I'm also really dense about when other people are into me and don't always realize what's considered flirting. Maybe explain to him that you're kinda messed up with boundaries in this area and take things a little further than you mean to with people you love totally platonically sometimes, and you're worried you may be doing that with him? And that you wanna be clear that you don't mean anything more than friendly by it, and to please let you know if it gets weird for him because you won't always be able to tell?
