i am a disgusting freak

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by Void, May 27, 2015.

  1. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    it just makes me feel bad. Like my brand of rp is throw trauma after trauma at a character cuz I enjoy their suffering in a terrible way. Like one time my character was kidnapped and tortured and I never told anyone how it turned me on. Or how it turned me on when she forcefully had to dislocated her arm to try to escape just... Urgh.
    • Like x 1
  2. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    I've written a fair amount of torture fic, sometimes for people who're turned on by it. You don't choose what you're into really, and engaging that in fiction is fine.
  3. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Shit, I have definitely done that to characters. Like, you get ultimate control over a world and characters that you identify at least a little with? With the amount of stuff I've put my characters through, they could probably be super justified for being real pissed at me

    We're not in control of what turns us on. We're in control of what we do to other people, but luckily characters aren't real people. I mean, my characters are probably closer to being me than other people anyway.

    and now i kind of want to read your stuff/exchange writing but i feel like it's an inappropriate time to say that so i'm making the font tiny because i'm an adult dammit
    • Like x 2
  4. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    eeeshp, yeah, I share your opinion on mpreg.
  5. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    I would have to look through my pastebin to see if I have anything like that saved. I tend to delete any of my torture/noncon/bad kink stuff pretty quick.

    Although my other favorite rp moment was my character's face and hands being branded.
    • Like x 1
  6. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    *cough cough would also like to read it cough cough*
    • Like x 1
  7. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    On the list thing
    People other then me do that?
    yesterday I had to stop, reroute, during studying because my parents Didn't Get why I had to Get The Waterbottle Out Of The Backpack before math studying could continue as planned.
    • Like x 2
  8. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    yeah, i rp terrible shit happening to my oc's all the time, and help my friends rp terrible shit happening to their oc's.

    have you been following the boat trolls at all? right now, roach's oc is being emotionally abused and physically endangered/neglected by his new matesprit, my oc is tracking them down to murder her, knowing his kismesis is probably too stockholmed to ever forgive him and that in rescuing him he'll be destroying their relationship, and luka's oc is currently 'only' dealing with his freaked out moirail blaming herself for all of this because the abusive character is her ex and therefore somehow she brought all this down on her friends? which is a nice change for galley, after all the guro, noncon, body horror, and mind rape he was put through as a helmsman.

    in other words, you are not REMOTELY alone, and loving to beat on your characters is a common trait of a lot of writers. it makes for great, dramatic writing.
    • Like x 5
  9. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    here is a minilist as to what has happened to my character aletheia.
    putting under cut just as precaution
    He has been shot, badly healed, nearly died of cold, of heat, both of these while homeless, is a recovering alcoholic, can accidentally mindfuck people, has a mindlink to two equally fucked up people, murdered his abusive girlfriend, murdered other people, got arrested for being alive, got mindfucked by an evil telepath twice, same evil telepath wants to take over his body, is in fact the reincarnation of a chess piece in a cosmic game played by two oblivious gods, ends up being a parent to a super-powered child after his best friend is shot out of the sky in front of him, and met his other best friend after beating up someone. all of this happens between the ages of 18 and 27
    • Like x 4
  10. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    I guess I can share some links to stuff.

    Almost all of these are based in the replay value au. My main was a seadweller troll.

    Warning for horn mutilation. I am the one labeled as Heries|Josh because I was playing two characters at the time.

    I loved writing for Heries, she was terrible and fucked up. Murdered a lot of people.

    deepsLight was my character Heries

    I can find more later
    • Like x 3
  11. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Nth-ing the "We can be disgusting together thing"
    I´ve fantasised about noncon sex with various villains since before I was even supposed to have a sexuality.
    • Like x 3
  12. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    Oh lemme throw up a spoiler for Heries' whole story
    Heries is a native seer of heart, started playing sgrub like most at six sweeps. Was shy, kinda didn't have a good sense of self. Played with her crushes. Accidentally caused their deaths and was unable to revive them. Then was forced to replay sgrub. Next group of people didn't give a shit about her, left her confused and distant. After that, at seven sweeps old she was taken advantage of, sexually assaulted and abused. Mentally fucked over. Forced to kill some people. Rest of her sessions after that were a downward spiral of murder, assault, and more rape because she had no way to figure out how to deal with trauma. Stalked a person, killed her husband. Was wanted by evil tentacle monsters in space. Fell in love with a human guy. Fell in love with his revived clone/dead self. Loved both alive and revived dead self of guy. Was sentenced to death. Escaped death. Had face and hands branded and sign revoked. Eventually decided to hard reset her soul, wiped all traces of herself out of it to get the last laugh at people who wanted revenge. "Died" at age 22.
    • Like x 2
  13. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    So I never got called back. The place closed two hours ago. Too freaked out to call now.
  14. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    hug to ya
    • Like x 1
  15. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    if you work tomorrow, then do the showing up thing, and if boss says a thing, then just be "yeah! I was waiting for you to call me back about what to do, but I figured you got busy"

    if no work, then call him. script can reset for me after sleep cycle.

    definitely calling now is probably not an option.
  16. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    No. Normally I work Wednesdays only. Last week he had said "no work next Wednesday, instead the Sunday,Monday, and Tuesday after"

    But?? Maybe I misunderstood. Sigh.
  17. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    well, that could work as a script addition, since maybe you could call to check for sure when you work, and then happen to drop in the "hey about yesterday...?"

    but, yes, very sigh. much merh. bleh.
  18. Makizushi

    Makizushi Cheap, Easy, Delicious

    I'm sorry that you were feeling bad about your kinks, but I think that there is a fundamental disconnect between people saying "[THING] IS NOT A KINK" and the people who are like "um actually" that has become really apparent in the tumblr.txt thread and might help you in processing how you think about your interests.

    So, the issue with rape culture and society at large is that people see sexual violence and don't process it as sexual violence. Those people don't have a rape kink, at least not consciously. That's... kinna dangerous because they get off to rape without recognizing it as such, and so are unlikely to know safe ways of being in sexual situations in real life.

    If there is anyone who is likely to see sexual violence and identify it as rape and not "rough but consensual sex" it's someone who's into noncon/dubcon. When you are conscious of what you like you can be sure that everyone is safe because you're aware of the issues. Honestly, I'd be way more worried about someone who had and either didn't recognize or suppressed a noncon/dubcon kink because... if you're not thinking about it then how are you going to be aware of it when it comes up in fiction or even in real life?

    There are loads of good people, including you and me, who are into "the weird stuff" as I keep referring to it. It's more fun, much safer, and a "good person" sort of thing to be aware of and educated about your interests rather than just fumbling around blindly and potentially doing unintentional damage.
    • Like x 2
  19. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    Blurgh, yeah. Plus I am a csa survivor, and a sexual abuse survivor a second time from an ex boyfriend. I know really well what is noncon/dubcon. Like I have dedicated hours and hours of my life to learning how to identify it.

    @boyacrossthestreet yeah I guess, but if he wanted me to work tomorrow how do I know? Unless I get dropped off in the morning, I have no way to just show up
  20. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Is he aware of your ride issues?
    And currently, what you know is Sunday Monday & Tuesday, right?

    I would definitely call just to check tomorrow morning. And if he wants you to work tomorrow, then make a point out of saying okay, but I will need a ride, because I don't have a ride to work

    work stress and schedule stress is very bleh. :P
    • Like x 1
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