I am covered in black paint

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by Missfortunate, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. Missfortunate

    Missfortunate Emotional one

    i think this should go here, anyway ive been gone for like a really long time...there are too many long stories to tell about that but some of you here already know at least some of the details. so hey! im sitting here alone in the dark typing this and ive a song playing ive never heard, sounds like something a small child might enjoy, it is soft and a little bit fastr than slow but back to me, im alone and i am covered in black paint, i cant see anything anymore and i cant see myself the way i should i keep trying to wipe it off and do the daily things but it wont go away and tonight its the darkest its ever been, some nights i lay awake because chronic pain wont let me go to sleep other nights i lay awake and wonder about soo many things.....tonight i wonder what it would be like if there were no tomorrow ive been trying so hard not to get dragged down again but is any of this really worth it? worth the fight....im so tired...soo tired...my head is filled with so many horrible things, my father and the things he did to me, my mother and the things she did to me, the fact that she can forget it and im so jealous because i have to remember and i have to feel and i want a way out because im so tired of this...i want to go away...some times i dont want to wake up anymore...why should i? my world seems so dark right now and i cant find anything to help because i cant see, im losing myself and i feel so deeply numb, i guess in a way im asking for help because i havnt been able to find it and i want to...i want to not feel whatever THIS is
     
  2. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I'm really sorry that things are difficult for you right now. If there is anything Dave or I can do let us know, okay?
     
  3. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    hey babe
    I'm here for you, remember that? you've got my number and my facebook
    :hugs:
     
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