Howdy gang! To address the second part of the title, I just wanted to make sure that no one felt obligated to post here, since I don't frequently post with answers to other people's advice requests. I just wanted to get this out onto the interwebz to get it off my chest. I've talked about it with certain friends, but... gah, let's get on with the show. I feel emotions just fine, usually. Anger comes to me super-easily, as does happiness, and sadness when the conditions are right. Fear is definitely an emotion I can feel. But I noticed something-- for a while, my bathroom became my emotional sanctuary. I would go there to look myself in the eye, do some thinking, maybe punch myself in the face. But I couldn't cry in the bathroom because I could see myself. Suddenly I would realize I was just doing this as a performance for myself. My emotions and their expression were just masks I wore, masks I could easily take off. This began to extend to anger and happiness until I couldn't feel a damn thing when looking in the mirror or being able to see myself. Then I started to internalize the mirror. I still find it difficult to cry, because it's all a performance. I can't know I'm crying and still cry honestly. I haven't been dealing with this much lately, but I still thought it was worth writing down. So... uh... yeah, that about covers it. Thanks for reading, any who read!
