i can't name things and this may become a relevant title

Spoiler: img

nailed it

 

Spoiler

why did i think renting a room in a middle aged lady's apartment was a good idea

 

lately i feel more like a legit human being who is allowed to exist in other people's ..consciousnesses? and it feels nice

 

it's rejection-sensitivity-for-dumb-reasons time! i was going to be productive but i guess not anymore

 

I've been having a "talking is Bad" life series of days so here's a low-stakes post

Spoiler: img

lookit the tiny

i swear it's a kawasaki rose and not just some scrunched up paper

 

Spoiler: img

thank you, google, very helpful

 

Spoiler: pmsing

Most of my clothes stink of concentrated city air and therefore my room stinks and it's giving me a low level headache and I can't find my hairtie and the humidity is unrelenting as ever and this week is hell week at work and there's hella stuff due for classes and i can't manage to not spend a lot of time on the internet instead of doing some High Quality Rest Activity (aka reading) on breaks and everything is annoying

 

"5 Works in Julius Caesar/Nicomedes IV of Bithynia"
i love the internet

 

i don't want to stay up late doing homework i hate it i hate iiiiiiiiiiittt i hate allnighters so much so much so much

 

guess what idiot forgot to save her dataset in ods additionally to csv and now has to remake everything.
and knew this was going to happen, because of course it was.
and also managed to go to office hours for once but doesn't remember what the prof said

 

*spends the most time of a stats assignment making a dataset that actually behaves like the prof claims variables behave*

 

What Do I Want To Read Next: A Shortlist (She Writes, A Third Into Her Current 2000-Page Read)
- Unsong - Scott Alexander
- Norse Mythology - Neil Gaiman
- Microserfs - Douglas Coupland
- Fool's Quest - Robin Hobb
- Little, Big - John Crowley

that's it, that's the post

 

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiignnnnmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeentttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

 

oh no! roommate's loudly listening to flaix fm! time to hide in my bed forever and cry!
(it's over now, thankfully)
on the pretty slim plus side of today, i got a 10 in stats

 

after-lunch plan:
- write 2000 words of presentation script(do not touch actual slides!! they're ok already!)
- break
- find dumb infinite loop
- find what's up with the armadillo (optional. who cares)
- play with *all* of the param sliders :3
- some sort of rehearsing? (probably not happening, but)

 

i followed thursday's plan, rehearsing and everything!

things i never thought I would want to binge: a podcast about the history of rome

brain, please, finishing a podcast isn't a useful goal, the only thing on the other side of it is emptiness. Finishing the semester okay, on the other hand, will actually feel good! and is less impossible than you keep insisting, please shut up.

 

awful assignment continues to be horribly awful and make me very upset and angry

 

tasks for today:
- write one (1) pseudocode
- write math stuff
- write pseudocode 1 description
- write pseudocode 2 description
- finish g comparisons graph
- do g-alpha comparisons graph
- do g-b comparison graph
- write graph description
- write graph description
- write problem statement

 

*emails housing ad contact* "call me to meet up!" *i guess I'll die.jpg continue living with the roaches.jpg*

 

been having trouble talking, so, post.

Spoiler: some pointless words

I meant to go to the gym today, but took a long nap instead. :| Sleeping feels so nice. Specifically when u're only kind of asleep and just sort of having nice thoughts that feel very creative and good? is that an effexor side effect? did i get that before? idk. i should probably stay away from my bedroom from lunch until gym time. tho idk where to go after work. maybe the library? probably the library..

i want to make friends with my coworkers who i talk to a bunch, but. how people. ugh.

the semester ended up being ok. i pulled 0 allnighters and started projects way before the last moment. but i wasn't really prepared for having to take actual final exams without partials to spread out the studying, while having to do projects for every class that were due around finals, and everything went slightly downhill at the end. Not sure how to fix that. I'm thinking that I may try to keep up with reading the material every week for only one class, since doing it for all classes is clearly not happening, and then I'l have some extra days during finals or something.
Also, i managed to not skip many meals (food is hard bc exdys) but i ate out a lot. Part of the problem is that the grocery store is a bus ride away and waiting for the bus is terrible, and i can't go on weekends because i'm often not here. dunno if i should try to figure out online grocery shopping and the cost-effectiveness thereof or try to designate a weekday to go shopping? tho that'd have to be after like 6-8 pm, when everyone else is also shopping, which ugh. something else? we'll see.