Jumping in to say I like you a great deal and your posts about religion and culture are always super interesting and informative. Also, I've known a fair number of people who have managed to spend their entire lives in academia, so it's definitely a thing that can be done.
It is the thing I want to do and I am trying to do it. But I'm scared I won't be able to. Either because I won't be the one who gets the money or because Trump and his assholes fuck everything up even more than it already is. The fact that I have to consider becoming a nun as my backup option to higher education is really fucking sad.
At least the nun option exists...I'd rather not do that. Like I'd really rather not do that. But I like knowing I have that safety net always there and I will defend the Sangha as an institution (or series of them rather) because of it till I die.
Feeling bit better now. Spent time farming for weapon upgrade mats in Salt and Sanctuary and you guys were helpful too. Thank you again. And I don't actually hate any of you. I don't.
Amusing myself by thinking about whether or not it is legal to curse the president. Not that I particularly care. He had a satire written about him.
but is it legal to curse him i am curious how deep the threatening the president well goes because law is interesting
now i'm curious too and attempting to search for an answer (because lol my search history is already terrible, i guess) and all i'm coming up with is a 2013 deleted tumblr post that somehow tangented into capslocked "friendly reminders" about nazis i got nothing yet
You'll see. One day I'll be the true monster of this world. I'll outclass everyone! I will! I say even though you are just like meh and Morven just shoves me over and tells me to deal with being liked. ;-;
I can't deal with the stress of knowing that I'll be transferring soon. Yes there is a whole other semester left of school here but that is only one. I can barely handle changes to my eating schedules without becoming highly distressed. I know I'll be able to put up with it because starting community college led to horrible breakdowns due to changing of schedule. But I don't want to go. I'm scared. I will go. But I'm just so scared.
I do not like having to be put together and strong. I manage it just fine I feel. I've been making improvements on my physical fitness and eating habits. Both in terms of not stuffing random bullshit in my face and also in remembering that I honestly do need to eat because wow blood sugar is a thing. My grades have been stellar this entire time and I've improved my work ethic and study by leaps and bounds from high school and its endless tragedy. There has not been a single semester where I haven't been on the dean's list. Not one. The only things pulling me down have been math classes really and I managed to tough through those and now I don't have to anymore. I've made improvements on not being a huge prick to people in self-loathing filled spirals. Like yes I do want to tell people I hate them and that I think they should kill themselves or that I personally need to kill them because they're mean to me and trying to result in me being dead. Or just because I want people to hate me because it's easier that way. But I don't do that. I have the self-control to not be a total fucking asshat. I'm writing again too and socializing and what not. And I'm maintaining my small web of connections from school. I'm remarkably capable. I know I can deal with it, but it feels like I can't and really, really don't want to have to. I will. Because I have to and I know I'll be happier for it in the end. But I'm upset about it right now.
