it is so fucking lame And my main drive towards looking to dorm once I transfer. Fuck let's hope we even get out of state. Because fuck it.
I am feel particularly spiteful and want to get into some fucking school in Hawaii just to spite them too. Because they are like "oh I don't think you'd like Hawaii". FUCKING TRY ME. Granted I may in fact get hideously lonely there. So perhaps spite is not the smartest way to make decisions.
One of my cousins actually went to college in Hawaii! She majored in…marine biology or something, so it was a logical choice. And spite may not be the smartest decision-making tool but damn if it's not a satisfying one. >:)
I would like to see Hawaii at the least. Some school out there offers majors in an absolutely absurd amount of languages. It's weird.
"Kill them. Kill them all." No, brain. That's sadly not a good plan. Even if it was it's not like I can get to them. It's just not practical. "Kill them. They need to die. They need to be stopped. Stab them, stab them, stab, stab, stab." If I give you guro will you please shut up? For a moment? Just one? "Kill them and hold their heads up. As a sign. A warning. Stop them. Let everyone see what happens." Fascinating, brain.
At least I'm not distressed heavily by the intrusive thoughts right now. More just irritated by them.
Honestly they're kind of fascinating to look at when I'm not distressed by them. It's a weird sort of calm, only marred by a bit of frustration because they won't fucking stop. But it's interesting to just kind of sit there and watch as my head screams about killing people over and over and over and just not be terrified of it or worried about it. I'm not a monster, not any more than anyone else with OCD is. Gods it is annoying though.
"Disgusting, despicable, disgusting not deserving of life, disgusting, disgusting, filthy, disgusting." It's just so repetitive. Ergh.
-hugs the kencyrath books closely to myself- She gets it. I'm not sure if that's what she intended with Tori but she gets it and what it's like. That means things.