I didn't even know I was pregnant, and I definitely didn't plan to be pregnant, but I guess it happened and then it un-happened??? It's been rather painful, though heating pads help now that the initial awfulness seems to be over with, but the initial awfulness was really awful. Super ridiculously painful and gross. I've been off the internet for days now and people were starting to get concerned, so that's what I was up to. Writhing around in pain and reading Harry Potter fanfiction. :c Now I'm super exhausted all the time no matter how much I sleep, and I'm also upset and freaked out because I was pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant, not now and most likely not ever. We want to adopt/foster children. So like, I'm not sad about it or anything, I'm very relieved. But AUGH. I was pregant what the fuck?! D: And now I'm not??? *bluescreen*
oh shit uh wow how did that even.... wow I'm sorry about the pain and all sorry I'm just I bluescreen whenever people I know are involved in pregnancy shit
Oh my God. I'm... so glad things are more okay now? But. Do you know, how long you were pregnant for? You had no clue before this? That would freak me out so much...
Holy shit, that sounds traumatic as fuck. I'm glad you're....well, not okay, I guess, but recovering? I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I just got home from therapy, and my therapist offered a second appointment this week if I feel like I need it. I might call and take her up on the offer but I'm not sure right now. It is a mindfuck more than anything, and thank you to everyone offering hugs and various words of support. That helps. I don't know how long I was pregnant for, no. It can't have been super long; I'm really bad about keeping track of my periods but I wasn't more than two or three weeks late. Four at the very most. I figured out it was a miscarriage because of the symptoms; severe back pain in addition to super!cramps, blood color and quantity, extra tissue, abnormal duration of bleeding, extra super fucking tired for an extended period of time. I was reading about it and I might be this exhausted for weeks while the hormones clear out of my system. :C Like, I sleep and sleep but I wake up exhausted, it sucks. This only started Friday, so I know the tiredness is not from anything else since I started spotting (weirdly pink, another miscarriage symptom) on Thursday. Both of my partners are taking very good care of me, and my male partner is very interested in a vasectomy now. He was interested before but we sort of put off making a decision about it, but now we're like "yes, for sure." I am not interested in carrying a pregnancy to term; our kids will be foster/adopted kids. I feel like I just missed getting hit by a bus, but even that isn't quite right because I was actually pregnant and even just trying to process that is like, body horror city. I didn't know, and I don't want to be, and AUGH.
Oh wow. I'm grateful it didn't get more complicated, I wouldn't wish an unwanted pregnancy on anyone. It's definitely something... I hope the pain and exhaustion alleviates soon, so many hugs, plenty of soothing tea and comforting friend-thoughts.
... reminds me to go look if the birth control implant is available in Peru. I might not be having sex right now, but if I do start I'd rather be prepared before than have an accident.
Funnily enough, my girlfriend got a copper IUD implanted the same day I confirmed that what I'd been going through was a miscarriage and not just a super extra bad period.
