I need a mug of tea and a kick in the motivation

Discussion in 'Braaaaiiiinnnns...' started by kmoss, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    I've been dropping back into depression for about a month now, and I know it's pretty bad right now just because of hormones and because the weather here is real shitty. It's doing the thing where it flips between cold and dark and snowy and bright and summery, and I keep getting bounced back and forth by it. I'd probably go to a counselor, if it wasn't so damn hard to do anything in this college's insane system and if I were likely to get in before I graduated.

    In addition, I'm in the process of getting officially assessed for ADHD, but it's taking a really long time, since the lady who's assessing me is a grad student and has to run everything past her advisor. I'll know one way or another by wednesday, provided she doesn't reschedule our meeting.

    Anyway, I'm graduating this semester - mid-may, to be precise, and I've set a deadline for myself that I have to get everything done by the end of this month, which is when I'm going to Fargo to see the night vale show with my friends.

    I have to do:
    My final Internship report
    A portfolio presentation (just in a binder)
    Final draft of my history & systems paper (so at least it's just the final draft)
    Finish contacting sponsors for the company I'm interning at
    Write a reaction paper to the nonprofit convention I went to (in January, but at least I have notes)
    and probably something else, but it's small, whatever it is

    So, for everyone who's done the whole college deal - how do you get through this last burst of apathy? Do you have a soundtrack? A strategy? Any suggestions?
     
  2. Allenna

    Allenna I am not a Dragon. Or a Robot. Really.

    could habitrpg maybe help?
     
  3. Vacuum Energy

    Vacuum Energy waterwheel on the stream of entropy

    Hmm. If nothing else, posting here what you have done each day, and/or the steps for doing the next thing you need to do, can help with the entire "accountability" thing.
     
  4. Lazarae

    Lazarae The tide pod of art

    I didn't finish the college thing but I'm ADHD + have depression and have workarounds for some of them.

    My main actually works for both of them: First break everything down into its component tasks, set aside a chunk of the day that you are Working On Things (with regular breaks, but still stay away from stuff that'll suck you in), and limit your distractions. Then reward yourself every time you finish one of the smaller tasks. Give yourself an extra 15 minutes of goofing-off-on-the-internet time, go out for Nice Coffee, make some cookies and munch on them while you get back to work, buy that thing you've been wanting. Whatever works for you.

    It helps to break everything into manageable chunks, it's more positive than punishing yourself for not getting things done, and it has something to keep you going. It's like an expanded version of the 'gummy bear every line' trick for studying.

    Also don't feel too bad if you run out of spoons before your allotted time is over, just edit how long the Working on Things period is to match your mental stamina. Any progress is good progress and as long as you keep doing things in small chunks eventually you'll be done.

    (YMMV of course, but it was one of the first strategies that didn't stress me out just thinking about it, and works nicely for me.)
     
    • Like x 3
  5. WithAnH

    WithAnH Space nerd

    I don't know if this will help you, but I have dragged myself through a lot of academic deadlines with some successes and some dramatic failures, and these are some of the tricks I finally got to work for me (around the last year of grad school, but better late than never).

    • More concrete is better. Because of the way my brain works, I can deal with an extremely specific list, no matter how long, much better than a nebulous Doom Cloud of Responsibilities. I write out the list of things that has to be done in a Google document, broken down into tasks that I estimate will take no more than an hour. If I think something is going to take more than an hour, I try to think of a way to split it into smaller tasks. All the phone calls that have to be made go on the list. All the paperwork. All the appointments. Buying materials. Printing stuff. EVERYTHING. Then, at the very top of the list, add "Make list" and immediately cross it off. Then take a break, because that step is exhausting.
    • Start crossing things off. Some rules of thumb:
      • If it's business hours, start with the phone calls/emails/office visits. Everyone involved, including Future You, will thank you for doing these early. They sucked for me because I had (and have) bad social anxiety and don't deal well with having to ask people for things. I forced myself to do them with the terror of having to ask for the same thing but on even shorter notice.
      • Outline before you write and make outlining its own list item. When you're translating the outline into a paragraph, don't worry about looking stuff up - mark the place where the relevant fact or figure goes and fill it in when you get to editing. Unless it's vital to your argument, of course.
      • Don't worry about doing things in order unless not having one task done is going to hold up another. I jumped around on my thesis like crazy, so at any given time I had some sections done and waiting for markup from my advisor, some back from my advisor and covered in red ink, some badly written and full of notations like "Look up what this number actually is" and "[Citation goes here]", some outlined, and others with just a section header and placeholder text.
    • Give yourself extra rewards for the hardest tasks. @Lazarae is right about the reward thing. It helps, especially with the handful of stuff on your list that you know is going to be awful. For me, these were phone calls and emails to my committee, fixing citations, the one section that got rewritten so many times I hated the very sight of it, and writing the conclusion. Keep your work periods on these short and walk away from your workspace for a while after you finish one.
    • Figure out how to keep your work environment from getting in the way. I blocked my biggest time-wasting websites on my work computer, stole a more comfortable chair from an unused office, and always worked with big over-ear headphones on. Usually I wasn't even listening to music, but something about the pressure and having all the ambient sounds muffled helped. Hearing other people's conversations makes it impossible for me to get anything done. Experiment and find out what works for you.
    • Bad days happen. There will probably be a few days where your brain just will not do. If you have mindless repetitive tasks on your list, these are the days to tackle them. Try to get one thing on your list done, even if it takes five times as long as it would on a normal day. Then quit and reset for the next day.
    • Do not neglect your health. I ignored the hell out of this one when I was in college, but it finally caught up with me in grad school. Eat regular meals - if you are like me and liable to just not notice things like hunger, get a friend to meet you for meals if possible. Caffeine and soda are not food substitutes. I'm going to be realistic - your sleep schedule is probably going to get screwed up if it isn't already - but try not to start sacrificing sleep until the last week if you can help it. Take walks on your breaks. Do you know somebody with a dog? Pet that dog. This whole month will be a lot more survivable if you take care of your body as best you can.
    • Mental preparation. Your mantra for the next few weeks is "This is going to suck, but it is finite. On [date], I'm going to be done." As you get closer to the end and the list is mostly filled with crossed-off things, start highlighting the remaining ones in colors. That will make them easy to see, and you can look at them in context and see how far you've made it.
    YMMV, but that is how I got through the last two months of grad school. Good luck! You can make it.
     
    • Like x 4
  6. Another Shy One

    Another Shy One More books than clothes

    it really helped me to get an agenda for all the assignments i get in school because then i could set deadlines (because of the calendars) and write lists inside of it. It also helped to carry the damn thing around everywhere even when I don't need it because i can just open it and look at what still needs to be done and check stuff off that way. I am forever writing lists too (either on paper or in my phone) but i somehow always misplace them or dont look at them that much so its easier to have the physical agenda on hand. Of course, not everyone carries around a huge purse like i do so im not sure how much this would help... unless you get one of those impossible small and hard to write agendas which to me are moot or wear cargo pants everyday...
     
  7. pixels

    pixels hiatus / only back to vent

    Lists. Lists are your friend. Even if it seems like a stupid task, write it down. I don't know about you, but I get a huge sense of satisfaction for physically crossing something off a written-down list. And keep the task list when you're done, so you can see everything you've accomplished!

    Scheduling will help, too. When you have set times to do things and such.

    Whatever works for you, know that we're cheering for you!
     
  8. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    The funny thing is that last semester I kept an obsessive list (like, I'd re-write it into my notebooks every week), and I somehow managed to forget to start one this semester.

    Ridonkulous. I also get satisfaction from crossing stuff off, and it's harder to cheat when it's handwritten.

    (Oh, yeah, I cheat on this all the time when I bother to put it into my phone. My phone is good only for reminding me of appointments. I downloaded that Plant Nanny thing so I could get better about hydration, and I was doing really well until a month or two later, when I forgot about it.

    It made me feel such weird amounts of sad for this sad-looking plant that, in order to avoid that feeling, I just lie at it so the imaginary plants aren't making sad faces at me.
    [​IMG]

    Ridiculous. reminds me, actually, I should get that off my phone.

    [quick phone break]

    Anyway, so a lot of the apps and programs that are supposed to make you accountable for your actions don't work with me, because if I fuck up, I get a weird amount of guilt - plus it gives me more satisfaction to cheat it. The worst thing is that the guilt doesn't actually make me change behavior, I just get rid of the program, because I only cheat at it if I've already screwed up once.

    ...huh. that's probably tied in to the perfectionism a bit. Thanks, high school!)

    Keeping accountable on here sounds like it could work pretty well, too. So, I've got my handwritten list (and luckily, I've got a giant messenger bag, so I can carry all the books and notebooks I require during the day), and I can re-update here.

    Today I wrote out my list, got in touch with a few people I've been avoiding for that, and organized my list between "appointments I need to be at/test times" and "things I actually need to do in the meantime". I also made save-the-dates for my internship's upcoming event, and finally filled out a survey for my major (extra credit points! yesss).

    Tomorrow I'm going to finish my lab and start rewriting my reaction paper; and between that, I'm going to call contractors so I can send them information on our fundraiser. And then I have to work at 3:30, so it's not a bad thing if I don't get everything done, but I should make an attempt.

    Okay. I feel better about this. I really only have 6 things to do before May that I have to do independently. This helps. Okay.

    Thanks!
     
  9. Vacuum Energy

    Vacuum Energy waterwheel on the stream of entropy

    hello are you me
     
    • Like x 1
  10. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    it's very possible, I seem to be a lot of other people on this forum too sometimes.
    (*gasps* what if I'm a sockpuppet account and don't know it)
     
    • Like x 1
  11. Ink

    Ink Well-Known Member

    How do you react to reward systems?
     
  12. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    hmm. badly when I have any measure of authority over them, even worse when someone else does.

    in the first incidence, I do pretty well until I lose track, or get bored, and then I start cheating it or I drop it entirely. my self-control is not, historically, awesome, and it's hard to stay on track when there are other things I could be doing.

    in the second incidence, having someone else in charge of reward systems trips all of my "I have to be autonomous and independent" sensors. makes me feel like a puppy asking for a treat. it's a combo of "asking for help means you are vulnerable" and "having someone else in control means you are vulnerable". when someone else is in charge of a reward system, I lose interest in the reward. I call it my "fuck you response".

    uhh, and when something else, like an app or computer program, is in charge of monitoring, it's easy to lie to it to readjust based on the moment.

    so, tl;dr, in my experience, poorly.
     
  13. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    You need some Rufus Thomas

     
    • Like x 1
  14. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Update: Wrote Reaction paper and also my Internship Paper.
    I am half done with the Portfolio, largely because the first two things can be shoved in there.
    I am also half done with contacting sponsors.

    I still have to do the rough draft and now, a paper for my american indian women class.
    But I've been going to sleep at kind of normal hours (2a instead of 5a), and so I have been able to do more things.
    I could actually get the rough draft done today. And start pulling past papers for my portfolio (hah alliteration points).

    And...Hm. I have an early morning lab tomorrow, which means I won't be able to get back to sleep - and I don't have work till saturday night, so I'll finish calling people then, and start on my american indian women paper.

    #wow look at me planning ahead n shit. #real talk though i've managed to switch my motivation from #but i have to graduatttte #to i'm gonna be able to tell people that I wrote like six papers in a month #amazing
     
    • Like x 3
  15. Ink

    Ink Well-Known Member

    That IS amazing. ^.^
     
    • Like x 1
  16. Lissiel

    Lissiel Dreaming dead

    For what its worth, my strategy was "fuck up everything in bulk measures and wind up in a mental hospital," but today Im fairly successful and pretty happy overall, so. Its ok to let a little of the pressure off if that helps: this stuff is important but not The Defining Moment of Your Whole Adult Life
     
    • Like x 1
  17. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    As of today, my portfolio is done. in an astounding burst of brainfuckery, I managed to blackmail myself into setting a deadline to get it done by (tomorrow) and then confirmed that with my advisor, who I have to present it to.

    everything is done except for my american indian women paper, which is not going to be that hard, and that's due in two weeks (so I'm going to tell myself it's due in a week instead). and I also have to finish up calling contractors.

    also it's finally sunny outside hell yeah. I was able to work by the window so I could soak up the rays like the weird little plant I am.

    annnnd tomorrow night is the welcome to night vale concert thing in fargo, which I will be at because fuck yeah I deserve it.

    (although now I am catching a cold or allergies, so I may be heavily drugged while in fargo. eh. par for the course, really). carefully spaced out intervals of benadryl and sudafed are clearly the answer.
     
    • Like x 2
  18. WithAnH

    WithAnH Space nerd

    Holy crap, good job! Have fun at the Night Vale show - you've definitely earned it.
     
    • Like x 1
  19. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Oh, update, portfolio went ridiculously well. I psyched myself out about it - and to be honest, I had good reason for doing that since I left it till the last day. But, I mean, since I had just written it, I was able to explain it a lot better, and I got way better scores on it than I thought I had a right to.

    I am 25 bucks away from being officially certified as a Certified Nonprofit Professional with the sorts of people in the US that are in charge of that sort of thing.

    I need to get in touch with my internship advisor to check on the progress of the progress report he has for me, and I have a few things to finish up for that.

    I have two final tests next week, two american indian women papers (the first one is in progress, the second one I'm writing tomorrow since it's only going to be 2 pages long)

    And I finally have enough money to survive on for a bit (in addition, this great lady i used to work with gave me a bunch of food from her pantry -she "adopts" college kids and "takes them shopping") so now I can buy my graduation gown & cap & et cetera

    Next week I am going to only have tests and be able to pack, it's going to be amazing, I love the people I've met in ND dearly but my god I have spent 5 years in this flat, sparsely treed, civil-rights-crushing brick of state. And in a few weeks I'll be in Wisconsin, and in a month I'll be in Michigan where there are trees and hills (and also apparently they got hit by a 4.0 earthquake last week like whoa). (I mean, the civil rights isn't that much better, but the scenery definitely is.)
     
    • Like x 2
  20. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    Update update:
    my last finals are on Thursday
    I'm studying for them tomorrow
    Perception & Psych Capstone

    Question: How the fuck do you study? I think I've heard notecards are involved somewhere. I want to finish this off on a good note, but I was one of those kids in high school and then again in early college, and so I've never really learned. Is there some dark and mystical secret? My original plan was just to reread my textbooks, but I feel like that will make me want to take out my eyes with a rusty spoon.

    #graduation on saturday #parents comin up friday #good bye nd #hello hills #but then i have to go to the dentist's #aw #sad face
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice