Inconvenient triggers? Help??

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Acey, Oct 6, 2017.

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  1. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    So here's the deal. One of my biggest triggers is one that, when it triggers me, causes harm to people around me.

    Specifically, I'm triggered by disagreement.

    See, my abuser would never let me disagree with her on anything. She was Always Right, so I had to agree with her or else deal with her getting absurdly pissy at me.

    We're not talking major disagreements here. We're talking about minor shit. Like, one time she was all "WELL ACTUALLY THEY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER SO" when I said I personally didn't like orange and blue together.

    So yeah. Disagreements, no matter how minor or stupid, actively trigger me. And that's a huge fucking problem, because I need to learn to fucking deal with them! Otherwise I'll end up like her, always having to be Right.

    Does anyone have advice here? I'm so lost and it hurts.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
    • Agree x 1
  2. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    Is there a way you could set up, with friends maybe who don't actually disagree with you on certain things, staged discussions where they take an opposing stance and you can work those feelings in what's basically a controlled environment?

    Sort of like a formal debate, where people are assigned positions to argue from, but without any of the stakes and with some kind of safe word for you to use to say "okay, I'm done with this thought experiment" when you think you've gotten to a point of no return. That way you can slowly ease yourself into those minor disagreements again, and you've got a safety net of knowing that everyone's coming into this aware and cognizant of your triggers around it.
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Useful x 1
  3. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    That’s a good idea! Thank you so much!
     
    • Like x 1
  4. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Does watching other people disagree set you off? If it doesn't, I'm sure there are plenty of televised debates on YouTube.
     
    • Useful x 2
  5. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    It only sets me off if they’re both people close to me, but even then it doesn’t set me off in a trigger way, it just makes me sad. :(
     
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